chasing endless days

New Blog

2011-08-02T03:21:00.001+07:00

Please visit my new blog, link below.

http://chasingendlessdays.com/

Every post I have written in the past couple of years are archived in the new site.

Thanks for visiting.

LustRate

2011-06-19T00:16:00.000+07:00

Fat rain pours every afternoon and evening.

Pouring POURING.

For 2 hours.

Lightening blinks and loud thunder strikes.

MONSOON!

I play songs that fit the mood of rain.

Iron & Wine.

I hate wearing a rain poncho while driving.

I hate it when the bottom of my jeans are wet.

I hate it that I still feel.

But I love being at home
in Vietnam
listening to rain songs.

hiatus

2011-05-06T04:07:00.002+07:00

I'm taking a break from my blog. For two years I have updated about my experiences and personal life. I want to disappear for a little while. I won't abandon this blog. I'm going through a transition; mentally and physically. I need to go back to my old-self, being reserved and exclusive to myself.

I'll come back.

Pops

2011-04-27T23:53:00.002+07:00

Like father like daughter. We like beer. Probably the only thing that brings us together. This is my dad's second visit in Vietnam. He was in Taiwan for 2 weeks and decided to stop by and visit.

yum, beer

I was trying to obtain a work visa for a while, it was supposed to take 2 weeks but it took almost 4. I faxed Jet Star airlines my documents from the visa office claiming they had my passport and that I needed to go to Da Nang, the representatives I spoke to said it was alright and would add a note in the system about my documents and its approval. I got to the airport and bam...no go, no note in the system, and the airport officials had to follow the regulations that no foreigner could travel without a passport or a letter from their own country or Vietnam's embassy. Shit. So I lost my flight and left my dad to go to Da Nang by himself and I was really worried. My dad isn't a traveler, he's a follower, he likes tours and activities, and transport planned for him. But he was brave enough and said that he'd be alright going on his own, however I wanted to spend time with him because he was in Vietnam for 7 days.

I was pissed off, stressed out, and worried for my dad. Oh and what do you know?! I received my passport that day! Ughhhh. I called Jet Star and told them I got my passport back and they were very nice to give me a new flight the next day by only paying $10 because they felt sorry for me. That was nice. So I got to see my dad in Hue for a night.

I didn't like Hue that much but Hoi An was beautiful and charming as usual. I liked it the first time I went and was glad to be back. My dad liked Hoi An as well.

Hoi An

Back to Hanoi, took my dad around to eat at my favorite places and had a sweet small going away dinner at Quan An Ngon with my close friends: Quang, John, Vikki, and Chris. My dad kept feeding us until we died. We ordered 2 grilled Mackerels, 2 grilled beef, 2 rolls, 2 squids, 2 fried rice, 2 sticky rice bowls, and 1 salad, and about 10 bottles of beer. I think my dad thought we were poor and weren't getting enough food, so he was pushing and pushing our indigestion limits. Of course, he paid for the dinner, typical asian dad. Afterwards, we went to Bia Hoi corner. My dad was shocked, he thought we were going to a bar, but he liked it. It was cool to see my dad at Bia Hoi, crackin' jokes about me. I have the coolest asian dad...and mom. (I didn't forget about you mama!)

Bia Hoi

rice wine and the woods

2011-04-13T22:51:00.000+07:00

Had a four day weekend and went to the woods with several friends. It's been awhile since the weather warmed up for more than 2 days. Our whole weekend was sunny and hot, and a great time to get a breath of fresh cool air.

I went to Cuc Phuong, a few hours from Hanoi. It's a national park and was way expensive! If I knew it would cost so much to stay in a room I'd be camping! However, there were too many unusual biting insects. Not to mention, I saw the biggest spider in my life...in real life.

The first evening was a blur of consumed rice wine and karaoke, good times. Second night was 4 hours of Charades. End of the whole weekend...a bundle of inside jokes that will stay funny for a long time.

