Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Christmas in Vietnam

Not sure what I will do for Christmas here in Hanoi. I'm not a Christmas person anymore, but doesn't matter, all I know is that this years Christmas will be WAY better than last years Christmas in Bangladesh! (edited)

Every Tuesday, my class of 8-9 year olds gather upstairs to our classroom and wait while I'm downstairs preparing lessons. Whenever I'd walk up the stairs I could hear them whisper and giggle, as soon as I'd reach to the classroom the lights would be off, I'd open the door in complete darkness and they'd all scream and roar, trying to scare me. Every week they do this.

Yesterday, I brought my camcorder to capture it this time. Routinely, I'd walk up the stairs with my camera ready, I heard the whispers and giggles, and I got to the door. The lights were off but then flickered back on. I opened the door and...well check it out.


awwwwww, they totally surprised me.

Merry Christmas everyone! And Happy New year, miss you all!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Someday...

I will disappear and chill on a mountain top. No teaching, no work, no art, just me. Thinking about what else to accomplish in my life.


mai chau

Thanks Brian.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

They're all growns up

I've been teaching English at E-Talents for about 5 months. I have already noticed my 8 year- old students growing. I swear that they have all grown at least 1 or 2 inches this summer, or maybe they got fatter, can't tell. But they look so different! Feels like I gave birth to them or something, when I look at them writing in their workbooks, I get all emotional and happy watching them grow and learning. *gush*

My other classes are the toughest, they're way too talkative, but good kids. They take out so much energy from me that I'm extremely exhausted when the day is over.

Another teacher substituted for one of my classes, the 16 year olds. I told her before that she needed to separate the boys and girls seating arrangements, or else they won't pay attention and talk the whole time. Apparently the kids took full advantage that she was a substitute and didn't listen to her. They would NEVER disobey me if I was there. I try hard to be the cool teacher, but when I need to be strict, I am STRICT. Really, it's all about repeating yourself slowly and using intense eye contact. If a boy refuses to move chairs cause he's distracting other students, I'd say "MOOOOOVE." He quickly moves without hesitation. I think to myself "Hah! Yeah, you better." It even works when I'm 5 meters away. Power in the eyes!

The substitute also mentioned that a boy forgot his workbook after class, and when she was searching for its name written inside, she saw scribbles that said "I Stephania." That could only be me. We still don't know who the owner of the workbook is but I can guess which kid it might be. One boy in particular, Tung. On my first day, I walked into class, he looked at me and said "Oh my god," all the kids were laughing. Since then he'd dress nicer each week; a tie, a collared shirt, or smooth hair. Good thing I don't know all the slangs in Vietnamese, cause most of the time during class, a boy would mutter something, the whole class laughs and looks at me if I understood. Yeah, good thing I don't know what they're saying.

I had to give up my volunteer teaching at the high school in Thact That district. I just don't have any time and energy to travel there. I'm already so busy with teaching English in Hanoi, working at the NGO, and freelance design. Sometimes I can't believe how much work I've agreed to do, thinking that I can actually do them. I feel very guilty because my time there was rewarding, but it was my lowest priority, the school was too far away and during an inconvenient schedule. Either way, I made a positive choice to focus on what I'm doing now; I'm saving money and building more experience.

I can't believe it's December already, time goes by quick. Soon it will be my 9th month in Vietnam. Anyways, Thailand for New Years 2011!! It's all about the beach, tanning, shopping, and relaxing. I had a busy year, I deserve this.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Things my students say...

Class lesson: Make a sentence by using Never, Always, Usually, and Sometimes.

1. I never eat people
2. I sometimes bath
3. I never eat a turtle
4. I never eat grass
5. I usually eat salad
6. I sometimes listen to my mom
7. I always go back to sleep when my mom scolds at me in the morning
8. I sometimes think
9. I always hit my brother

Class lesson: If I could meet anyone in the world, I'd meet...

1. Michael Jackson
2. Albert Einstein
3. Big Bang (korean pop group)

If I could live anywhere in the world, I'd live in...

1. The White House

If I was rich, I'd buy...

1. An airplane
2. Ferrari
3. Lamborghini
4. A sexy girl
5. A rocket
6. Jupiter
7. A sexy girl INSIDE a Ferrari

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Rice wine in a village...yum

I've been living in Vietnam for 8 months now. I'm surprised that I'm not anxious or getting itchy feet to move to another country. I'm still loving it here. I was still tired and worn out for 4 days since my birthday weekend. All in all, just been so busy with work and freelance design.

I like how my design job at EMW allows me to explore Vietnam. I took on a new challenge to lead a project where we research hand-made materials in Vietnam, and then producing our own products to fundraise for our organization.

Over the weekend I went to Hoa Binh, 3-4 hours from Hanoi. Hoa Binh is a Thai ethnic village that specializes in making textile fabrics. They don't live in houses, they live in nha sans, wooden houses on stilts. I've always wanted to stay in these when I first learnt about them in my early days arriving in Vietnam. I woke up Saturday morning at 4am (ugh) and rode my motorbike to my colleague's house. From there we got a ride to the bus station and got to Hoa Binh around 10:30am. Mountains! Cows! Dogs! Chickens! Cow shit everywhere! So nice to be in a village again!

Country people are different from city people. In Hanoi I get stared at often, maybe they're curious if I'm Vietnamese, Korean, Japanese, and I get the same stare when wearing a dress even! I don't like people staring at me, so many days I wear sun glasses or my hat. But in this village, no one cared how I looked or dressed. It felt like I was one of them, no one stared at me funny, regardless of me wearing Converse Chucks and a jacket with faux-fur hoodie.

hoa binh

Thai family invited us for a traditional Thai performance at their nha san.

For lunch, dinner, and breakfast. Rice wine was served. Rice wine tastes like vodka and is very light. I like vodka. Vodka is like water to me. I drank a lot over the weekend! Our first meal, the landlord lady brought out the rice wine (my eyes lit, I couldn't stop staring at it, wondering when someone was going to open it) and THEN she poured 4 cups for people who wanted it. We all cheered "Chuc Suc Khoe" which means "Get Well". WELL...I'm use to drinking the entire shot when I'm served a shot cup...I was the only one that drank the whole thing. When I finished, I put my cup down and everyone was staring at me, then looked away and continued eating in silence. Sometimes I think if it isn't good to show interest in drinking alcohol cause I'm a woman (being in Asia, lack of respect for female independence blah blah) but I haven't received any negative vibes from anyone. One Vietnamese woman there said she liked the way I act. I asked her 'cause I like rice wine?' she said 'yeah!' ...alright then! At the end they said they liked how I'm open to their customs and that I enjoy drinking with them, everyone's happy.

rice wine

Speaking of itchy feet, while I was in Hoa Binh, I was itching to go back to Hanoi. Hanoi is my home and where I feel comfortable. I know I am attached to Hanoi, just like I was to Nepal. I've been asked so many times how long I plan to stay in Hanoi, and I always say "My contract expires next June. Then I have no idea."

Monday, November 1, 2010

Blogging what I remember on my Birthday

My 8 year old student asked me how old I was. I said 27, then he said "Oh, that's young." Then I said "my birthday is tomorrow," he said "Oh...28...that's old."


Yes that's right, I'm 28 now. I was 26 when I left America. Last year's birthday was in Dharamsala, India. I wanted a mellow get together for my birthday this year but my friends' persuaded me to have a party at their house. Last week my friend Vikki and I went costume shopping, I must say there wasn't a good selection. I didn't have time to tailor my own outfit. So I had no clue. Then I saw it...floating on a coat hanger, a little boys' Superman costume. I thought to myself 'Can I fit into that?' I grabbed it and took off my jacket, and the store lady screamed at me to not put it on, she snatched the costume from hands and re-hung on. FINE!! Don't take my money then, I'll just walk to another store. The second store lady was MUCH nicer, she and her grandmother were laughing at me when I wanted to try it on, the lady couldn't hold her laughter in when she tried to tell me it was for children. The shirt was a bit tight bu do-able, but I wasn't going to attempt to try on the leggings. So I bought the costume anyway. I tried on the leggings when I got home, it wouldn't go past my knees. I used the waistline as a headband and made socks.

