There's a limit to MY love

I had a very deep and intriguing conversation about love with someone I barely know. He spoke about his past experiences and I told him I had none, other than the ones that were superficial. He told me "You're the most guarded person I have ever met."

"Thanks!" I said back.

He referred me a song by Feist "Limit to your love." I know this song but never paid attention to all the verses. He said "I bet more than 5 guys in your life felt this way about you." I went home and looked up the lyrics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36SwnItlU4M

Clouds part
Just to give us a little sun

There’s a limit to your love
Like a waterfall in slow motion
Like a map with no ocean
There’s a limit to your love
Your love, your love, your love

There’s a limit to your care
So carelessly there
Is it truth or dare
There’s a limit to your care

Love love love
This dream of going upstream
Love love love
The trouble that you give me
I know I know I know
That only I can save me
I go I go I go
Right down the road

There’s a limit to your love
Like a waterfall in slow motion
Like a map with no ocean
There’s a limit to your love
Your love your love your love

I can’t read your smile
It should be written on your face
I’m piecing it together
There’s something out of place
Oh

Love love love
This dream of going upstream
Love love love
All the trouble that you give me
I know I know I know
That only I can save me
I go I go I go
Out on the road

Because there is no limit
There’s no limit
No limit no limit no limit
Limit to my love

Humble Visit in Ba Vi

Last week I visited an orphanage in Ba Vi, 2 hours away from center of Hanoi. My colleagues and I went to support them by donating food and clothes. Also to take photographs for East Meets West new website, funding for people with disability in Vietnam.

The orphanage is supported by Three Trees organization and most of the children are orphans, and disabled, the orphanage also supports homeless elders. I'd say there were about 40 children, 25 of them were no older than 5 years old. There were many infants with disabilities. This orphanage definitely needed some funding for the building, it looked cold and damp. The sad thing is (and I feel bad saying it but it's true): the rooms where the infants were kept, smelled like an animal shelter. Everything was very clean but the smell...was unbearable. So it was difficult for me to see the children living in those conditions, but it was all they had. There are diligent people trying so hard to support those children, but more and more, each day or week, a newborn is dropped on their doorstep. So sad what they go through.

Phuong

I befriended a boy named Phuong. He looks 7 years old but because of his disease, he's really 15 years old. He still goes to school and has managed to balance finishing school and being the big brother of the orphanage. He doesn't look Vietnamese, he actually looks like he's from Eastern Russia. Anyways, he's a sweet boy and I trusted him to capture photos with my camera. There was also a 17 year old girl, she only has 3 fingers, and can play the piano. She learned how to play by ear, by using a donated electric piano.

I wanted to volunteer at the orphanage once a week, to do Arts & Crafts with them. But couldn't because I don't have any free time! It was nice to finally visit the orphanage and understand their struggles. I hope through our research and resources, we can help them more financially and emotionally.

I left the place feeling calm and thoughtful, and when I look through the photos in my camera, I can't control myself by smiling or frowning. That's what happens when you see places like those with your own eyes, you feel the happiness from them when you arrive, and you feel their sadness when you leave.

Saying Goodbye gets harder and harder for me.

Moving on...

I'm different from other ordinary women. There are not a lot of women that are like me. I know I'm special (not conceited, just positive), I still think I'm a lucky person. I have to accept obstacles during this adventure.

All I do is move forward. It's the best way. This is actually the happiest I have ever been. Even today. Cause I know nothing so far can lessen my strength.

There is not another ME. No one can find another ME.

Especially my heart.

2010 is over

My Xmas went well, spent the whole day cleaning the house (not fun) and had friends come over for dinner: We jammed on music, drank all the alcohol that existed in the house, and danced all night.

Xmas dinner

On December 27th, I flew out of Hanoi and went to Bangkok, Thailand to meet an old housemate Tom, from England. It was so hot! So good to be in a tropic weather again. The whole day was spent shopping, shopping, shopping. I appreciate Tom handling the girlishness with me while I tried on clothes. That night we went out to the seedy bars of Bangkok; Nana, and a couple of other areas. Let's just say I saw bananas, needles, ping pongs, and other stuff that I couldn't manage a woman can actually shoot out from her pootang.

Next day (hungover), flew out of Bangkok, and into Phuket. I shared a taxi to Phuket town with a french guy named Cedric. He was on vacation visiting a girl friend. After that long ride I got to the hostel, and went out to dinner with my friend from Hanoi, Ashley (also an American English teacher). I went out with her and her friends and then my friends Vikki and Chris, arrived later at the restaurant. Vikki and Chris are friends from England. I met Vikki here in Hanoi and he came to travel with us. Anyways, after dinner we all went out for drinks and had a nice mellow evening.