2 years

2011-03-30T13:23:00.004+07:00

3 tattoos, 1 nose piercing, 36 used books, 7 countries, 51 provinces, and 2 years ago; I left America, I haven't visited once. In case you ask, I don't know when I will come back. The world is my home now. I was a former L.A. girl that glammed up for Hollywood clubs and go to dive bars 4 times a week. Now, I'm a "hippie-traveler chick" that doesn't wear make up and wears the same t-shirt and jeans for 2 years, but still going to bars 4 times a week. I don't think I changed, I'm still me. I have the same heart and personality since I left America, the only thing different is my style.

Things are going well here in Hanoi. Design at EMW isn't as busy as last year, but it's good for me to work on other projects. I really need to start saving money, so I got to go back to limiting my times going out. Also sticking to beer, no Vodka/Tonics or Rum/Coke. I might actually be able to remember my weekends now.

I'm definitely proud of myself and what I have achieved so far. I had many ups and downs but it's all part of the experience, and I will always appreciate those experiences. Never in my life did I think that I would ever climb the Himalaya's, see the Dalai Lama, swim in the Arabian sea, and live in Vietnam.

Gathered a list of things I haven't done in 2 years:

- worn high-heels
- gotten a professional hair cut, I've been cutting my own hair
- listening to the same songs on my ipod from 2009.
- haven't done any sort of exercise or cardio work out.
- wearing the same converse chucks
- drank a New Castle draft beer
- had a bubble bath
- have seen a Laker game on television
- ate jello

Me Then. March 30th, 2009

Me Now. March 28th, 2011

(click on photo for full view)

The Wangs

2011-03-09T17:35:00.001+07:00

The past week has been intense and tiring. First off: I changed my office schedule into the mornings, meaning I woke up at 7:00 am and finish at 12 pm. (Not a morning person) Just so I can have the rest of the day with my older brother, Brian. He arrived last Tuesday and he leaves tonight.

Last Tuesday, he walked into my office while I was in the bathroom. I could hear him asking where I was. Later I took him to grab a bite to eat because he had a long journey to get to Hanoi, 42 hours from Washington D.C. That day I called up some unemployed friends to meet us at bia hoi in the Old Quarters. A few friends came by and we just chilled, drank beer, ate peanuts, and people-watch. He asked me if this was what I normally do...chilling, yeah pretty much. Afterwards, he attended my Tuesday English teaching class, my class loved him, and it was a lot of fun. I told my students a story about how he used to scare me when I was young, by being the Sandman. Check it out below.

I rode around Hanoi with him on my motorbike and he was a bit nervous, basically HOW I drive, passing fast trucks and crossing roads with a billion other motorbikes. I told him that I get road rage and scream at people, he told me that it isn't good to have road rage and that I should be patient and get over it, I'm like Yeah Yeah Yeah.

He spent most of the days taking my motorbike around the city while I worked in the morning, then I'd meet up with him at my friends house back in Hai Ba Trung. It was difficult finding good street food for him because he's a vegetarian. I warned him before he came that it would be difficult finding vegetarian street food and I asked if he can suffer for a week eating some meat, he agreed. Towards the end of the week he was eating beef and chicken.

Brian wanted to get his wisdom teeth pulled because the operation was cheaper in Vietnam ($100 for 2 taken out) than USA. We were trying to find the dental office on this one particular street that I knew well, but all the address numbers were completely random, it would go...101, 102, 103, 45, 44, 43, 435, 436, 437, 438, 5, 4, 3. What the hell?! I hate streets like that. We went back and forth and finally when I knew where it was, we got a flat tire and had to walk my bike back to the end of the road. Luckily we were near my office and I knew of a garage around it. While he was getting teeth taken out, I got a new tire tube, a bike wash, and oil change.

Brian, Vikki, and I went to Halong Bay for the weekend. It was sooo tiring. The tours were completely unorganized and confusing, I don't understand how the tour guides manage all the tourists. Anyway...when we got to the tour agency to leave, the driver asked if we brought our passports. 2 of us didn't have them because the agent didn't tell me that we needed them when I bought the tickets, and also mine was at the embassy for a visa extension. The driver gave a facial expression that we might not be able to go on the trip, but of course...me being American, I wasn't going to take a NO as an answer. I basically went into the bus and sat down and refused to move unless we were on our way to Halong Bay. The agent said that it was alright and let us go.