Friday night, about 40-50 people came. Everyone dressed up! At least tried to and I appreciate the effort people went through. I drank tons of beer and coconut rice wine. Then the chocolate cake came out...and then I went mental! People said I started the food fight, but I don't think I did...maybe I did, but when it did start I just went on a chocolate smearing rampage. Chocolate in my eyes, my ear, back of knees, my hair was dreaded in chocolate mousse. I washed my hair 2 times, it still stank of rancid milk and was super oily cause of the mousse.


my bday party

The next morning...hangover! Went back to bed to sleep it off and woke up around 2pm. Had lunch and met up with my friends to clean the house. I opened the roof door to await the mess, it looked pretty bad, but in a good way...cause then you know it was a good party! There were so many paper cups, beer cans, wine bottles, and random pieces of peoples' costumes...fuzzballs, head bands, bats, safety pins.

I found out that day that my great-grandmother wasn't feeling well. She's 103. I don't think I will get to see her. I hope my dad and grandmother are okay.

this is the face of loss...TaiLau


Saturday, October 23, 2010

Thank You and Thanks

It's been a journey. I wrote a post a while ago about random people sending me messages about my blog and how it had inspired them. I receive about 2 messages a week from people who have came across my blog or have heard from other people. I appreciate the messages saying "I can't wait for your next post" or "Keep it up, you seem so happy."

I always reply back saying "Thanks, I'm glad someone actually reads them!" I really feel like that. Like...wow...people care.

I think I am not a good blogger or even a writer! I never had a journal or diary. I've always used photographs as my memories. I write what I feel and I write when I feel like I need to write. I remembered how awkward it was to write my first few blogs, I didn't know what to say. My brother persuaded me to have a blog when I refused. I consider myself a private person, but I'm glad that I have continued to write and not give up.

I thanked my brother, dad, mom, and close friends for supporting me. And now I want to say thanks to whoever reads this. I appreciate you all following with me on this epic adventure. Although, even without support I'd still be doing this trip.

Anyways, design work for EMW is going well, designing a new website, and can't wait to find out which design we're going to end up using. Teaching English at the Hanoi school is good, the kids LIKE me! The other day I was on my motorbike going to work, another motorbike passed in front of me and a little boy sitting on the back turned his head, removed his face mask, and said "Hi Teacher!" and then ride away. :) It's also nice to run into my students in the city center and meeting their parents, the child would say "This is my teacher," and the parents would have huge smiles, then we would shake hands, and I'll tell them their child is a good student. They love that.

My colleague from work, Huong, invited me to visit her family in Phu Tho. It's a 3 hour train ride from Hanoi. The family was so welcoming that I fell in love with them. It's funny that when you enter a family's house in America, you are still distant to not over-stay your welcome, even when they say "mi casa es su casa." But this family, BAM! You're part of the family. I napped with Huong, her baby, and the grandmother in one bed...I slept well! I loved the grandmother and she made me miss my own grandmothers in America and China. I helped her out of the car one time and walked with her for walking support, she sniffed my hands. I got paranoid and asked Huong why the grandmother was sniffing my hands. Huong said that it was her way of showing affection. Awwwwwww!!!!! She liiiiiiiiiikes meeeeeeee. After that, whenever I saw the grandmother sitting alone, I'd sit next to her and hold her hand. Even though we couldn't communicate to each other (because I barely knew any Vietnamese), we had a bond. That's what I miss, I miss that kind of love. When the grandmother left, she sniffed both sides of my face. DOUBLE SNIFFS! YES!

phu tho provGrammy on right.

Huong's father seemed to like me a lot too, if I got married (ha!), he wants to come to the wedding. They will come to my house one day.

On another note, I got a new mattress cause the old one had bed bugs. BED BUGS!! Haven't been bitten by bed bugs since sleeping in a shitty hostel in India! Uhhhhhh.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Today I feel...

I'm happy I found this song. It speaks to me. Makes me think of life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8aPyBr-_S0

My misery
And how it lost me all I wanted
Those dogs that love the rain
And chasing trains
The colored birds above there running
In circles round the well
And where it spells
On the wall behind St. Peter's
So bright with cinder gray
And spray paint
'Who the hell can see forever?'

Thursday, October 14, 2010

My Folks

"YOU ARE SKINNY." That's what my pops said to me when he saw me picking him up at the Hanoi airport, October 4th. Followed by "A year and a half and 4 days." For me, it didn't feel long. For him, it was. He and I talked about my whole time in Vietnam while we waited for my mom to arrive. (they flew seperately from different countries). At this time beginning of October, it was 1,000 year anniversary of Hanoi itself. So it has been crazy packed in the Old Quarters.

My dad was emotional seeing me and I knew he was going to be like that. Seeing my mom was casual as ever, as if she was a buddy I saw yesterday, "hey" my mom said when we saw each other. We grabbed a taxi and headed to their hotel. It was late in the evening but all the lights of Hanoi was still lit. Been a while since I drove in the Old Quarters late at night, so it was nice to see it all decorated without the normal chaotic traffic.

The next day I met up with them and we walked around the Hoan Kiem Lake. I grabbed a couple cyclos (I can't believe I did it a second time) for my dad, and the other for mom and I. Rode around for 30 minutes and had lunch, and walked around some more around the Old Quarters. Went back to the hotel and took a nap. Dinner came around and I took them to Quan An Ngon. One of my favorite restaurants. My parents ordered 7 dishes! Turned out that my dad wanted me to be full, he thinks I'm starving myself to save money (maybe).

Wednesday, my parents left in the morning to Halong Bay. A 1 night and 2 day trip. I had to stay in Hanoi to work.

Thursday.

Friday, I worked and taught class. I met up with them in the evening before they went to bed. They said they enjoyed their time in Halong Bay and had great food. A few ups and downs with the tour guide and hotel management, but overall they enjoyed it.

Saturday, we had lunch with the owner of the school I am teaching in. The restaurant was a HUGE buffet and once again, I was stuffed. I think I did gain a few pounds that week. Anyways, after lunch we went to ceramic village and silk village. The whole journey should have taken about 3 hours, including shopping time, but because of traffic due to the festival, it took 5 hours! Not to mention, our taxi driver hit someone on a motorbike. The driver flew off his bike. I did not want my parents to see that when I had JUST told them that I bought myself a bike. The taxi driver gave the injured motorbiker 300k dong ($15) and we left. Good thing we were tired, my parents forgot about the accident and just relaxed when we got home.

Sunday, I was supposed to be at my parents hotel at 8am, and take a tour bus to Hoa Luu (Old capital) and Tam Coc. I woke up LATE! I can't remember what I did Saturday night...I woke up at 7:40 am. I brushed my teeth, grabbed my backpack, and drove as fast as I could to their hotel, the streets were so busy at that time! But I made it to my parents hotel on time.
I fell asleep the whole way to Hoa Luu. Hoa Luu was nice but Tam Coc was AMAAAAAZING. Way better than Halong Bay. My mom is silly, she's sooo silly.

Tam Coc

TamCocTam Coc

We got back to Hanoi early evening and I took them to have BBQ. Afterwards, we had dessert called Che, it's just a bunch of different stuff mixed together and crushed ice on top, my parents like that kind of stuff. We headed back to the hotel and I spent the night there with them. My dad had to leave back to Taiwan the next early morning.

Monday morning, my dad left at 7:30am. He told me not to come with him to the airport. I couldn't go anyway cause I had work, but if I didn't, he would force me to stay in Hanoi. My dad is too proud to cry in front of me, I'm the same way. I left my mom at the hotel until lunch time. I picked her up at noon, put her in a taxi and followed me back to my house, 15 minutes away.

Tuesday, I forced my mom to cook for my friends and I. It took us 2 days to shop for all the ingredients, and it was the first time I rode a motorbike with her on the back! It was a lot of fun and she didn't seem scared or paranoid being a passenger. That's good. About 10 people showed up and my mom and I cooked so much food! The left overs lasted a few more days. Anyways, it was a good night of my close friends and it was nice to eat her cooking again. She's the best Chinese chef!

DSCN4271Dinner

Wednesday, I was late coming home in the evening. I had to attend a ceremony where a Vietnamese 'celebrity' was handing over donations to people suffering from disabilities. I had to take photographs. It was crazy traffic and was so worried my mom was waiting for me to eat dinner. I got home quickly and I open my bedroom door, my mom is laying there watching her Chinese DVD's. She did eat without me cause I was too late, but we went to the Old Quarters to go shoe shopping. Ate a little food cause I was hungry and we both shared a fruit smoothie.

Thursday, I came home from work at noon, we had lunch and went to a hair salon. We got our hair washed and had facials. We both relaxed until her taxi came at 4:30 pm, and she left to the airport back to America.

