Thank You and Thanks

It's been a journey. I wrote a post a while ago about random people sending me messages about my blog and how it had inspired them. I receive about 2 messages a week from people who have came across my blog or have heard from other people. I appreciate the messages saying "I can't wait for your next post" or "Keep it up, you seem so happy."

I always reply back saying "Thanks, I'm glad someone actually reads them!" I really feel like that. Like...wow...people care.

I think I am not a good blogger or even a writer! I never had a journal or diary. I've always used photographs as my memories. I write what I feel and I write when I feel like I need to write. I remembered how awkward it was to write my first few blogs, I didn't know what to say. My brother persuaded me to have a blog when I refused. I consider myself a private person, but I'm glad that I have continued to write and not give up.

I thanked my brother, dad, mom, and close friends for supporting me. And now I want to say thanks to whoever reads this. I appreciate you all following with me on this epic adventure. Although, even without support I'd still be doing this trip.

Anyways, design work for EMW is going well, designing a new website, and can't wait to find out which design we're going to end up using. Teaching English at the Hanoi school is good, the kids LIKE me! The other day I was on my motorbike going to work, another motorbike passed in front of me and a little boy sitting on the back turned his head, removed his face mask, and said "Hi Teacher!" and then ride away. :) It's also nice to run into my students in the city center and meeting their parents, the child would say "This is my teacher," and the parents would have huge smiles, then we would shake hands, and I'll tell them their child is a good student. They love that.

My colleague from work, Huong, invited me to visit her family in Phu Tho. It's a 3 hour train ride from Hanoi. The family was so welcoming that I fell in love with them. It's funny that when you enter a family's house in America, you are still distant to not over-stay your welcome, even when they say "mi casa es su casa." But this family, BAM! You're part of the family. I napped with Huong, her baby, and the grandmother in one bed...I slept well! I loved the grandmother and she made me miss my own grandmothers in America and China. I helped her out of the car one time and walked with her for walking support, she sniffed my hands. I got paranoid and asked Huong why the grandmother was sniffing my hands. Huong said that it was her way of showing affection. Awwwwwww!!!!! She liiiiiiiiiikes meeeeeeee. After that, whenever I saw the grandmother sitting alone, I'd sit next to her and hold her hand. Even though we couldn't communicate to each other (because I barely knew any Vietnamese), we had a bond. That's what I miss, I miss that kind of love. When the grandmother left, she sniffed both sides of my face. DOUBLE SNIFFS! YES!

Grammy on right.

Huong's father seemed to like me a lot too, if I got married (ha!), he wants to come to the wedding. They will come to my house one day.

On another note, I got a new mattress cause the old one had bed bugs. BED BUGS!! Haven't been bitten by bed bugs since sleeping in a shitty hostel in India! Uhhhhhh.

Today I feel...

I'm happy I found this song. It speaks to me. Makes me think of life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8aPyBr-_S0

My misery
And how it lost me all I wanted
Those dogs that love the rain
And chasing trains
The colored birds above there running
In circles round the well
And where it spells
On the wall behind St. Peter's
So bright with cinder gray
And spray paint
'Who the hell can see forever?'

My Folks

"YOU ARE SKINNY." That's what my pops said to me when he saw me picking him up at the Hanoi airport, October 4th. Followed by "A year and a half and 4 days." For me, it didn't feel long. For him, it was. He and I talked about my whole time in Vietnam while we waited for my mom to arrive. (they flew seperately from different countries). At this time beginning of October, it was 1,000 year anniversary of Hanoi itself. So it has been crazy packed in the Old Quarters.

My dad was emotional seeing me and I knew he was going to be like that. Seeing my mom was casual as ever, as if she was a buddy I saw yesterday, "hey" my mom said when we saw each other. We grabbed a taxi and headed to their hotel. It was late in the evening but all the lights of Hanoi was still lit. Been a while since I drove in the Old Quarters late at night, so it was nice to see it all decorated without the normal chaotic traffic.

The next day I met up with them and we walked around the Hoan Kiem Lake. I grabbed a couple cyclos (I can't believe I did it a second time) for my dad, and the other for mom and I. Rode around for 30 minutes and had lunch, and walked around some more around the Old Quarters. Went back to the hotel and took a nap. Dinner came around and I took them to Quan An Ngon. One of my favorite restaurants. My parents ordered 7 dishes! Turned out that my dad wanted me to be full, he thinks I'm starving myself to save money (maybe).

Wednesday, my parents left in the morning to Halong Bay. A 1 night and 2 day trip. I had to stay in Hanoi to work.

Thursday.

Friday, I worked and taught class. I met up with them in the evening before they went to bed. They said they enjoyed their time in Halong Bay and had great food. A few ups and downs with the tour guide and hotel management, but overall they enjoyed it.

