Love Story I

I wasn't ever going to blog about my personal relationships because I wanted that part to be private. I didn't want to display EVERYTHING to public. It was hard enough for me to even have a blog to begin with but I'm sticking to it. Anyways, I thought about it; this travel blog wouldn't be real if I didn't include my relationships, it's all part of my experience.

First off, I'm here for volunteering. It's my #1 priority and no guy is ever going to get in the way. I DO NOT want a serious relationship, I'm not looking for it. But, if I meet someone so amazing, and my feelings are uncontrollable, then that's a whole different love story, I'd go for it.

A tiny story before I begin my real story, last year in India, I was leaving Rishikesh on an hour bus ride to Haridwar to catch an overnight bus out of India to Nepal. I got to the bus stand and the public bus was already leaving, I ran after it and yelled for it to stop. I got on and walked to the back and there I found another sole traveler...a Portuguese. After 10 minutes of talking, instant attraction, I thought to myself hmm...maybe. One great hour of laughing and not wasting a minute had passed, we arrived in Haridwar, I had a couple hours to get to my bus and he had a few for his train to Delhi and Goa onwards. We had little time for tea and I had to leave. Honestly...there was chemistry, we both felt it (I know this because he told me). He kissed me on the cheek and we exchanged emails. Karma baby. If my Indian visa needn't to expire, I would've ran away with him to Goa after knowing him for one hour. See?? I can be romantic!

Ahem...as proof that my work is so important and not here for bootay, I didn't have es-ee-ex in one year. I know (staring at the ground) I know...I know. Don't feel sorry for me just yet, the seal is finally broken, frustration won.

I have been unattached for 3 years because of my dream volunteer trip. More than half of the guys I dated wanted a committed relationship. Results: being a heartbreaker. I have never been dumped before and someone once told me that it will happen one day, everyone will know what it's like to have a broken heart (egh). I admit I have a fear of commitment, maybe from being hurt or falling in love. Either way, my purpose being in Asia is my boyfriend, my relationship, my love.

Now I'll share my actual love story. I met a guy over a month ago for 2 seconds at a music performance. Let's call him Smirnoff. I was with my friend Paul, after the show we were about to leave when Smirnoff came to talk to Paul. They were talking and I was standing near them, I saw him and there was something interesting. The way he spoke and how he glanced at me a few times, was HOT. Then Paul finally introduced us after their conversation, Smirnoff and I shook hands, and didn't take our eyes off each other until I turned around and left. I wanted to know what he was about but I walked away (damn!). I woke up the next morning thinking about him, in my mind I was like 'oh well, never going to see him again.' I told another friend (Hi Cheeky!) that I saw a cute guy the night before, she asked me to describe him and what his name was. It turns out that he's HER EX-BOYFRIEND! Good thing that conversation was all through instant messaging, she didn't get to see my mortified face! I apologized profusely, I felt so dirty, and almost Denise Richards. But she said it was all fine and they are good friends now, she actually messaged him that I was interested and gave him my mobile number. I was back in high school all of a sudden. So he met up with me at a coffee shop where I was working, it was really awkward because it felt like we were forced to meet up. The meeting went fine, but I felt like nothing was there, and as he was leaving, he stuck out his hand for a handshake....a handshake! That hurt my ego.

I didn't talk to him for a week and I was surprised to receive his text before the weekend. We met up and hung out in the afternoon. He's a smart man, very mature, and very interesting. I was intrigued by him, it kept me wanting to talk to him more. We got into a deep conversation about what we wanted in the next few months. I was going to do my own thing and follow where my next job will be. It can be in Laos, middle of Vietnam, or Saigon, wherever. He was going to Danang (middle Vietnam) and continue teaching English. I thought there and then, that we were on the same page; it will never work out, what's the point? (I was not going to adjust my plans for anyone).

We continued to see each other, not much though, he and I were very busy, especially him. Anyhow, I'm a 'go with the flow' type of dater. But Smirnoff...was committed to having me, he moved quickly, physically and mentally (I was not). He told me to run away with him to Danang (whoa). When he said that, I think I did the whole nervous chuckle and fake smile, did he think I was The One for him or something? He kept telling me how beautiful I was, the perfect type of woman for him, etc. It freaked me out. I'm not a girly girl, I think like a guy. I'm always the guy in the relationship, my past 2 serious relationships I was the one that wanted to avoid being serious, the one to be yelled at for not 'appreciating' or showing enough 'affection.' I got bitched at a lot and I was always like 'oh my god, shut up, stop complaining!' I'm not going to change, possibly someday someone can change that (pffff). So yeah, it was too soon for me to hear all that. It was hard for me to believe what he was saying because we didn't know each other. I didn't feel the same, he managed to convince me that he knew me and what I was all about, but I didn't know him.