I think my parents liked Vietnam. I also think that my dad understands why I like it here and more acceptable that I'd rather be here than America. I needed my dad to visit me cause it's good for both of us. I like seeing people I care about and I miss a lot of people, and he needed to see his daughter. It was a good trip, many laughs and hugs.

TamCocmy folks.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

sleeping to dream

Spiders, sharks, motor accidents, and losing people I love. Some things I am afraid of. But now I have this annoying habit that seems impossible to get rid of, and I can only worry more if it gets worse...

When I was in Europe for 9 months in 2004, traveling through 15 countries and 160 cities (so imagine how many hostels I've slept in). I developed a sleeping habit of waking up abruptly, kind of scared, took a minute to realize which country I was in and why I was there. I'd wake up and think "where am I?" A minute is a long time to think which country I'm in! I was completely clueless. That habit eventually faded when I went back to America.

The past few months that habit is creeping back again, but more fearful and almost violent. I'd wake up with a big kick (as if I was falling in my dream) in the middle of the night and I would be really really scared. I'll look around my room and still be confused on where I was. I'd think "Am I in India?" Then slowly I would remember that I am in my house, Hanoi, Vietnam. Lately, I'd wake up and think I'm in Los Angeles, that I was sleeping in my old apartment, and this was all a dream. Everything...Nepal, India, Vietnam...the past 1.5 year was all a dream. I was dreaming the best dream I ever had and it never actually happened, I'm in reality. I told my brother this problem via skype and he said "Mei, if this is a dream, then I would be dreaming too."

It's a realization that I am living my dream and I fully understand now how important this trip means to me. How precious time is. I'm going to be 28 years old. How long can I keep this dream going for?

Monday, September 6, 2010

Currently in Hanoi

So far so good in Vietnam. I moved into an awesome house in Westlake with really cool housemates, and a great view of banana tree farms. Started teaching over a month ago and I love my students. Graphic work is going well, I'm enjoying the projects I have been working on. Also doing separate design projects on the side to make more money.

I recently responded to an ad I found on the internet. It needed volunteers to teach English to a high school outside of Hanoi, Thach That district. I visited the school a few weeks ago to understand their knowledge of English. I found out during my visit that I was the only person that responded to the ad and was willing to travel 1 hour to the school and help out. The teacher that was organizing this program desperately needed my help. After all this time being in Asia, I am ready to take on this program. I've met with the director and principal of the school and they agreed that I can take charge. So I'm facilitating! (for free) But at the same time, I'm doing this alone. Teaching 4 classes with a total of 250 teenagers isn't easy. I definitely need to find some foreigners interested in doing this. Anyways, this morning was the first day of teaching. I woke up at 5:20am (ughhhh) and got to the school at 7am. Wow...it was really tough getting the kids to say Hi or Hello. I knew it would be difficult for the kids to speak cause I know they're shy, and most likely embarassed to speak in front of me. It was frustrating because a lot of them were lazy, like ALL teenagers, but I know they have potential. This will be a good challenge for me.

DSCN4076Phung Xa Commune School

The school I'm teaching in Hanoi is great! The students I teach are 8-14 years old. I have been asked to teach at other schools for more pay, but I refused cause I was already attached to my students. I didn't want to leave them. They're so clever. For example, I was teaching them what strange and normal meant. I drew a picture of the sea on the board, they called out that fish, shells, coral, and sharks were normal in the sea. Then I drew rabbits, horses, and ants, and they all said it was strange. After I drew a car with a person driving in it, all said it was strange but one boy, he said "Normal!" I gave him a confused look and I asked why? He said "...in the future." Come on! Isn't that cute!

DSCN4084Hanoi School.

Because I'm taking on so many great projects, I'm not even sure if I'm doing too much. I barely have any free time, I'm always tired. BUT!!! I like it. I'd rather be busy than not. I am doing what I came here to do, was work. My work is important...and I'm doing it, I'm happy. I like that I can still do voluntary work while I'm here. It keeps my mind in-check.

In one month, my parents are coming to visit me. :))))

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Anything you can spare...

Friends & Family,

If you have the time please take a look at this website. I volunteered at one of their hostels in Kathmandu, Nepal, and taught English at the lama care center. They have another school located in Kailash, which is on the border of Nepal and Tibet. They're in need of sponsorships or donation. Currently, they are afraid that they will not be able to continue all 3 schools because of insufficient funds. It would also be helpful if any of you could spread this message around. Thanks.

Limi orphansLimi orphans, took them swimming, they never went swimming before.

last day of teachingLama care center.

If you're interested in volunteering or knowing about their projects, please contact: kailashzone@gmail.com

Thursday, August 12, 2010

D'sLG

I think my dream came true. In my previous post, I wrote about a dream I had of my father. I had dreams about my family before, but this dream was so surreal, that it got our father-daughter relationship on the dot.

Growing up, I was a stupid kid. I did stupid shit: I stole, I lied, I was careless, hung around with the wrong crowd, I got into fights, I was horrible in school...I guess you can say a normal kid. My parents did the best they could to help me find the right path, but of course how can they do that? I would never listen to them. My father and I, did not have a good relationship. Most of the time, I was always crying. This goes back to me being dumb, getting into trouble, and being punished. I was so use to crying in front of my father that it became a routine. When I turned 16, that's when a lot of things changed. ME. I hated my life. I didn't know who I was or why I existed. Then I discovered art. I saw a painting in the Pasadena Norton Simon museum, 'bust of a woman' by Pablo Picasso. The painting was my reflection. I related to her facial expression, she looked lost. That's when I knew I love art. It was the first time I felt something. I felt alive. Then I went to art school and my life was getting better and better.

Since then, there were less arguing between me and my dad. I changed. He was waiting for me. My parents supported everything I did and I thank them for that. However, I still can't say I love you to my father without wanting to cry. The crying happens because I don't know how to act emotionally around him. Whenever I am emotional, it's because of all the arguing we had in almost my whole life. It just happens, even when I try not to.

Christmas of 2002, I wrote him a letter as a present. I told him that I loved him and I thank him for everything he has done for me. Where would I be if he wasn't so protective? Who would I be if he didn't teach me to be independent and take care of myself? My strength comes from him.

Our relationship is very quiet. We don't talk much. I'm positive that we NEVER had a deep conversation before. I think if we did, both of us probably can't take it (emotionally), and stop the conversation. We're too much alike: strong, reserved, doesn't like to show weakness. We talk about normal things, but never something deep. In my dream, there was barely any dialogue, but you can feel the love in the relationship...I think. You can feel that we loved each other, father and daughter.

I have seen my father cry 2 times in my life. One of those times was when his grandmother was dying. Third time I saw him cry was when I left United States to Nepal, at the airport, outside of the security gates. He knew I didn't want to come back. Since then, he cries at almost every Skype video call. Tonight, I skyped them. They told me they wanted to come to Vietnam in October to visit. This is one of the best news I've had since Stephaney came. My dad said he read the blog post shortly after I posted it. I asked him "Did you cry?" my dad changed the subject and continued to show me around the new house they moved into. After he put the laptop down, I asked again, this time my mom answered "YEAH! He cries at night in bed, WAH! WAH! WAH! I want to know why you didn't dream about me!" We were all laughing.

my folks 08-12-10I hope they come.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

A Story for my Dad

I'm walking on a dirt road by myself, I'm carrying a small backpack, wearing boots, a scarf wrapped around my head, and wearing sunglasses. I must be in traveling mode and finding a village to stay for a while. It's mid-day I think, hot, but not humid. I see a trail off the road into the woods and I look up and see a hill pass. I guess I wanted to go over it, so I take the trail off the road up the hill.

There are trees everywhere, they fill around me more and more where I have to take out a machete to cut off the branches. (I have a machete?) So I'm cutting my way out of the woods Crocodile Dundee style and I see a clear valley coming up. I break away, put the machete away in my backpack, and walk up a hill. I get to a cliff and I stop to look at the view.

"Very nice view," I turn around and there's my dad. He's standing behind me and looking at the same direction I was looking at. He has his hand over his eyes so the sun doesn't reflect off his glasses. He's wearing a red and black checkered button-up shirt, blue jeans, and white sneakers. His hair is very gray, but he still looks the same, a 6ft asian dad with a beer belly. I smile at him while he's looking around. He then looks at me and puts his arm around my neck and kisses me on the cheek. He pats me on the back and pulls me away from the cliff and we continue walking up the hill. I worry about him walking, I don't think he can handle a trek like this, it isn't flat, mainly up-hill rocks and dirt. But I'm remembering that this is a dream. My dad is like Superman. He's jumping over puddles, tip-toeing across a log over a stream, climbing boulders without sweating or huffing and puffing like a former smoker.