Weather sucked, wet, drizzly, and chilly. I liked how the mist made the islands mysterious. But it was uncomfortable because everything felt damp, our clothes, seats, and our feet. Eh, it's Vietnam.

Overall, Brian got to meet my closest friends. He experienced my Hanoi life. It was all about food, coffee, beer, and friends. To finish it off, today he drove around while I was the passenger, after a few seconds he was already getting frustrated by other motorbikes and cars driving slow in front of us, AHA!! Road rage!

I won't lose my way

2011-02-23T01:26:00.001+07:00

I didn't think this feeling would come so quickly. Lately I've noticed I have become much moodier. I am about to get my period soon so maybe that could be the reason why I'm moody, but I think it's due to my realization that I will be leaving Vietnam soon.

I don't know when! But I know soon, I'm already planning on exactly where I want to go and I'm waiting for both my mind and heart to be like "Yeah Steph! You got this, pack up your shit and go!" I won't mention my potential destinations. Most people can agree that it's a depressing feeling when you leave or someone you care about leaves. I've said Goodbye to soooo many people during this trip that it gets harder and harder for me to deal with, which explains the moodiness. However, I know by the time I am ready to go, I will be in better spirits, cause I'd be looking forward to the challenges that awaits me.

My students at school help me a lot and they always make me smile. It's nice to 'not know' my plans and go with the flow, which is what I have been doing this whole time. However, I still prefer to be in control on what I want. I have many choices and I haven't been able to choose, that bothers me. Normally, I just know and it clicks in my brain; Nepal! India! Vietnam! -sigh- we'll see what happens.

I called my school loans company today to renew a forbearance on my account. I owe $35,500.00. (I went to a private art school!) I had an interesting chat with the representative:

Do you work more than 30 hours a week? No
Do you plan on getting a full-time job within the next month? Nope
Sometime this year perhaps? Nope
So...when do you think you will pay for your next payment? Uhh...not for a...while.
How long would you like continue the forbearance? What's my limit?
Likely 2 more years. Perfect.
May I ask...what are you doing? Taking a long needed break.
Good for you. (I hope he meant it)

big wang, little wang

2011-02-15T14:34:00.000+07:00

My brother is coming to Vietnam! Meaning: party time. So that means: it's gonna get messy.

Brian visited me in India (<--click for blog from India) exactly a year ago, good times.

This time we have a few missions to complete: Artwork being done, Halong Bay, getting wasted (obviously), and his wisdom teeth pulled.

Apparently it costs $1,500-$2,000 get a single wisdom tooth pulled, without dental insurance. Here in Vietnam, it costs $50.

This time I won't cry!

drinking rum from India, very very very messy night.

Valentine's Day

2011-02-13T23:26:00.000+07:00

This holiday is stupid. STUPID. I love being anti-everything. It's not like I'd be kissing anyone, but my lips ballooned cause of a mysterious allergy. Looks like I got a bad lip operation. My upper lip is so big that I can see it when I look down. I wish my entire mouth swelled up, so then it would at least look sexy?

mwah

Song of the day

2011-02-09T17:02:00.000+07:00

Laos Part.2

2011-02-07T15:25:00.000+07:00

Gong xi fat chai! Chuc mung nam moi! Happy Chinese & Vietnamese Lunar Year everyone!

For these holidays I went to Laos for 10 days. My housemates Vikki and Chris (England) and I took a sleeper bus to Vientiane, let's just say it didn't start off well.

A week and a half before we left I told Chris to get the bus tickets, and pressured him to reassure the travel agent that the buses had to be SLEEPING, not sitting. Because I've had many experiences where the travel agent would say one thing and you end up getting something completely different and ripped off. Plus, I traveled to Laos with a regular bus before, and it was not a pleasant journey. After asking the travel agent 20 million times that it was a sleeper bus, we were convinced that we got it. We arrived at the bus station and followed a guide to the Luang Prabang bus. When we got to the bus, it didn't look sleeper from the outside. I walked into the bus and saw it was all sitting chairs and cramped with people. HELL NAW! I went crazy. Vikki and Chris said I went 'American,' and let me deal with the situation. I immediately called the travel agent and told her what happened and that she'd better fix it and give us the right bus...or else. (I didn't know what the 'else' would have been, but I had to make a threat somehow). Turns out, the guide that lured us to the bus was just a random guy trying to get people to fill his bus, so we found the right bus driver and got on a sleeper bus.