Saturday, we had lunch with the owner of the school I am teaching in. The restaurant was a HUGE buffet and once again, I was stuffed. I think I did gain a few pounds that week. Anyways, after lunch we went to ceramic village and silk village. The whole journey should have taken about 3 hours, including shopping time, but because of traffic due to the festival, it took 5 hours! Not to mention, our taxi driver hit someone on a motorbike. The driver flew off his bike. I did not want my parents to see that when I had JUST told them that I bought myself a bike. The taxi driver gave the injured motorbiker 300k dong ($15) and we left. Good thing we were tired, my parents forgot about the accident and just relaxed when we got home.

Sunday, I was supposed to be at my parents hotel at 8am, and take a tour bus to Hoa Luu (Old capital) and Tam Coc. I woke up LATE! I can't remember what I did Saturday night...I woke up at 7:40 am. I brushed my teeth, grabbed my backpack, and drove as fast as I could to their hotel, the streets were so busy at that time! But I made it to my parents hotel on time.

I fell asleep the whole way to Hoa Luu. Hoa Luu was nice but Tam Coc was AMAAAAAZING. Way better than Halong Bay. My mom is silly, she's sooo silly.

Tam Coc

Tam Coc

We got back to Hanoi early evening and I took them to have BBQ. Afterwards, we had dessert called Che, it's just a bunch of different stuff mixed together and crushed ice on top, my parents like that kind of stuff. We headed back to the hotel and I spent the night there with them. My dad had to leave back to Taiwan the next early morning.

Monday morning, my dad left at 7:30am. He told me not to come with him to the airport. I couldn't go anyway cause I had work, but if I didn't, he would force me to stay in Hanoi. My dad is too proud to cry in front of me, I'm the same way. I left my mom at the hotel until lunch time. I picked her up at noon, put her in a taxi and followed me back to my house, 15 minutes away.

Tuesday, I forced my mom to cook for my friends and I. It took us 2 days to shop for all the ingredients, and it was the first time I rode a motorbike with her on the back! It was a lot of fun and she didn't seem scared or paranoid being a passenger. That's good. About 10 people showed up and my mom and I cooked so much food! The left overs lasted a few more days. Anyways, it was a good night of my close friends and it was nice to eat her cooking again. She's the best Chinese chef!

Dinner

Wednesday, I was late coming home in the evening. I had to attend a ceremony where a Vietnamese 'celebrity' was handing over donations to people suffering from disabilities. I had to take photographs. It was crazy traffic and was so worried my mom was waiting for me to eat dinner. I got home quickly and I open my bedroom door, my mom is laying there watching her Chinese DVD's. She did eat without me cause I was too late, but we went to the Old Quarters to go shoe shopping. Ate a little food cause I was hungry and we both shared a fruit smoothie.

Thursday, I came home from work at noon, we had lunch and went to a hair salon. We got our hair washed and had facials. We both relaxed until her taxi came at 4:30 pm, and she left to the airport back to America.

I think my parents liked Vietnam. I also think that my dad understands why I like it here and more acceptable that I'd rather be here than America. I needed my dad to visit me cause it's good for both of us. I like seeing people I care about and I miss a lot of people, and he needed to see his daughter. It was a good trip, many laughs and hugs.

my folks.

sleeping to dream

Spiders, sharks, motor accidents, and losing people I love. Some things I am afraid of. But now I have this annoying habit that seems impossible to get rid of, and I can only worry more if it gets worse...

When I was in Europe for 9 months in 2004, traveling through 15 countries and 160 cities (so imagine how many hostels I've slept in). I developed a sleeping habit of waking up abruptly, kind of scared, took a minute to realize which country I was in and why I was there. I'd wake up and think "where am I?" A minute is a long time to think which country I'm in! I was completely clueless. That habit eventually faded when I went back to America.

The past few months that habit is creeping back again, but more fearful and almost violent. I'd wake up with a big kick (as if I was falling in my dream) in the middle of the night and I would be really really scared. I'll look around my room and still be confused on where I was. I'd think "Am I in India?" Then slowly I would remember that I am in my house, Hanoi, Vietnam. Lately, I'd wake up and think I'm in Los Angeles, that I was sleeping in my old apartment, and this was all a dream. Everything...Nepal, India, Vietnam...the past 1.5 year was all a dream. I was dreaming the best dream I ever had and it never actually happened, I'm in reality. I told my brother this problem via skype and he said "Mei, if this is a dream, then I would be dreaming too."

It's a realization that I am living my dream and I fully understand now how important this trip means to me. How precious time is. I'm going to be 28 years old. How long can I keep this dream going for?