"Where's Mom?" I ask him.
"She's in China, visiting Po Po, (Po-Po=Grandmother) Mom told me to come with you."
"That's good."

We continue silent walking, my dad jumps high over a stream. He lands perfectly on the other side, turns around, waiting to watch me jump. I take a few steps back, run, and jump. I land right in the middle of the stream, water all over me, and my boots soaked. My dad is laughing his ass off. Hearing his laugh again makes me smile. I stomp out of the stream and I tell him to shut up. He pats me on the back, catching his breath, takes off his glasses to wipe his laughing tears.

"I think this is the top." He says. I look further up and he's right, we're at the top. We stop around a few boulders. I take out my water bottle and I give it to him. He takes 3 big gulps and hands it back to me. I lay on my backpack and I see my dad sitting with one leg crossed over the other. His hands are resting on his crossed leg, he's looking at the view, smiling. I rest my head back and put my scarf over my eyes to nap for a few minutes.

After a few minutes, I hear him say "Mei, I'm gonna go now." I say "okay," and I hear his foot steps walking away. After a few more minutes, I lift my scarf up, and he's gone. I pick up my backpack and I start walking again.

I miss you. Mom too.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

"I am here to search for beauty"

(disclaimer: emo) I recently met a Brazilian traveler that I connected with very deeply. The title of this post was quoted by him and I loved how he said it. I have a hard time explaining how I see 'beauty' in the world. Like my left arm tattoo; a beautiful world. Originally, I wanted it to say We live in a beautiful world, inspired by Coldplay's 'Don't Panic.' But it was like 4 lines long in Tibetan script and I had to trim it shorter. Anyways, he's the first person that I met that sees it the same way as I do.

If you take out the madness, the hate, the things that man has made for the world to be corrupt...and just look at where we live. It's so beautiful. If you have never cried (not baby-balling crying, but just enough to shed a tear) at seeing something beautiful, then I feel sorry for you. Not happiness or fullfillment when you see something beautiful, that doesn't count, I mean...real crying.

My first experience of crying beauty, I was 19 years old in China, I can't remember what city or what temple I was in. But when I walked in, there was a 30 ft (10 m) golden Buddha. Around him were hundreds of smaller golden Buddhas, or Gods, or other statues. They had intricate carvings and extravagant facial expressions, but they were all around me. It felt like I was inside an egg and these statues were alive, enclosing on me. The interior art of the temple overwhelmed me, to the point where I was crying, I was balling my eyes out cause I never seen anything like it.

Another story, I was in Kathmandu, Nepal. It was Nepali New Years, myself and other volunteers walked around a hill near our house that had a stoupa on top. At the entrance, there were stairs that led to the stoupa, there were thousands of lit candles everywhere. There were monks everywhere and people handing me candles whenever I was empty-handed. Being a part of something so sacred, cultural, and meaningful...I thought I would never see something like it again. That's when I realized that simple things can affect me.

nepali new yearNepal.

Back to the traveler I met. He told me a couple emotional incidents where he felt the same way. He told me a story from Thailand and Cambodia, but I won't share the story because it isn't mine to tell it. Anyways, I told him a humbling story of some Indian village girl being nice to me and giving me candy and rupees because I didn't have any to give her. He asked me later "How can we find this beauty? And how can it find us?" I thought about it for a little and replied "We can't find it, it finds us. But, we have to step out of our bubble first, being away from it, far away, and then it finds us." He had an interesting way of guiding himself in his trip and even though I'm on the same passage as he is, I am still surprised and inspired by him. There are other people in this world trying to find beauty, looking for the answer which we never asked the question, and we still change.

I 'found' myself a long time ago during my solo Europe trip so I'm not looking for answers on why I exist in this world. I'm here because I want to be here, I know what I want to do with my life, I know how to make myself happy. I believe the world is beautiful, I don't care if you don't agree, but I will have to say that it's because you haven't seen it yet.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Your soul mate can be your best friend

I'm lucky. So is Stephaney. (yeah yeah, same name) We've known each other for 20 years. We went to different high schools, different colleges, different countries, yet...our friendship is still strong. This is what I needed, all of my travels were with people I met, but I never spent it with someone I knew well and cared for.

I met up with her in Saigon (South Vietnam). I emailed her to meet me at the hotel I picked. I knew she would arrive around 11pm, I was an excited little puppy and couldn't wait in the room, I had to stand outside of the hotel to wait for her. Numerous of taxis went by and I saw a taxi pull over near me but I saw within the tinted windows there was a group inside the car...Stephaney can't be in that car I thought, but who do I see come out? Stephaney looking confused. It's HER!

First day in Saigon, we went to the history museum, reunification palace, and met up with my friend Margie whom is a volunteer that I always wanted to meet. That night we went on a night bus to Phnom Penh, Cambodia. On the bus Stephaney was whining about her Vietnam visa, she said she made a mistake by getting a single entry on her visa, so...that means she had to get a new visa after we're done with Cambodia, back to Vietnam. Sooooo...that means she only used 1 day on her visa...I couldn't help but chuckle (hence my bad luck with visas). In the morning we reached Chau Doc and from there we took a speed boat along the Mekong River (I think we slept the whole way). Arrived in Phnom Penh in the afternoon and looked for a cheap room to sleep in. We visited the national museum and per my request we went to the Killing Fields. I had to know more about the history of Cambodia. I learned a lot and I also felt a 'fullfillment' when I visited it. This is the 2nd time being in Cambodia for me and it was special. I was happy to be back and sharing this experience with someone I loved. Stephaney got to see my happiness being in Cambodia.

Took a day trip to Sihanoukville, 5 hours away from Phnom Penh, we got there in the afternoon and went straight to Serendipity beach, we got bombarded by sellers of bracelets, keychains, crab, fruit, necklaces, and threaders. Stephaney got her bottom legs threaded (hair pulled off (don't kill me Stephaney for mentioning this)) and I got 2 free bracelets from little girls. I think Stephaney and I took 50 improv photos of us jumping in the air catching the timer on her camera. I was surprised how tired we were after the 30th shot. Later in the evening caught a sleeper bus back to Phnom Penh, Steph's first time on a sleeper bus!

sihanoukville, cambodiaSihanoukville, Cambodia

Next day was a bus to Siem Reap (my favorite place in the WORLD). When we got into our hotel we arranged a horse-back ride around the village. That was fun cause it was Steph's first time on a real horse, I liked mine because she was wild and crazy and tried bucking me off whenever we trotted, her name was Madonna. Temple day was great, the weather wasn't too bad. Last time I was in Siem Reap 3 years ago it was HOT. Thankfully it was cloudy. Stephaney said Angkor Wat was amazing, and I said "Yeah, it's OLD," touching one of the ruins with my finger. We had great posed photos around the ruins (America's Next Top Model Style). We also donated blood at the Jayavarman Children's Hospital, I donated blood there 3 years ago and had to do it again, I convinced Stephaney that it was safe and she did it with me. She isn't evil after all.

donated blood in cambodia
siem reap, cambodia
siem reap, cambodiaTa Phrom temple, Cambodia



Arguement #1: On our way out of Angkhor Wat, Stephaney stopped by a stall that sold paintings. She asked how much a 30x10 painting was and the girl thought for a while and said "Thirty-hundred thousand dong," I knew she meant 300,000D ($15), so I corrected her English and said "You mean...three hundred thousand." Stephaney yelled at me "STEPHANIE!" and giving me a look to shut the fuck up, as if I was telling the woman we did want to buy it for 300,000D. I yelled back at Stephaney "I'm CORRECTING her English!" Stephaney tried to get away with 30,000D ($1.50), but either way if she did get it for 30,000D I would feel bad and be honest and say that we can't rip this girl off cause she's ignorant. I left cause Stephaney annoyed me and after 10 minutes I came back to the same painting stall and I see 10 locals surrounding her...what did Stephaney get herself into now?

Arguement #2: Stephaney was on holiday, she can spend whatever amount she wanted and had a good job back in Cali, so it didn't matter how much she spent. For me...I'm a total traveler-budget-on-a-shoe-string. We understood each others views but it was difficult to accept them. It was hard for her to bargain something that was $5 more than it should be, because it didn't matter to her, and it was hard for me to accept a $350 plane ticket from Siem Reap to Danang, Vietnam. I know Stephaney had a tight schedule and didn't want to waste time traveling for 2 days when we can get there in 2 hours. I was upset cause I didn't want her to spend that much money and also to pay for me, cause I would feel so guilty. She was annoyed because I should have been more appreciative that she would pay for me. We both had to adjust and we ended up meeting in the middle. We took a night bus to Saigon (slept on chairs that didn't recline in the BACK seat of the bus) and take a flight from Saigon to Danang. She saved about $600 and we got to Hoi An, Vietnam the same day. We were both happy with the outcome.