We didn't sleep well but the ride wasn't that bad, good thing Chris had some ganja and we smoked a spliff before we left. We got to Vientiane and we were supposed to get on another bus to Luang Prabang. The bus driver gave me photo copied letter explaining that there wasn't a bus to Luang Prabang and the driver gave me 400k dong. So we got screwed, they knew there wasn't a bus to LP the whole time! Chris advised me to go back to the travel agency in Hanoi and go 'American' again to get the rest of our money back. (I don't think we'll get the money back but I'm definitely not going to let them get away with it without some of my ghetto fabulous holleration). Anyways, I decided that we should just stay the night in Vientiane and get drunk, just to get over the fact that we got screwed and we should have fun.

The next day we took a bus to Vang Vieng, I hated Vang Vieng the first time I visited, but it was Vikki's and Chris's first time. Of course, drunk 18 year-old Aussies running around half naked in the middle of a beautiful town. Every cafe showing episodes of Friends and Family Guy. Just so sad. When we got there we explored and climbed into caves. On our way back we found friends of mine from Hanoi, Ashley (American) and a couple that I teach with, Rachel and David (England). We met up for dinner and decided that the only way to get through Vang Vieng was to get drunk, we drank lots of beers and mixed buckets and went to check out a seedy bar. From the outside I was quite nervous going inside, it was all drunk kids running around. Vikki and I went to the bathroom and I was practically sexually assaulted by a good looking Spaniard. He kept asking to 'kiss me between the eyes,' he even tried to lean in, I covered my mouth and playfully walked out. That was just 20 seconds after walking into the bar! After that Vikki and I turned away a few guys trying to get lucky, basically we don't give them attention and then they move on to another girl over and over. I think it's okay for travellers to want this kind of partying, but Vikki, Chris and I just got back from Koh Phi Phi in Thailand a few weeks before and we were done with the whole partying scene.

climbing through caves.

The next morning was gray and cold, no sun! But we planned on tubing in a cave, kayaking, and jump swinging. The water was freezing cold but we had to get into the tubes. I tried not to make any whining noises getting into the water, but it was so cold I yelped "Ohhh, my...mo-ther!" I wanted to say motherfucker, but the fucker didn't follow as the freezing water was hitting my bones. So everyone was laughing at me on my random scream for mom. On our way out the sun appeared, finally all of us were in better moods.

We went to the river and settled our kayaks. There was barely any water so there weren't any rapids, but it was calm enough to pay attention to the scenery. We stopped in the middle to get beers and jump off the cliff swings. To be on the safe side, many people jump off and swing back and forth a few times before falling into the water. Me on the other hand, didn't see any demonstrations, so I went first and released on the first go, luckily I landed perfectly in and not on my ass or face. Unlucky, Vikki...released way to early and landed on her ass. (I promised her I wouldn't upload the video) But it was hilarious! The best and funniest moments of our trip. We were so tired from the day tour that we crashed at 10pm, on our way into the guesthouse, all the kids were walking out to begin the night.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7vjyQwV8zc

kayaking

Luang Prabang, LOVE IT. I love love love love love love love it. It's mellow, chill, relaxing, no car honking. And it was sunny! Loved it. I must say it changed my options on what I want to do after Vietnam. I wouldn't mind at all going back to northern Laos and see what opportunities are available. First night, we met up with John (Australia), Von (American), and Loic (Belgium) from Hanoi and we watched the sunset and had a bon fire. We hit up a bar called Utopia and was very chilled out, it was by the river and even had a volleyball court! I wanted to play so bad but felt uncomfortable going by myself.

a monk checking me out.

Next day, we all took a tuk tuk to the waterfalls. The park was okay, but too many tourists, it was crowded and the waterfall was just okay, I've seen better. We were able to swim and swing off from trees, so that was fun, once again cold water. After that I developed a cold and cough.

waterfall swimming

John, Von, and Loic left to Vang Vieng, and we stayed in Luang Prabang. We found Rachel, David, Ashley and friends, and we brought them to the bon fire sunset location to drink beer and relax. We all had dinner together and went out drinking. Vikki and I met up with Rachel and David at a bar and talked the whole night, Rachel and David left and Vikki and I adopted a group of guys and hung out with them.