If he slowed down...a lot, it would have been great. But friday night at dinner I told him that I didn't think I could handle having a partner right now. (I think I said it too bluntly, I know I need to work on the way I speak my words, it always sounds too harsh). He playfully threw his crumbled napkin at me and said he hated me. It was hard looking into his silent smiling eyes. We ended the night (Vietnam's Liberation Holiday) with a walk around a park, watching fireworks, deep conversing, and smooching. I couldn't stop thinking that he would have adjusted his plans for me, he would have moved to wherever I was going. I wasn't ready for that. I thought that if I was able to have a serious relationship, the guy would have to be doing what I was doing (volunteer, expat, etc.), someone who understands and respects my priorities. Smirnoff was doing that, he can teach English wherever he wants, apparently I couldn't hack it. He came over the next morning and brought me a gift. He got me a bottled beer (aww, he knew I liked beer) and a small sketch book, with a coal pencil and eraser. I was surprised by the gift. I rejected him and he gave me gift. Guilty much? Same day, that afternoon, I received a text that he was okay with having a friendship and not continuing any further. I appreciate him taking this maturely and not dramatically. Sometimes I feel like I do want to be with him, but if my feelings or attraction aren't moving deeper, then I'm just wasting both of our times. Or maybe my dreams and goals are preventing me from having a partner. That's okay I guess.

Chasing Dreams.

'I can't fight this feeling anymore' by Reo Speedwagon is literally playing inside the cafe as I'm writing this, no joke, and no it's not Smirnoff holding up a boombox over his head.

Boom Boom

I hate this term. I hate it. I think I was watching Dateline several years ago about child prostitution in Cambodia. The term Boom Boom is used meaning sex. The term is used here in Vietnam as well.

One of the first facts I learned being here was that men are very flirty. Apparently it's normal. I didn't think it was normal back at my old guesthouse when I saw a peep hole in my bathroom and one of the staff constantly asking me to join him in his room, but really?? When that kid asked me such a question to join him, I stared at this little kid, skinny, baby features, wearing skinny jeans; I just gave him a look that said ' are you serious?' Like...does that really work for him? Has a guest ever said Yes? It's like I was in India all over again.

Anyways...the other day I was waiting for my friends outside a restaurant. A boy stopped near me on his motorbike, he whistled and I continued to look the other way. He whistled some more, no response. He started clapping and shouted 'em oi! em oi! OI!!' I was still staring the other side of the road. He got off his motorbike and I thought 'Oh no, he is not going to come up to me.' He came up to me and asked where I was from. Lazily I said USA. He stared at me and said 'You like to Boom Boom?' Okay, there is no other meaning for this term! I know Boom Boom isn't used for an energy drink, do drugs, or to disco dance, he meant what he friggin' meant. I gave him the look. Every woman has one. The look that gives the Up & Down that translates to puhhhhleeeeeze. He then goes 'ok,' hops on his bike and rides away. The nerve!

Okay, enough of booming and onto a positive note. I recently got a new design project. I'm helping out with an organization called Just Massage. This lady, Thanh, trains women with disabilities (blind or hearing impaired) massage therapy. This is great for the students because many people with disabilities are unable to get a job of any sort. These women are from outside of Hanoi and gets to learn and live free of cost while they're in training. The massage center opens end of this summer, so I have enough time to get the website, and all the corporate branding ready then. AND!! I get free massages as a practice dummy. I had one today by a sweet girl named Lan.

Today I saw a bug that looked like a centipede-millipede whatever, snail-like antennas, and a furry mouth. In my room, NEXT TO MY BED!! I'm not going to sleep well tonight.

Tattoo #4

Heehahaheeheehaha...uh...so tattoo #4. This was very spontaneous. But most of you know that I am spontaneous. I wrote it myself and I think I got it because the tattooist charged me $5 for being a bad ass chick. It didn't hurt, it tickled. yup.

:)

I went with my friend Lan Anh. She got some cute birds flying around her bicep. I drew some birds for her if she needed some inspiration, I drew them the way I imagined them to be, chubby fish birds. But I'm glad she didn't tattoo the birds I drew, I don't think I can live knowing someone actually tattooed something I created. I think graphic artists and tattoo artists are 2 different forms. Still cute though. I like them.

tweet, tweet, tweet.