Arrived in Danang and took a taxi to Hoi An, Vietnam. We both loved it! It was a charming, cute, old town. Also Stephaney found a sweet hotel for $25 that had a pool, a bath tub (I haven't had a bath in over a year), with robes, and a balcony. I told her I felt like Cinderella, a poor girl that hasn't had any luxuries. She then looked in the closet and gasped, I said "Are there robes in there?" she responded "Yes, so now we can feel like REAL princesses!" AND we had a mosquito net around our huge bed with a mattress that was at least 7 inches thick! It was the softest bed I slept in so long.

hoi an, vietnamHoi An, Vietnam

We shopped and shopped, took a couple bicycles and rode to the nearest beach and relaxed. After we rode our bikes around the town, almost crashed into 3 motorcyclists, ate, drank, and explored. That night we reminisced about everything: unforgettable embarassing stories and funny moments. Next morning we woke up at 3:30am to catch out 4:45 am train from Danang to Hanoi, Vietnam (Stephaney was flying out of). Duration was 15 hours. Stephaney slept most of the way and I didn't, I always had a hard time sleeping on buses and trains.

hoi an, vietnamYes, I made a u-turn and Stephaney waited to take the perfect shot while I gaze.

I almost LOST MY BEST FRIEND. Seriously. All the bathrooms on the train were padlocked. So we had to get off the train and use the station bathrooms. Stephaney missed the last stop and waited for the next. We stopped at Vinh and she got off first to use the bathroom while I watched our belongings in the cabin. An old man came into our cabin and his berth was on top, he sat down and we had a weak Vietnamese conversation. At that moment I felt the train move, I looked out the window, and we were moving. The train was leaving the station! I freaked out and ran to the exit door and told the lady conductor that my friend got off to use the bathroom and wasn't back. We were in coach 12 and I ran through the hallways, pushed people out of my way to Coach 5 (the conductor wouldn't let me continue on) to see if Stephaney might have hopped on from the back of the train. I saw no black girl. I moped back to my cabin and the conductor asked if I saw her, I said no and sat down on the berth and conjured up ways how Stephaney could survive: She had her purse on her so she had money, she had a Vietnamese phrase book so she knew how to get around, she had my cell number to tell me she was okay. Another conductor walked by our cabin and the lady conductor told him what happened, he looked unconcerned and looked to his right, and pointed. The lady conductor screamed in delight and Stephaney walked in. Turns out that while Stephaney was passing by the train to the station, people were yelling at her to get back on the train because it was moving. Apparently she managed to get on the last coach of the train while it was moving, picked one of the locked doors and used the bathroom in one of the coaches that I might have passed by when looking for her.

Later on a boy came into our cabin and had the other top berth. His English was good and was translating between us and the old man. The old man told the boy something and the boy laughed. The boy said "He says that you both lost each other, but he could see the bond between your friendship because she was so scared, like an older sister." We were all laughing.

There was one special moment on the train before losing her: We passed by a rain storm, I could barely see outside of the window, and I could make out the mountains, valleys, and rivers. Stephaney was sleeping across of me, she was dead asleep. I crouched with my knees up to my chest and gazed out the window. Even though I couldn't completely see outside I knew it was still beautiful out there. I was thinking: When will I ever see her again? When will I share this experience with someone? Why would I go back to the States when I can have this adventure over and over? Why would I leave a country this beautiful? When will this be over? It was a good train journey.

Stephaney officially admitted that she likes Hanoi, better than Saigon, HA! Best way to explain the difference between Hanoi and Saigon, is San Francisco, CA (Hanoi) and Los Angeles, CA (Saigon). I'll always love L.A., but I love Hanoi. The past 2 weeks went by so fast. We didn't waste any time at all and made sure we did everything we could. I told her that I haven't drank beer and ate so much food in a long time. AND, she conformed me to buy a $5 fake Louis Vuitton wallet and to ride on a cyclo in Hanoi. Couple of the things that I vowed myself to never buy or do.

This has been the best trip I had by far and I have never laughed so much in a long time. Bon temps. I'm very thankful for Stephaney as a friend and her visiting me. I'm sure in the future we will share our stories about this trip and all the funny random moments.


Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Looking back, now, and forward

I went through my photos on flickr. I started to think of the things I've done in the past 15 months. I miss home...but where is home? I use to consider Nepal being home because it was so easy to fall in the Nepali lifestyle. In Ladakh, I had a nice room in a perfect location, with big windows where I could sit and watch people walk by, that I considered home. Hanoi is great to me so far and it's my home now, for the time being.

It seemed that I have left my mark in each place I've been to. I want to go back and visit the people that I have bonded and shared tea with. I want to go back to Nepal, visit the boys and monks, and see how tall they've grown. I want to go back to Ladakh and see if the classroom murals I painted had faded. I want to go back to McLeod Ganj, India, just to be in McLeod Ganj, I want to feel what I felt the first day I arrived there...butterflies.


McLeod GanjMcLeod Ganj.

I think I have accomplished what I dreamt of -for so many years- already. Being a wanderer is cool. I can easily pick up my backpack without saying Goodbye and go to a new country tomorrow if I wanted to. Knowing that I have that freedom makes me happy. I love change so much that I can't think what I will do next month.

I really encourage my readers (or whoever actually reads my entries) to be inspired by my experiences. Like, who do you know that has seen the Dalai Lama 5 times...driving or walking by you randomly? That doesn't happen. Occasionally, I would get emails from random people saying they found my blog and have been reading for a few months, and then telling me that they bought a plane ticket to South America or India to volunteer! Can you imagine how that makes me feel? Even writing this post makes me emotional. I get emails from people asking me where to volunteer and how to find a good organization, and I'll write back with tons of references, advice, stories, and personal destination favorites. This is why I blog, to inspire and help other ordinary people like me to get up and go.

One thing I learned during my trip is that appreciation and my relationship with the people I met are essential, those are the reasons why I am still here and continuing for who knows how long. For example: If my students can't fully understand the use of modal verbs, it's okay...I don't feel that I failed in teaching them. I know that one day they will understand which modal verbs to use. Even so, because I had a close relationship with them, I still feel that we both learned something: was each other. They share their lives with me and I share my life with them. That bond will never leave my memories and I hope to meet more people that will leave a mark in my heart.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

First impression of Laos wasn't what I expected

I like it when that happens. You have an idea before you jump into it and it's completely different...and gay. It was a very very fun week and I had a very entertaining host-ess. Guy (Somvang) or it's Somvang (Guy). I love you bitch.

Monday, June 14th I started the day early finishing the projects I had left to do in the office. For 6 hours my heart rate was uncontrollably high, to the point where I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack. I've worked under pressure many times back in L.A. But I haven't had the feeling of stress in the past 15 months. So yeah, around 2pm I had to leave the office to go back home and pack, exchange money, eat, and pick up my bus ticket. The travel agency said they lost my ticket and there weren't any space left, not even sleepers. I stared at the girl and said "This is your fault you know that?" she nodded yes and apologized. She had my cell number and could have called me but didn't. So I continued to stare at her and said that she will find me a seat because my visa will expire the next day. She started making phone calls. Okay so, I'm not a nice person, I'm really not that nice. I can be a real bitch when needed. I sat there and watched her every move so she knew I was serious and that maybe, it wouldn't be a good idea if she had to say again that there were no seats left. Oh and guess what? She found an available seat. So that wasted 20 minutes of my lunch time.

Usually I carry my knife in my pocket whenever I travel. Always. I'm always the target on the bus for being a foreigner, but when I got on the bus, no one noticed me. Duh! I look like them! Anyways, I get on the bus and it was crowded. The guy next to me asked if he could have the window and I obliged. After a while I knew why he wanted the window. We picked up hitch-hikers along the way and sat tightly in the aisle. I felt sorry for them to endure 24 hours of sleep-sitting and I let one girl rest her head on my lap to catch some snooze.