Last day it was just relaxation before our night bus back to Vientiane for the flight back to Hanoi. Overall the trip was exactly what we needed. Relaxation and Sun. We were like old people; drinking tea, fruit shakes, and going to bed at 11pm. It was a good sunny break during winter.

There's a limit to MY love

2011-01-26T15:55:00.000+07:00

I had a very deep and intriguing conversation about love with someone I barely know. He spoke about his past experiences and I told him I had none, other than the ones that were superficial. He told me "You're the most guarded person I have ever met."

"Thanks!" I said back.

He referred me a song by Feist "Limit to your love." I know this song but never paid attention to all the verses. He said "I bet more than 5 guys in your life felt this way about you." I went home and looked up the lyrics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36SwnItlU4M

Clouds part
Just to give us a little sun

There’s a limit to your love
Like a waterfall in slow motion
Like a map with no ocean
There’s a limit to your love
Your love, your love, your love

There’s a limit to your care
So carelessly there
Is it truth or dare
There’s a limit to your care

Love love love
This dream of going upstream
Love love love
The trouble that you give me
I know I know I know
That only I can save me
I go I go I go
Right down the road

There’s a limit to your love
Like a waterfall in slow motion
Like a map with no ocean
There’s a limit to your love
Your love your love your love

I can’t read your smile
It should be written on your face
I’m piecing it together
There’s something out of place
Oh

Love love love
This dream of going upstream
Love love love
All the trouble that you give me
I know I know I know
That only I can save me
I go I go I go
Out on the road

Because there is no limit
There’s no limit
No limit no limit no limit
Limit to my love

Humble Visit in Ba Vi

2011-01-23T21:24:00.000+07:00

Last week I visited an orphanage in Ba Vi, 2 hours away from center of Hanoi. My colleagues and I went to support them by donating food and clothes. Also to take photographs for East Meets West new website, funding for people with disability in Vietnam.

The orphanage is supported by Three Trees organization and most of the children are orphans, and disabled, the orphanage also supports homeless elders. I'd say there were about 40 children, 25 of them were no older than 5 years old. There were many infants with disabilities. This orphanage definitely needed some funding for the building, it looked cold and damp. The sad thing is (and I feel bad saying it but it's true): the rooms where the infants were kept, smelled like an animal shelter. Everything was very clean but the smell...was unbearable. So it was difficult for me to see the children living in those conditions, but it was all they had. There are diligent people trying so hard to support those children, but more and more, each day or week, a newborn is dropped on their doorstep. So sad what they go through.

Phuong

I befriended a boy named Phuong. He looks 7 years old but because of his disease, he's really 15 years old. He still goes to school and has managed to balance finishing school and being the big brother of the orphanage. He doesn't look Vietnamese, he actually looks like he's from Eastern Russia. Anyways, he's a sweet boy and I trusted him to capture photos with my camera. There was also a 17 year old girl, she only has 3 fingers, and can play the piano. She learned how to play by ear, by using a donated electric piano.

I wanted to volunteer at the orphanage once a week, to do Arts & Crafts with them. But couldn't because I don't have any free time! It was nice to finally visit the orphanage and understand their struggles. I hope through our research and resources, we can help them more financially and emotionally.

I left the place feeling calm and thoughtful, and when I look through the photos in my camera, I can't control myself by smiling or frowning. That's what happens when you see places like those with your own eyes, you feel the happiness from them when you arrive, and you feel their sadness when you leave.

Saying Goodbye gets harder and harder for me.

Moving on...

2011-01-14T18:37:00.000+07:00

I'm different from other ordinary women. There are not a lot of women that are like me. I know I'm special (not conceited, just positive), I still think I'm a lucky person. I have to accept obstacles during this adventure.

All I do is move forward. It's the best way. This is actually the happiest I have ever been. Even today. Cause I know nothing so far can lessen my strength.

There is not another ME. No one can find another ME.

Especially my heart.

2010 is over

2011-01-03T17:00:00.000+07:00

My Xmas went well, spent the whole day cleaning the house (not fun) and had friends come over for dinner: We jammed on music, drank all the alcohol that existed in the house, and danced all night.