:)

The past week, work has been slow. So I've been trying to find new work to do while the company is on downtime. (Maybe that's why I got the tattoo?) Anyways, I've started a new blog post about helping volunteers look for legit organizations from the internet in South East Asia. In a couple days I will post it on all travel/job sites, hopefully this can help other people like me find a good volunteer job instead of being ripped off by money-grubbing NGO's. I know, I'm so nice.

Speaking of 'nice.' I'm writing this blog post on my new Vaio laptop. Stephaney got it for MEEEE. Also thanks to Zac and Sal for adding tons of new music on it. Best gift ever, what does YOUR best friend give you??

P.S. I'm craving Spicy Nacho Doritos.

Living in Hanoi, Vietnam

Man, it really feels like I'm back in L.A., it's cool...but not that cool, but still cool. I'm working in a huge NGO, I have my own xe-om (motorbike taxi) drivers, happy hour after work, attending music/art shows, and then dating?? Been a while, but I still got game, I think it's the tattoos.

Past few weeks I have been designing all the signage for an exhibition campaign in Ho Chi Minh City (South Vietnam, I like calling it Saigon), incase you forgot, I am living in Hanoi (North Vietnam). Flew out of Hanoi with two co-workers to Saigon for five days preparing the campaign. This campaign is to help promote awareness and raise funds for the disabilities in Vietnam. We feature 10 organizations from around Vietnam. We had celebrities, ambassadors, and sponsors coming in, so it was a huge success. The communications team seemed happy with the outcome, and with me. As a result, it was good for me to network on finding volunteer opportunities when I come back. Good hook-ups. These people can give me contacts all over Vietnam.

Face for Handicap International Organization

East Meets West Booth

This helped plan my future in Vietnam but also my career; I had an exhibition class in art college, but never got to do it professionally. So I learned a lot, worked hard, and I got to see my art displayed. I'll admit I wish I could have change the whole art that was already chosen by their old designer, oh well...I think I made it look better than before. All in all, we (Chau, Lan Anh, and I) worked our asses off, little sleep, ate food late in the night, worked so hard to the point where we were talking stupid.

Finishing up Saigon; flight delayed again! Went to the War Museum, ate at the best sushi bar in the city, went to Wrap 'n Roll for the first time, attended an Art Talk featuring Tuan Andrew Nguyen, had a French dinner with French people I didn't speak to, noticed on FB status's that Coachella was this weekend...as a replacement I went to MTV Exit concert featuring our organization, music sucked! Who the hell is this American band The Click 5??

What I learned so far in Hanoi:
-A lot of Vietnamese people here think they're awesome and important than you, and try really hard to show who's a better person in everything (mainly alcohol tolerance and fashion)...sounds like L.A.
-If you have an argument with a local trying to rip you off, it's pretty much a 'who can yell the loudest?' situation. So 'hanoi-ing.' Thanks bro.
-Hanoi is a big city, but small, seems as though all the expats know all the other expats. And those expats know a lot of cool Vietnamese people that are also friends with the other expats. So it's one big circle.
-No one knows English and I'm having a hard time learning it.
-They all eat with their mouths open...do not give a Vietnamese person chewing gum (smacking, sloppy sounds...pet peeve).
-This is the first country where I eat street food everyday and have not been to 1 western restaurant yet.

Soon I will write a blog about volunteering in Vietnam. Because it was so hard to find a legit organization that doesn't rip volunteers off!! For example, I visited a temple that helps raise children with disabilities that have been abandoned by their parents. The organization that funds for this is a huge company with plenty of volunteers all the time. But...the volunteer has to pay $270.00 a month (basic food/dorm accommodation). On my own, I spent $230 this month, and that's including drinking nights, dinners, splurges, transportation, and my own room. Yeah, that's what I mean by rip-off. I'm going to keep helping the world and other people that wants to do the same.

-sigh- I love what I'm doing.

One Year Anniversary

I've fallen in love, with Vietnam. Ha! You thought I meant a man huh? Shaaaaa, like that will ever happen. Anyways, Happy Birthday Daddy!!!!! OK, back to original note, one year...since I left home. It's been a year, and I'm in my 3rd country.