Arrived in Vientiane, Laos on Tuesday 4pm. I called Guy and told him that I was in town and we planned where to meet. So when entering in a new country, sometimes you don't have a clue on how much things are suppose to cost. Such as tuk-tuks. I didn't know how far Nanphu (landmark fountain in the town center) was from the bus station that I was dropped off at. So I negotiated with a driver and he started out with 60,000 kip (8,000 kip to our $1). I said 10,000 kip. He laughed at my face and said 50,000 kip, I said 10,000 kip. He laughed at my face and said 40,000 kip, I walked away. I found another driver and he started with 30,000 kip, I said 10,000 kip. He gave me a sad face and said 20,000, I agreed. I got on the tuk-tuk and more people got on, I asked them what the price should be from where we were to Nanphu, the locals said no more than 10,000 kip, dammit! The driver dropped everyone off (they paid him 3,000 kip) and I was the last sitting in the tuk-tuk, after a couple turns it was Nanphu. So I decided to give him $1 and a 2,000 kip, which comes out to 10,000 kip. He stared at me and said 20,000 kip. I said "Yeah I know, but then my friends told me that it should be 10,000 kip, and I think that's what I should give you. Because I'm new to this country and you're taking advantage of my ignorance, and that's really not fair." I know this is mean, but I knew he didn't know any English. He smiled and tried to put his hand down my jean pocket to find my notes. I grabbed his hand away from me and said "What are you doing?" with a smile on face. I noticed from afar that a foreigner was going to come to my rescue, but stopped and watched the whole time incase things got heavy. The driver tried to do it again and I swept his hand away, I smiled and said "I'm not going to give you another 10,000, okay thank you, bye." The driver surrendered and went back in his tuk-tuk and drove off. I saw Guy and he introduced me to his couch surfer, Michale from Italy, the foreigner that tried to save me. Michale said he was watching the whole spat and said "You handled that very well, like a professional." Gee thanks!

We went back to Guy's mansion. So here's the deal: Guy is Laotian descent but from L.A. and teaching in a university for 3 years in Vientiane. We clicked. It was like being back in L.A. with the girls! We got to his house and the last season of Ugly Betty was in the DVD player, my eyes lit and we all knew it was t.v. time. We bonded for 4 hours watching Ugly Betty until it was time for us to sleep. I slept.

The next morning Michale left to travel throughout Laos. Guy and I went out for lunch and met with a couch surfing German couple. They were a good looking sweet couple and we all clicked. I told Guy that if he liked Ugly Betty, he would probably like Glee. I saw a few episodes when I had cable t.v. back at my old guesthouse and was in love with it. Anyways, I didn't have much time to plan where I wanted to go and realized that the places I wanted to visit were too remote. Plus it was HOT to take a motorbike. Vang Vieng was the closest, I knew Vang Vieng was a party town but I didn't want to make pre-judgements. I was at a bus station and it was taking forever. It would cost 50,000 kip for a 5-hour ride, plus waiting another 2 hours for it to depart. I met a family outside of the station that was going to Vang Vieng, they said I can ride in the back of their truck full of rice sacks and a canopy cover for 20,000 kip. So I jumped in the back and fell asleep the whole way. I think we got there in 3.5 hours. They had to make a turn and dropped me off 3 km from the Vang Vieng center and I walked the rest of the way.

I past through some villages but still...I think the whole area lost it's soul. It was way way too touristy for me. It was full of Aussie kids wearing board shorts with their cracks showing, carrying water tubes. I past by many sports bars that were playing Seinfeld and Friends and blasting 10 different songs at once, like they were trying to out song each other to get customers. It was still beautiful, the scenery was nice and I had a good cheap hotel room with a nice view. But I didn't come to Laos to party or to hear Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance," Ice Cube's "You can do it," and 50 cent's "Hey Shorty" playing at once all the way till 4am. I left the next morning back to Guy's house. I would rather watch Ugly Betty over and over than to stay in Vang Vieng for another night. BUT, I will say this...if I come back to Laos, and I do go back to Vang Vieng, I will be more prepared to do the outdoor activities, I love exploring: rock climbing, caving, and swimming. It's just not what I felt like doing at that time. I wanted to relax and be at peace.

Vang ViengVang Vieng

I got to Guy's house and saw his car in the drive-way. I shouted his name and I heard "What the hell?" in a high pitched voice. He was happy to see me. The German couple was still there and what do I see on the t.v. screen? GLEE!!! They got the season 1 Glee and was having a marathon.

That night we went out. There was a soccer game, German against Siberia? I don't know, Guy and I weren't interested. We were the only ones sitting away from the t.v. blabbering about Ugly Betty and being 2 obnoxious Angelinos. We met an Aussie lesbian and a young Dutch boy that thinks he knows everything. We went to a bar that had a rock 'n roll band that was performing cover songs. At the bar...the Aussie lesbian asked if I was gay. I said no and I thought maybe it was because I was so bestie with Guy? The Aussie lesbian didn't talk to me much after that. I got into a real bitch-out (2 arguing bitches) with a gay Austrian dude, that was fun...I won. And Guy and I pretty much got kicked out of English pub because some guy really wanted to see the soccer game and we were in his view...we bitched him out to relax.

Later in the night, Guy has been trying to get into the Dutch boy's pants the whole time, but the Dutch boy was trying to get into mine! I threw out obvious signals that I wasn't interested and actually had to confront him that he wasn't gonna get any of this. We all slept in separate beds.
The next morning the German couple left to Vang Vieng and I woke up to see Guy over me with breakfast. I had 4 hours of sleep and had a small hangover. I ate the pineapple but couldn't eat the eggs with mushrooms and bacon, I so wanted to! Afterwards, we dropped off the Dutch boy somewhere...thank Goodness, and Guy and I got massages. After lunch we planned on what to do that day: Snack binge, Glee, and Cycle 14 of America's Next Top Model. Oh and picked up an couch surfer Aussie bicyclist.

DSCN3739

After one more massage, singing Glee songs, snack binges, Glee again to educate the Aussie bicyclist, my week had to end. I missed Hanoi. So I got my new Vietnam visa and went on another 24-hour journey back. I'm going to enjoy this year very much.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Officially an Expat, no longer a Nomad

I've decided to stay in Hanoi, Vietnam for a YEAR. Before you even think, it's not for a guy, okay?! The thought came out of nowhere, I asked my boss from the organization if there was a way for me to stay long-term and bada bing bada boom, year contract. I'm happy and scared at the same time. I love change, but this is more like a commitment. I'm scared of commitments at the moment, but I'm always up for a challenge.

I'm so use to moving around after a few months, living out of my backpack, and now I'm going to live here. I'm already set up with an awesome house and a bicycle, and I just can't wait to be officially admitted to East Meets West organization.

I like Hanoi a lot. If I like a place and I'm able to get a visa without complications, then yeah...I'd love to work there for a year. For example: Nepal or Cambodia, if someone asked me to work for them for a year, to be paid that is livable, and the ability to get a visa whenever I want, why not? That's exactly what I'm doing. It's totally spontaneous and I love it. I like my friend circle, we're all so similar; artsy. They all come from different countries. Lots of them just came to visit and ended up staying for 5 years. Could that happen to me? (Don't be scared dad, it's just a thought). Some of them had told me to not leave them and that I should stay in Hanoi. I hear something like this all the time wherever I volunteer at, however it was never easy to do so. But since it's easy to get a visa by neighboring countries that is a 16 hour drive away and everything I need is right here, then it fits. It makes perfect sense for me to stay.

I'm going to be part-time with EMW but paid more and I'm planning on finding a teaching job part-time as well. I really think I'm going to enjoy this a lot and the funds will be enough for me to survive in the city. I love what I'm designing for EMW and I will be teaching English, 2 of the things I wanted to do during this trip. Yeah yeah, so I'm not teaching for free to unprivileged orphans in a village, but I'm still helping. I'm supporting the disabilities of Vietnam and teaching English to people who need it. Yes I admit that I'm also doing this for the money, I've been surviving on my savings (that I earned on my own) for the past year and 3 months, who has that kind of money to begin with? Plus, I want to stay in Asia still after my year contract is over...I'm going to need the funds then. This is the perfect time to have a paying job. I have enough experience to deserve this.

I'm glad that my parents are happy for me. My dad sent me a secret parcel to my office. He read one of my old blogs that said I was craving Spicy Nacho Doritos, so he sent me a box of junk food, all flamin' hot flavored, also one tank top, 3-pack teriyaki beef jerky, and a letter from my financial aid reminding me how much I owe (this was 'dropped' in the box by my Mom I know it).

from my dad

I'm leaving next week to Laos to get another 3 month visa. I think I will stay there for a week to travel around, then I would have to go back to Hanoi to finish up a few projects.