Xmas dinner

On December 27th, I flew out of Hanoi and went to Bangkok, Thailand to meet an old housemate Tom, from England. It was so hot! So good to be in a tropic weather again. The whole day was spent shopping, shopping, shopping. I appreciate Tom handling the girlishness with me while I tried on clothes. That night we went out to the seedy bars of Bangkok; Nana, and a couple of other areas. Let's just say I saw bananas, needles, ping pongs, and other stuff that I couldn't manage a woman can actually shoot out from her pootang.

Next day (hungover), flew out of Bangkok, and into Phuket. I shared a taxi to Phuket town with a french guy named Cedric. He was on vacation visiting a girl friend. After that long ride I got to the hostel, and went out to dinner with my friend from Hanoi, Ashley (also an American English teacher). I went out with her and her friends and then my friends Vikki and Chris, arrived later at the restaurant. Vikki and Chris are friends from England. I met Vikki here in Hanoi and he came to travel with us. Anyways, after dinner we all went out for drinks and had a nice mellow evening.

Next morning, another friend from Hanoi, Vaughan (England) arrived. The whole crew is here! We had lunch and went straight to the pier and caught a ferry to Koh Phi Phi. We got into our beautiful bungalows in the middle of the mountains, and then went to town. We began with BBQ kebabs and buckets. Buckets is a child's sand pail filled with Coke, Sprite, Red Bull, mixed with Vodka and/or Thai Rum that tastes like Whisky. I'm not use to drinking a lot of sweet with hard alcohol, I'm a Beer or Vodka/Tonic person. So yeah, I puked, in a good way, I had fun!

Buckin'

We had a day where we went snorkeling, saw no sharks, cliff jumping, and beach bumming. The weather most of the time was cloudy, but good thing it got sunnier on our last 2 days.

hi!

NYE, we were preparing ourselves: Nap, ate carbs for dinner (to absorb the alcohol), drinking lightly before buckets. Okay, the party started when I found a hot chick for Chris, I met a Finnish girl in the bathroom and brought her over to Chris for eye candy, didn't last long, she was too beautiful for him. Ha! We finished our drinks and headed to the beach, we ordered more drinks and buckets and waited for the countdown. The beach was packed with sexual-raging backpackers, great energy and good music. At the end (5 a.m), I was more sober than anyone else, I took care of drunk Chris and brought him back to our bungalow safely.

Overall, it was a chill week for me. I wanted to do absolutely nothing, other than shopping and eating everything that was in front of me! Now I'm back to bitter cold Hanoi and I must say that I'm glad to be back. I was okay with having a short time in Thailand, because it was a vacation from my vacation. It's all good. Let's hope 2011 will be another good year for me.

Christmas in Vietnam

2010-12-22T15:42:00.000+07:00

Not sure what I will do for Christmas here in Hanoi. I'm not a Christmas person anymore, but doesn't matter, all I know is that this years Christmas will be WAY better than last years Christmas in Bangladesh! (edited)

Every Tuesday, my class of 8-9 year olds gather upstairs to our classroom and wait while I'm downstairs preparing lessons. Whenever I'd walk up the stairs I could hear them whisper and giggle, as soon as I'd reach to the classroom the lights would be off, I'd open the door in complete darkness and they'd all scream and roar, trying to scare me. Every week they do this.

Yesterday, I brought my camcorder to capture it this time. Routinely, I'd walk up the stairs with my camera ready, I heard the whispers and giggles, and I got to the door. The lights were off but then flickered back on. I opened the door and...well check it out.

awwwwww, they totally surprised me.

Merry Christmas everyone! And Happy New year, miss you all!

Someday...

2010-12-06T23:55:00.000+07:00

I will disappear and chill on a mountain top. No teaching, no work, no art, just me. Thinking about what else to accomplish in my life.

Thanks Brian.

They're all growns up

2010-12-02T13:36:00.000+07:00

I've been teaching English at E-Talents for about 5 months. I have already noticed my 8 year- old students growing. I swear that they have all grown at least 1 or 2 inches this summer, or maybe they got fatter, can't tell. But they look so different! Feels like I gave birth to them or something, when I look at them writing in their workbooks, I get all emotional and happy watching them grow and learning. *gush*

My other classes are the toughest, they're way too talkative, but good kids. They take out so much energy from me that I'm extremely exhausted when the day is over.