Before I left the US, I told everyone that I would be gone for about a year; 3 months Nepal, 3 months Vietnam, 3 months Laos, 3 months Cambodia=1 year. Look at what happened; 5 months Nepal, 7 months India (India wasn't in the plan!) and I'm lovin' Vietnam. I want to stay here for maybe 6 months, there are a lot of opportunities here, and lots of great food.

When I arrived in Vietnam, it was like culture shock. I mean, I traveled to South East Asia before, and I knew what to expect. But I think being in India/Nepal/Bangladesh for a year, with the same kind of culture and atmosphere, the change was difficult to adjust. I was also extremely tired, I had an early flight to Hanoi from the Bangkok airport so I slept there...in the airport, but the lights were too damn bright to sleep. The first day was raining, hot, foggy, and humid. I had never seen so many mopeds in my life. Oh, and they're Asian; asian asian. I blend.

Currently I'm volunteering for East Meets West Foundation, I am the "Creative Consultant and Graphic Designer" volunteer. This foundation raises money for people with disabilities, 11% of the Vietnamese population are disabled. This is cool because now I get to work on my professional experience, which I haven't done in a while.

Here's my budget plan: $5/room. $3/food. So $8 a day. I live on pho, egg rolls, and kebabs, the cheapest food here, and I'm allowed to splurge one day a week (I found a Pinkberry-ish frozen yogurt shop). However, if I travel to work on a xe om (motorbike taxi) then that's $2/roundtrip. So then I spend less on food, I would eat plain pho, or a pastry. Sounds poor, but I am poor. Not sure how long I can stay here, Hanoi is pretty expensive, compared to India. I think on my second part of Vietnam I will travel to the country side and find an orphanage (I hope there isn't frozen yogurt there). BUT!! I can have a beer in the afternoon, like a snack. It costs $1, it fits in my budget.

Alright kids, my crazy adventure continues. Miss you all. By the way, which one of you unemployed are going to visit me in South East Asia? I have a few hopefuls planning already.

India...Over it.

I'm so happy to leave. I don't think I can handle India for another 4 months. Not happy to leave like...leaving Bangladesh. Bangladesh I pretty much stuck up my middle finger towards the country and shouted "Fuck You Bangladesh, Fuck YOU!" I don't feel that way for India. I had good and bad times, I'm still glad I went to all the places I wanted to visit, met great Indians, and had valuable experiences. But it isn't my country. 6.5 months is enough.

After my family left, I went straight to Jaisalmer, Rajasthan. I rode on a camel, a camel! Not a smooth ride though, my butt hurt so much afterwards, I even got blisters on my buttocks. Slept on the sand in the Ganga desert, stared at the countless stars, and saw 3 yellow (very poisonous) scorpions under my pillow.

camel trek

Jodhpur, nice place, didn't stay too long. Udaipur, LOVED IT. There's something relaxing and chill about this city, I like the small streets guiding to different directions and finding yourself on some ghat to the lake. In Bundi now, and I have about 2 days until my flight to Bangkok, and then Hanoi Vietnam.

One of the biggest quirks of India is the sexual and racial harassment I receive. The whole "Hey Japan girl, come here!" "Ooh, sexy Korean" "Hi, I loooooooooove you." "Mushi Mushi!" "Chingo!" Not to mention, the accidental 'boob bumps,' the 'passerby butt grabs' and them staring directly at my tits and ass. Oh my god, I can't stand it. For the longest time I had the patience to ignore them, but the past 2 months I have been either cussing them out (most popular), punching them in the chest (love this one) or lecturing them that to some foreigners it can be offensive. Most of their responses are like "You are all the same, Japan, Korean, same." This pissed me off, but I said in return "Same same, but different." So, first off: I'm Chinese. Thanks. I wished that I could walk around with a mask. Even if I wear non-skinny jeans, a sweatshirt with my hoodie pulled over, I still get catcalls. I get hassled 20 times a day, everyday. By now, I'm sick of it. What I like about other Asian countries like Nepal, or around South East Asia; is that I look like them, I can walk around without being noticed.

I know I know, it isn't their fault. I am from America, where a lot of us are sensitive to racial issues, and TRY to be politically correct. However, it can still ruin my experience. I've grown to deal with it for 4 months, but now I just don't have any left.

Things I will always hate about India:
-Blasting horrible Hindi music from their cell phones, sometimes 10 phones at once. Somehow, they like to play them on overnight trains and buses at 3am. "Noise Pollution"
-The honking, this is the worst I've heard in my experience in traveling. Especially those motorbike jerks that hold the horn down the entire time.
-Men scratching their balls in front of my face on the bus.
-When I want to get away from India, but realize that I can't and am still here.