That's it guys. I'm going to do this and I'm happy. VISIT ME!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Asian Tourist! And a few other things...

I finally did something touristy, I wore a hat, had a Nikon SLR camera tied around my neck, and followed a man with a flag. I went to Halong Bay with a tour with a Thai family which seems to me that was a family reunion, and one other solo traveler from Korea. Halong Bay was beautiful, but getting there was tiring, I almost forgot how tiring it is to do a day trip. I miss going back to traveling mode.

Halong Bay



My Vietnam visa is almost up, so I'm soaking in my last 2 weeks here. I got plenty of fun and work to finish. A little nervous on getting my design projects done by the 12th, but I think I can.

My mind is changing a lot. For a while I knew I was going to go to middle of Vietnam because I wanted to be back into the country side, no more cities for me! But now that I have a good circle here in Hanoi...I kind of don't want to leave it. I'm making new friends just about everyday, it would be so sad to leave. Ugh! I don't know what to do!

Oh, I'm feelin' boy crazy now, found a good one recently...gonna go with the flow.

Paul! I know you're reading this, come back for che poufias!

Monday, May 10, 2010

I am in Vietnam

It's 8:00 pm and I'm laying on my bed in my underwear like a pancake, under the fan on high. It's hot, humid, and sticky. But I'm not going to complain because this is the beginning of the hot/wet season and the weather will get worse, in all aspects. I finally get up because my eyes start to get sleepy and I should get something eat. I contemplate every night where to have dinner. I can afford to eat at street vendors but I'm really picky which one. I've eaten at many many pho (noodle soup) stalls and there is only one vendor I like. It's out of my way, I would have to walk through a sea of tourists and mingling locals in the busy part of the Old Quarters. But I decide that I really want to eat pho.

I put on my shorts, tanktop, grab my bag and room key, and I set off. I step 4 flights down the building and walk through a 30ft long dark narrow hallway, and the only thing that lights up the hallway is the outside street lights. I pass by a kitchen of a household and I smell home-made cooking - garlic and cooked pork - I think of my mom. I pass by a tattoo shop and there I see the friends of the owners watching t.v., and smoking cigarettes. I reach outside and there are children playing badminton on the sidewalk. I take a right to get me to the main road. I passed by a fruit seller laying on his hammock that is tied between a street sign pole and a light pole, he is a sleep, I can easily take a pineapple without him noticing, but of course I don't.

I say chao (hello) to my usual xe-om drivers that chill out on that corner, lounging on their motorcycles waiting for customers. They always say hi to me, even when I'm across the street walking a different direction, they shout "Hi May!" I wave back and this probably makes their day. I take a left around the corner and I pass by a bakery that I go to almost every night to get a tiny cup of chilled caramel that costs 30 cents. But tonight I don't feel like having any. The bakery owner is sitting on the steps drinking tra dang (bitter ice tea), she sees that I'm coming and she gets up and walks to the back of the dessert display, I quickly tell her "khong, khong" (no, no) she realizes that I was just walking by and didn't want any caramel. When she sits back down on the steps, she says "Hen Gap Lai." For the longest time I had no idea what that meant, I always smiled and said bye. I've been taking Vietnamese classes and realized that she was saying "See you again." Then tonight, I said it back.

After the bakery I make a right, I have to pass by maybe 3 blocks until I make another turn. This street is full of hand-made decor, wooden furnitures, brass statues of buddha, straw baskets and tables. When I cross an intersection I constantly look left, right, left, right, so I don't get hit by moped. I look left, right, left, and then right, I take 2 steps a time, and still look left, and right. I let one moped go by and take 2 steps, let one go again, and when I thought I was in the clear; a moped sniped me from the left, my left hand hurts from the snipe, but I get over it and continue walking. I get to the end and I take a left, at the left corner there is a well-known bia hoi (cheap beer) stall, sitting in tiny plastic chairs for toddlers and chatting over plastic picnic tables are locals, drinking, smoking, and laughing. In another table are 2 foreigners eating cha gio (spring rolls), and the last table are 4 girls drinking tra dang, gossiping, and playing with their babies on their laps.

After that corner I make a quick right and I know I'm getting closer to the center...tourists in cyclos. Cyclos are kind of like rickshaws, but these aren't for convenient transportation purposes, they go really slow, and can only fit 1 person. The whole point of them are for lazy tourists to look around the old quarters instead of walking, so ridiculous. Anyways, on a Sunday night, there is an open flea market on one long steet. Packed of cheap trinkets like sunglasses, baby clothes, hair accessories, and purses. I'm a fast walker and I can't stand girls (usually 3 or 4) that lock on each others arms and walk slowly on the sides of the stalls. They block my path and I get annoyed. I go to one side and I say xin loi (sorry or excuse me). I go pass and I'm almost to my favorite pho vendor, 3 more blocks I think to myself. More dodging mopeds, more refusals to ride on a cyclo, and I turn into a dark street that is usually a fresh food market in the day. At night it's dark, secluded, wet, with scurring rats. I get to the pho vendor. The workers recognize me, they probably know me as 'the girl that looks Vietnamese but isn't', and that likes pho ga without green onion and mint. I sit down without ordering and my bowl of noodle soup with no green sets in front of me. I pick up wooden chopsticks from a tray and check if it has the same width from one end to the other, pick up a spoon, clean it with my fingers, and I dig in.

I am sweating now, the hot soup and the weather is not a good combination, but I still love it. I wipe my forehead after I am done, give the owner $1 and we both say Goodbye. I take a different route to get back home. More dodging mopeds, refusal for cyclos, and refusal for bootleg dvds, I see a bubble tea stall. It's really hot and I thought that maybe I should treat myself to an iced coconut drink with tapioca. I have my 80 cent drink in a to-go cup and I walk to the main round-about of the Old Quarters. It is packed. A lot of people coming from their walks around the Hoan Kiem lake or coming from the open market. Scattered, are local vendors selling boiled corn cobs, sliced pineapple and watermelon, carved coconuts with straws, sweet breaded buns, baguettes, and tiny plums, all sellers wearing cone-shaped strawed hats. I decide to walk on the street because the sidewalk had too many people. I felt a drop on my neck and I thought it was my sweat, then I realized that it was rain. One by one, a drop, drop, drop. Lightening strucked, the sky was clear today, and seeing the lightening above me was so cool, it was huge. I continue walking and glancing at the black sky hoping to see more lightening. Kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, thunder. I walk slower. More drops are falling and I notice some moped drivers stopping to put on their rain coats, people are running past by me, stores are hauling in their street signs inside, food vendors are covering their breads, and products by plastic tarps.

The rain is falling hard now, but I still stay on the street. The rain felt so good in the heat. I think I was in my own element. Everything felt so good, the rain dropping on my face, neck, shoulders, and chest, the air-con wind as I pass by an open door of a hipster clothing store or cell-phone shop. More and more people are frantically running past me to either get home, or under any overhead from being wet. Vietnamese shirt-less men are sitting on their haunches, or on tiny chairs drinking tra dang, smoking cigarettes, watch me as I walk by. I think they're wondering why I have this dreamy look on my face. Stores are closing; they pull down the metal sheath that crashes down to the bottom, and secure it with a padlock. A moped driver comes out of nowhere from a building with his wife on the back, she is holding her baby, she puts a hat over the baby's head, and she holds it tightly before they ride into the busy street. I wanted to do something drastic and cliche; I wanted to stand still, close my eyes, lift my head up, and exhale. My body felt like I was on drugs. I don't do what I want, but I wish I did. I continue walking and I see people under tarps afraid to walk into the rain. They look at me like I'm crazy, like Who is this person walking in the rain, not caring at all? That is exactly who I am. I pass by the corner that had the xe-om drivers and the sleepy fruit seller. The xe-om drivers are gone and the fruit seller was still sleeping on his hammock. I think he woke up from the rain, put a plastic tarp over his fruit and himself between the 2 poles, and went back to sleep, he looked so peaceful. I went through the long dark narrow hallway, the only thing lit are the doors to my guesthouse at the end, the tattoo shop is closed, I pass by the house-hold kitchen window and the mother and daughter are cleaning the dishes. I open the doors and I see one of the female workers watching t.v., she looks at me up and down...smiles and says "mua!" (rain). She did a hand gesture of falling rain and we were both giggling about my drenched hair and tank top.

