I wanted to get out of Delhi fast and get to Northern India and find volunteer work. Found out that it would take 4 days to travel by bus to Leh (Ladakh region). Fuck that, I was hungover and had one hour of sleep the night before and I wanted something quick. So he recommended me to take a flight to Srinagar and take a bus from there to Leh, which is cheaper and shorter. I took it.
That night I couldn't sleep, it was so fucking hot. HOT I tell you, I probably had 3 hours of sleep that night. Next morning I went on a day trip to Agra, where the Taj Mahal is. Got there, took my tourist picture, and then left back to Delhi. Now...I know you're waiting for me to talk about it...here's where the craziness starts...
I'm in my room watching the Discovery Channel (in Hindi) and the assistant from the tour agency knocks on my door to tell me that Ranbir wants to see me. (the agency is across from the guesthouse) I walked inside and Ranbir goes "Hiiiii, how was your trip to Agra?! Good yeah?" Let me tell you that Ranbir is about 5"5, mid-30's (but looks older), nice belly, really long chest hair, and has a big smile.
"Yeah it was nice, it looked like a postcard."
"Good Good, want a beer? I work late and I don't like work."
"Um nah, I'm really tired."
"Okay, juice!" he tells the boy to get juice from the market. Ranbir gets on his computer and he turns the monitor to face me, I see a list of women's names and age and what they look for in a man. He tells me, "I'm on Yahoo Personals, I have many girls, see? 30 matches out of 50, very good."
"You're on Yahoo Personals?!! Have you met any of these girls yet?"
"Only on the phone, but one time, I called and her mother says hello, then she ask who I am, what job, this, that. Then I say 'oh okay thank you' and I hang up, just like that! Ha!" We get our juice and I gulp it down immediately because I'm not sure how long I wanted to stay at the office.
"Have you seen this Arch yet?" Pointing to one of the over-size posters on the wall, was an arch with the word INDIA etched on the front.
"No, I haven't seen it, only the fort."
"Let's go! Around this time, what time now?" he looks at his watch, "9 o'clock is now, is when couples, families, and friends go to this arch to drink, eat, and just have fun. I'm alone here and I don't want to work, why work? Let's go, for one hour yeah?" After a long thought, I said "Sure, why not?" His assistant had already started Ranbir's car to get the AC goin. We got in and went to a liquor store to buy a couple of beers. We started drinking and he showed me around Delhi, I saw the largest temples, and the business sections.
During our ride, he plays around with his stereo, Hindi was mostly played. Then he was looking through his CD collection and told me he had a very good English CD with great songs. He found it and put it in. First song, was "Singh is King," a Hindi rap song featuring Snoop Doggy Dogg. No joke.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dpQJPvplTk
I knew this song when I was in Nepal, they would play this video all the time on tv. Just to make Ranbir feel more comfortable, I sang with him, and did the Arsenio whoop whoop arm movement. The next song I knew right away just from the first 3 seconds. I laughed so hard. The Macarena. The CD kept skipping and Ranbir was tapping on his stereo with his fingers to make it work, as if he was punishing a toy poodle on the head when it peed on his Kashmir carpet.
Second round of beers, we go to another liquor store, and this time he got peanuts! We drank while driving, and every now and then he would grab my beer and hide it whenever he would cross a toll or if he saw a police car. He got phone calls coming from the agency saying that there were people at the office wanting to do business, so we had to go back. At the agency, the assistant told him that he took care of everything and his customers left. Ranbir said,"OK, everything is fine, we can still party yeah? He then reaches in his pocket and takes out a baggie. I asked what it was, and he said it was charras, natural hash leaves.
"Ooh, I want to try it!"
"Yeah, okay then!" He calls his assistant to make us one out of a cigarette. The assistant came back with the cig and we smoke it. We talked for almost an hour about NOTHING, I can't remember what we talked about. The only thing I remember was telling him that I couldn't feel anything from the charra, but then 20 minutes later, I told him that my face started to tickle. Then he started talking about nothing and mid-way, he said his face was tickling and we started laughing hysterically.
"Want to go see tree?"
"What?"
"Tree, of what we smoke now." I look at the clock and it's about 1am, and next to it shows the temperature. 39C (102 F). "It will only be 15 minutes, we go get, and come back."
"Sure, why not?" We drive about 15 minutes to a deserted area, he finds the plants and grabs them, all of a sudden it was raining hard. He opens my side of the door and screams, "It's raining! MONSOOOON! Come out! Much cooler!"
"No!"
"Why?"
"Mosquitos!!"
"Aiiiyah, mosquitos everywhere!" He closes my door and comes back to the driver seat, he puts the plants in the back seat, and the aroma of charras bloomed.
that's his hand playing with the stereo.
He said he lived near by and asked if I wanted to check out his house, I say 'sure, why not?' Another couple of minutes and we approach a driveway, I see this old man laying down on a cot inside the opened gate garage.
"Opp, that my father." Ranbir says, he immediately goes into reverse very quickly, "I am drinking and smoking, can't let my father see me, nope nope nope. Let's go eat, I hungry now. I know a good Indian restaurant."
"Okay yeah, let's go." We went to the liquor store again to get more beers, and listen to more cheesy music. This time we bumped Venga Boys We like to Party. The CD was skipping again and he says "play play play play play play, pleeeeease play play play, ha...he's sleeping...come on..come on...play play play, play baby." The song resumes and we continue to sing and dance to the restaurant.
When we got there, I was wasted. We eat and went back to the guesthouse and I look at the temperature, and it was 34 (93 F) at 3AM!!! I spent 6 HOURS with this man. 6 hours. We said goodnight and I went to sleep. Results the next morning: hung over and sick, I am not smoking dried leaf hash again.
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