Next morning, another friend from Hanoi, Vaughan (England) arrived. The whole crew is here! We had lunch and went straight to the pier and caught a ferry to Koh Phi Phi. We got into our beautiful bungalows in the middle of the mountains, and then went to town. We began with BBQ kebabs and buckets. Buckets is a child's sand pail filled with Coke, Sprite, Red Bull, mixed with Vodka and/or Thai Rum that tastes like Whisky. I'm not use to drinking a lot of sweet with hard alcohol, I'm a Beer or Vodka/Tonic person. So yeah, I puked, in a good way, I had fun!

Buckin'

We had a day where we went snorkeling, saw no sharks, cliff jumping, and beach bumming. The weather most of the time was cloudy, but good thing it got sunnier on our last 2 days.

hi!

NYE, we were preparing ourselves: Nap, ate carbs for dinner (to absorb the alcohol), drinking lightly before buckets. Okay, the party started when I found a hot chick for Chris, I met a Finnish girl in the bathroom and brought her over to Chris for eye candy, didn't last long, she was too beautiful for him. Ha! We finished our drinks and headed to the beach, we ordered more drinks and buckets and waited for the countdown. The beach was packed with sexual-raging backpackers, great energy and good music. At the end (5 a.m), I was more sober than anyone else, I took care of drunk Chris and brought him back to our bungalow safely.

Overall, it was a chill week for me. I wanted to do absolutely nothing, other than shopping and eating everything that was in front of me! Now I'm back to bitter cold Hanoi and I must say that I'm glad to be back. I was okay with having a short time in Thailand, because it was a vacation from my vacation. It's all good. Let's hope 2011 will be another good year for me.

Christmas in Vietnam

Not sure what I will do for Christmas here in Hanoi. I'm not a Christmas person anymore, but doesn't matter, all I know is that this years Christmas will be WAY better than last years Christmas in Bangladesh! (edited)

Every Tuesday, my class of 8-9 year olds gather upstairs to our classroom and wait while I'm downstairs preparing lessons. Whenever I'd walk up the stairs I could hear them whisper and giggle, as soon as I'd reach to the classroom the lights would be off, I'd open the door in complete darkness and they'd all scream and roar, trying to scare me. Every week they do this.

Yesterday, I brought my camcorder to capture it this time. Routinely, I'd walk up the stairs with my camera ready, I heard the whispers and giggles, and I got to the door. The lights were off but then flickered back on. I opened the door and...well check it out.

awwwwww, they totally surprised me.

Merry Christmas everyone! And Happy New year, miss you all!

Someday...

I will disappear and chill on a mountain top. No teaching, no work, no art, just me. Thinking about what else to accomplish in my life.

Thanks Brian.

They're all growns up

I've been teaching English at E-Talents for about 5 months. I have already noticed my 8 year- old students growing. I swear that they have all grown at least 1 or 2 inches this summer, or maybe they got fatter, can't tell. But they look so different! Feels like I gave birth to them or something, when I look at them writing in their workbooks, I get all emotional and happy watching them grow and learning. *gush*

My other classes are the toughest, they're way too talkative, but good kids. They take out so much energy from me that I'm extremely exhausted when the day is over.

Another teacher substituted for one of my classes, the 16 year olds. I told her before that she needed to separate the boys and girls seating arrangements, or else they won't pay attention and talk the whole time. Apparently the kids took full advantage that she was a substitute and didn't listen to her. They would NEVER disobey me if I was there. I try hard to be the cool teacher, but when I need to be strict, I am STRICT. Really, it's all about repeating yourself slowly and using intense eye contact. If a boy refuses to move chairs cause he's distracting other students, I'd say "MOOOOOVE." He quickly moves without hesitation. I think to myself "Hah! Yeah, you better." It even works when I'm 5 meters away. Power in the eyes!

The substitute also mentioned that a boy forgot his workbook after class, and when she was searching for its name written inside, she saw scribbles that said "I ♥ Stephania." That could only be me. We still don't know who the owner of the workbook is but I can guess which kid it might be. One boy in particular, Tung. On my first day, I walked into class, he looked at me and said "Oh my god," all the kids were laughing. Since then he'd dress nicer each week; a tie, a collared shirt, or smooth hair. Good thing I don't know all the slangs in Vietnamese, cause most of the time during class, a boy would mutter something, the whole class laughs and looks at me if I understood. Yeah, good thing I don't know what they're saying.

I had to give up my volunteer teaching at the high school in Thact That district. I just don't have any time and energy to travel there. I'm already so busy with teaching English in Hanoi, working at the NGO, and freelance design. Sometimes I can't believe how much work I've agreed to do, thinking that I can actually do them. I feel very guilty because my time there was rewarding, but it was my lowest priority, the school was too far away and during an inconvenient schedule. Either way, I made a positive choice to focus on what I'm doing now; I'm saving money and building more experience.

I can't believe it's December already, time goes by quick. Soon it will be my 9th month in Vietnam. Anyways, Thailand for New Years 2011!! It's all about the beach, tanning, shopping, and relaxing. I had a busy year, I deserve this.