Things I will always love about India:
-Their faith, seeing the pilgrims devote their spirits in the ghats, or temples. Watching them touch cows with their fingers and then onto their foreheads. Numerous foreheads with tikka dots.
-Walking through non-touristy villages and families offering me chai.
-Bargaining with rick-shaw drivers for 5 minutes and having them yell out "Why like this?"
-All the friendly people I meet on trains.
-Women wearing saris.
-Not being able to use the head-waggle, it grows on you!
-The curiosity and interest people have of where I come from.

India has truly been the most toughest country to travel in and I will never forget it.

Fambam in India

It went by too quickly. It felt like I just saw my brother for the first time coming out of the train station yesterday. When I did see him when he came to Goa, I was emotionally overjoyed. I've been having a hard time saying Goodbyes and seeing my brother Brian, the closest human being to me, was one of my best moments. That definitely prepared me well before seeing my mother short time later. The past 2 weeks were wonderful, good times, classic one-liners from my mom, and hilarious videos to post.

Goa...is alright. It isn't 'da bomb!' It was relaxing and kind of romantic. But I did want to go there for the Headphone Party, I heard so much about it traveling. Basically, you go to a club and they give you wireless headphones with 3 LED stations on the sides, and you can click to choose which of the 3 DJ's you want to hear. You can also see what other people were hearing by seeing the color of the light on the headphones. I think they do this so people can dance till 4am without closing the club down cause of the loud music? Who cares, brilliant idea, great music. However...there was a terrorist attack; a bomb went off in a German Bakery in Pune, 13 hours north of where we were. The club had to close at 12 am. My brother and I were already drunk when we got there at 10:30 pm!! So the party was fun while it lasted.

Goa headphone party

Delhi - Brian and I got to our hotel in Connaught Place, way too expensive but I didn't know where else to take my mom. I wanted her to feel comfortable on her first day in India. I knew she wouldn't freak out, cause I think China and India is pretty much the same, but India with Indians. Anyways, she did well throughout the whole trip, but I feel like she didn't like it much. She liked the Taj Mahal, she liked Pushkar, and was very happy when she bought 40 mini door knobs for less than $10. I think that was all of her highlights of India. And seeing of me of course.

mommy

Jaipur - Not so great, didn't like it at all. It was actually the most aggressive place I've ever been to in India. All the touts were crazy...all the rickshaw drivers following us for a ride, it's like 'No! I don't want a rickshaw! I want to walk!' or 'I do not want a peacock feather fan!' or 'I don't want a Pashmina!' Not to mention I am EXTREMELY protective over my mother, but she handled herself well with the aggressiveness. One night walking 2 blocks to a restaurant, about a fazillion rickshaw drivers stopped us, she held on to my brothers arm and said "Are we rabbits in the jungle?" Yes mom...we are, we are rabbits in the jungle, they're going to eat us alive!

Top 10 highlights of the past 2 weeks:
1. Huge lizard in the toilet
2. Brother fainting...you can't hydrate with alcohol!
3. Motor Bike Day "Brian! You have to use your horn!"
4. Great Wall of China sand castle
5. Dirty smelly sock fight with mom
6. Discovering mom will only eat banana pancakes than Indian food
7. The mysterious stolen 20 Thai Bhat from our room
8. Mom getting a really bad henna tattoo
9. I was worried about my bladder infection at the hospital while Mom and Brian were happy to buy 6 prescription glasses for $6 each.
10. Mom letting Brian and I have a Bhang Tea.

Top 10 lines from my mom:
1. "How much does it cost? 10 pesos?"
2. "But I haven't seen any monkeys." - she thought Jaipurs' City Palace was the Monkey Temple
3. "Wow, there's a lot of dogs here too."
4. "This is the NICE city of Delhi?" While walking around Connaught Place
5. "You know, Indians look like Mexicans." while watching t.v.
6. "You look Indian now Mei!" when she saw me at the airport with my dark tan.
7. "If you give me a bad massage, I will kick you." she said to the massagist in Pushkar
8. "I liked to bite your butt when you were little, it looked like...a tiny...cookie."
9. "Where is Brian? I hope he didn't pass out somewhere." Moments after Brian and I taking Bhang Tea.
10. "You're going to look like me!" After I told her she's starting to look like Grandma.