I climb 4 flights of stairs to my room, turned on a low light, took a cold shower, and laid on my bed. I listen to the heavy rain hit the roofs of the houses below my window, I can see lightening blinking through my curtains, I finish my coconut drink, and I turn on my laptop. I begin to type. I am in Vietnam.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Love Story I

I wasn't ever going to blog about my personal relationships because I wanted that part to be private. I didn't want to display EVERYTHING to public. It was hard enough for me to even have a blog to begin with but I'm sticking to it. Anyways, I thought about it; this travel blog wouldn't be real if I didn't include my relationships, it's all part of my experience.

First off, I'm here for volunteering. It's my #1 priority and no guy is ever going to get in the way. I DO NOT want a serious relationship, I'm not looking for it. But, if I meet someone so amazing, and my feelings are uncontrollable, then that's a whole different love story, I'd go for it.

A tiny story before I begin my real story, last year in India, I was leaving Rishikesh on an hour bus ride to Haridwar to catch an overnight bus out of India to Nepal. I got to the bus stand and the public bus was already leaving, I ran after it and yelled for it to stop. I got on and walked to the back and there I found another sole traveler...a Portuguese. After 10 minutes of talking, instant attraction, I thought to myself hmm...maybe. One great hour of laughing and not wasting a minute had passed, we arrived in Haridwar, I had a couple hours to get to my bus and he had a few for his train to Delhi and Goa onwards. We had little time for tea and I had to leave. Honestly...there was chemistry, we both felt it (I know this because he told me). He kissed me on the cheek and we exchanged emails. Karma baby. If my Indian visa needn't to expire, I would've ran away with him to Goa after knowing him for one hour. See?? I can be romantic!

Ahem...as proof that my work is so important and not here for bootay, I didn't have es-ee-ex in one year. I know (staring at the ground) I know...I know. Don't feel sorry for me just yet, the seal is finally broken, frustration won.

I have been unattached for 3 years because of my dream volunteer trip. More than half of the guys I dated wanted a committed relationship. Results: being a heartbreaker. I have never been dumped before and someone once told me that it will happen one day, everyone will know what it's like to have a broken heart (egh). I admit I have a fear of commitment, maybe from being hurt or falling in love. Either way, my purpose being in Asia is my boyfriend, my relationship, my love.

Now I'll share my actual love story. I met a guy over a month ago for 2 seconds at a music performance. Let's call him Smirnoff. I was with my friend Paul, after the show we were about to leave when Smirnoff came to talk to Paul. They were talking and I was standing near them, I saw him and there was something interesting. The way he spoke and how he glanced at me a few times, was HOT. Then Paul finally introduced us after their conversation, Smirnoff and I shook hands, and didn't take our eyes off each other until I turned around and left. I wanted to know what he was about but I walked away (damn!). I woke up the next morning thinking about him, in my mind I was like 'oh well, never going to see him again.' I told another friend (Hi Cheeky!) that I saw a cute guy the night before, she asked me to describe him and what his name was. It turns out that he's HER EX-BOYFRIEND! Good thing that conversation was all through instant messaging, she didn't get to see my mortified face! I apologized profusely, I felt so dirty, and almost Denise Richards. But she said it was all fine and they are good friends now, she actually messaged him that I was interested and gave him my mobile number. I was back in high school all of a sudden. So he met up with me at a coffee shop where I was working, it was really awkward because it felt like we were forced to meet up. The meeting went fine, but I felt like nothing was there, and as he was leaving, he stuck out his hand for a handshake....a handshake! That hurt my ego.

I didn't talk to him for a week and I was surprised to receive his text before the weekend. We met up and hung out in the afternoon. He's a smart man, very mature, and very interesting. I was intrigued by him, it kept me wanting to talk to him more. We got into a deep conversation about what we wanted in the next few months. I was going to do my own thing and follow where my next job will be. It can be in Laos, middle of Vietnam, or Saigon, wherever. He was going to Danang (middle Vietnam) and continue teaching English. I thought there and then, that we were on the same page; it will never work out, what's the point? (I was not going to adjust my plans for anyone).

We continued to see each other, not much though, he and I were very busy, especially him. Anyhow, I'm a 'go with the flow' type of dater. But Smirnoff...was committed to having me, he moved quickly, physically and mentally (I was not). He told me to run away with him to Danang (whoa). When he said that, I think I did the whole nervous chuckle and fake smile, did he think I was The One for him or something? He kept telling me how beautiful I was, the perfect type of woman for him, etc. It freaked me out. I'm not a girly girl, I think like a guy. I'm always the guy in the relationship, my past 2 serious relationships I was the one that wanted to avoid being serious, the one to be yelled at for not 'appreciating' or showing enough 'affection.' I got bitched at a lot and I was always like 'oh my god, shut up, stop complaining!' I'm not going to change, possibly someday someone can change that (pffff). So yeah, it was too soon for me to hear all that. It was hard for me to believe what he was saying because we didn't know each other. I didn't feel the same, he managed to convince me that he knew me and what I was all about, but I didn't know him.

If he slowed down...a lot, it would have been great. But friday night at dinner I told him that I didn't think I could handle having a partner right now. (I think I said it too bluntly, I know I need to work on the way I speak my words, it always sounds too harsh). He playfully threw his crumbled napkin at me and said he hated me. It was hard looking into his silent smiling eyes. We ended the night (Vietnam's Liberation Holiday) with a walk around a park, watching fireworks, deep conversing, and smooching. I couldn't stop thinking that he would have adjusted his plans for me, he would have moved to wherever I was going. I wasn't ready for that. I thought that if I was able to have a serious relationship, the guy would have to be doing what I was doing (volunteer, expat, etc.), someone who understands and respects my priorities. Smirnoff was doing that, he can teach English wherever he wants, apparently I couldn't hack it. He came over the next morning and brought me a gift. He got me a bottled beer (aww, he knew I liked beer) and a small sketch book, with a coal pencil and eraser. I was surprised by the gift. I rejected him and he gave me gift. Guilty much? Same day, that afternoon, I received a text that he was okay with having a friendship and not continuing any further. I appreciate him taking this maturely and not dramatically. Sometimes I feel like I do want to be with him, but if my feelings or attraction aren't moving deeper, then I'm just wasting both of our times. Or maybe my dreams and goals are preventing me from having a partner. That's okay I guess.

it's okay to be selfish
Chasing Dreams.

'I can't fight this feeling anymore' by Reo Speedwagon is literally playing inside the cafe as I'm writing this, no joke, and no it's not Smirnoff holding up a boombox over his head.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Boom Boom

I hate this term. I hate it. I think I was watching Dateline several years ago about child prostitution in Cambodia. The term Boom Boom is used meaning sex. The term is used here in Vietnam as well.

One of the first facts I learned being here was that men are very flirty. Apparently it's normal. I didn't think it was normal back at my old guesthouse when I saw a peep hole in my bathroom and one of the staff constantly asking me to join him in his room, but really?? When that kid asked me such a question to join him, I stared at this little kid, skinny, baby features, wearing skinny jeans; I just gave him a look that said ' are you serious?' Like...does that really work for him? Has a guest ever said Yes? It's like I was in India all over again.

Anyways...the other day I was waiting for my friends outside a restaurant. A boy stopped near me on his motorbike, he whistled and I continued to look the other way. He whistled some more, no response. He started clapping and shouted 'em oi! em oi! OI!!' I was still staring the other side of the road. He got off his motorbike and I thought 'Oh no, he is not going to come up to me.' He came up to me and asked where I was from. Lazily I said USA. He stared at me and said 'You like to Boom Boom?' Okay, there is no other meaning for this term! I know Boom Boom isn't used for an energy drink, do drugs, or to disco dance, he meant what he friggin' meant. I gave him the look. Every woman has one. The look that gives the Up & Down that translates to puhhhhleeeeeze. He then goes 'ok,' hops on his bike and rides away. The nerve!

Okay, enough of booming and onto a positive note. I recently got a new design project. I'm helping out with an organization called Just Massage. This lady, Thanh, trains women with disabilities (blind or hearing impaired) massage therapy. This is great for the students because many people with disabilities are unable to get a job of any sort. These women are from outside of Hanoi and gets to learn and live free of cost while they're in training. The massage center opens end of this summer, so I have enough time to get the website, and all the corporate branding ready then. AND!! I get free massages as a practice dummy. I had one today by a sweet girl named Lan.

Today I saw a bug that looked like a centipede-millipede whatever, snail-like antennas, and a furry mouth. In my room, NEXT TO MY BED!! I'm not going to sleep well tonight.