Another teacher substituted for one of my classes, the 16 year olds. I told her before that she needed to separate the boys and girls seating arrangements, or else they won't pay attention and talk the whole time. Apparently the kids took full advantage that she was a substitute and didn't listen to her. They would NEVER disobey me if I was there. I try hard to be the cool teacher, but when I need to be strict, I am STRICT. Really, it's all about repeating yourself slowly and using intense eye contact. If a boy refuses to move chairs cause he's distracting other students, I'd say "MOOOOOVE." He quickly moves without hesitation. I think to myself "Hah! Yeah, you better." It even works when I'm 5 meters away. Power in the eyes!

The substitute also mentioned that a boy forgot his workbook after class, and when she was searching for its name written inside, she saw scribbles that said "I ♥ Stephania." That could only be me. We still don't know who the owner of the workbook is but I can guess which kid it might be. One boy in particular, Tung. On my first day, I walked into class, he looked at me and said "Oh my god," all the kids were laughing. Since then he'd dress nicer each week; a tie, a collared shirt, or smooth hair. Good thing I don't know all the slangs in Vietnamese, cause most of the time during class, a boy would mutter something, the whole class laughs and looks at me if I understood. Yeah, good thing I don't know what they're saying.

I had to give up my volunteer teaching at the high school in Thact That district. I just don't have any time and energy to travel there. I'm already so busy with teaching English in Hanoi, working at the NGO, and freelance design. Sometimes I can't believe how much work I've agreed to do, thinking that I can actually do them. I feel very guilty because my time there was rewarding, but it was my lowest priority, the school was too far away and during an inconvenient schedule. Either way, I made a positive choice to focus on what I'm doing now; I'm saving money and building more experience.

I can't believe it's December already, time goes by quick. Soon it will be my 9th month in Vietnam. Anyways, Thailand for New Years 2011!! It's all about the beach, tanning, shopping, and relaxing. I had a busy year, I deserve this.

Things my students say...

2010-11-16T14:00:00.000+07:00

Class lesson: Make a sentence by using Never, Always, Usually, and Sometimes.

1. I never eat people

2. I sometimes bath

3. I never eat a turtle

4. I never eat grass

5. I usually eat salad

6. I sometimes listen to my mom

7. I always go back to sleep when my mom scolds at me in the morning

8. I sometimes think

9. I always hit my brother

Class lesson: If I could meet anyone in the world, I'd meet...

1. Michael Jackson

2. Albert Einstein

3. Big Bang (korean pop group)

If I could live anywhere in the world, I'd live in...

1. The White House

If I was rich, I'd buy...

1. An airplane

2. Ferrari

3. Lamborghini

4. A sexy girl

5. A rocket

6. Jupiter

7. A sexy girl INSIDE a Ferrari

Rice wine in a village...yum

2010-11-09T15:01:00.000+07:00

I've been living in Vietnam for 8 months now. I'm surprised that I'm not anxious or getting itchy feet to move to another country. I'm still loving it here. I was still tired and worn out for 4 days since my birthday weekend. All in all, just been so busy with work and freelance design.

I like how my design job at EMW allows me to explore Vietnam. I took on a new challenge to lead a project where we research hand-made materials in Vietnam, and then producing our own products to fundraise for our organization.

Over the weekend I went to Hoa Binh, 3-4 hours from Hanoi. Hoa Binh is a Thai ethnic village that specializes in making textile fabrics. They don't live in houses, they live in nha sans, wooden houses on stilts. I've always wanted to stay in these when I first learnt about them in my early days arriving in Vietnam. I woke up Saturday morning at 4am (ugh) and rode my motorbike to my colleague's house. From there we got a ride to the bus station and got to Hoa Binh around 10:30am. Mountains! Cows! Dogs! Chickens! Cow shit everywhere! So nice to be in a village again!

Country people are different from city people. In Hanoi I get stared at often, maybe they're curious if I'm Vietnamese, Korean, Japanese, and I get the same stare when wearing a dress even! I don't like people staring at me, so many days I wear sun glasses or my hat. But in this village, no one cared how I looked or dressed. It felt like I was one of them, no one stared at me funny, regardless of me wearing Converse Chucks and a jacket with faux-fur hoodie.

Thai family invited us for a traditional Thai performance at their nha san.

For lunch, dinner, and breakfast. Rice wine was served. Rice wine tastes like vodka and is very light. I like vodka. Vodka is like water to me. I drank a lot over the weekend! Our first meal, the landlord lady brought out the rice wine (my eyes lit, I couldn't stop staring at it, wondering when someone was going to open it) and THEN she poured 4 cups for people who wanted it. We all cheered "Chuc Suc Khoe" which means "Get Well". WELL...I'm use to drinking the entire shot when I'm served a shot cup...I was the only one that drank the whole thing. When I finished, I put my cup down and everyone was staring at me, then looked away and continued eating in silence. Sometimes I think if it isn't good to show interest in drinking alcohol cause I'm a woman (being in Asia, lack of respect for female independence blah blah) but I haven't received any negative vibes from anyone. One Vietnamese woman there said she liked the way I act. I asked her 'cause I like rice wine?' she said 'yeah!' ...alright then! At the end they said they liked how I'm open to their customs and that I enjoy drinking with them, everyone's happy.

Speaking of itchy feet, while I was in Hoa Binh, I was itching to go back to Hanoi. Hanoi is my home and where I feel comfortable. I know I am attached to Hanoi, just like I was to Nepal. I've been asked so many times how long I plan to stay in Hanoi, and I always say "My contract expires next June. Then I have no idea."

Blogging what I remember on my Birthday

2010-11-01T12:44:00.000+07:00

My 8 year old student asked me how old I was. I said 27, then he said "Oh, that's young." Then I said "my birthday is tomorrow," he said "Oh...28...that's old."

Yes that's right, I'm 28 now. I was 26 when I left America. Last year's birthday was in Dharamsala, India. I wanted a mellow get together for my birthday this year but my friends' persuaded me to have a party at their house. Last week my friend Vikki and I went costume shopping, I must say there wasn't a good selection. I didn't have time to tailor my own outfit. So I had no clue. Then I saw it...floating on a coat hanger, a little boys' Superman costume. I thought to myself 'Can I fit into that?' I grabbed it and took off my jacket, and the store lady screamed at me to not put it on, she snatched the costume from hands and re-hung on. FINE!! Don't take my money then, I'll just walk to another store. The second store lady was MUCH nicer, she and her grandmother were laughing at me when I wanted to try it on, the lady couldn't hold her laughter in when she tried to tell me it was for children. The shirt was a bit tight bu do-able, but I wasn't going to attempt to try on the leggings. So I bought the costume anyway. I tried on the leggings when I got home, it wouldn't go past my knees. I used the waistline as a headband and made socks.

Friday night, about 40-50 people came. Everyone dressed up! At least tried to and I appreciate the effort people went through. I drank tons of beer and coconut rice wine. Then the chocolate cake came out...and then I went mental! People said I started the food fight, but I don't think I did...maybe I did, but when it did start I just went on a chocolate smearing rampage. Chocolate in my eyes, my ear, back of knees, my hair was dreaded in chocolate mousse. I washed my hair 2 times, it still stank of rancid milk and was super oily cause of the mousse.

The next morning...hangover! Went back to bed to sleep it off and woke up around 2pm. Had lunch and met up with my friends to clean the house. I opened the roof door to await the mess, it looked pretty bad, but in a good way...cause then you know it was a good party! There were so many paper cups, beer cans, wine bottles, and random pieces of peoples' costumes...fuzzballs, head bands, bats, safety pins.

I found out that day that my great-grandmother wasn't feeling well. She's 103. I don't think I will get to see her. I hope my dad and grandmother are okay.

TaiLau

Thank You and Thanks

2010-10-23T22:56:00.000+07:00

It's been a journey. I wrote a post a while ago about random people sending me messages about my blog and how it had inspired them. I receive about 2 messages a week from people who have came across my blog or have heard from other people. I appreciate the messages saying "I can't wait for your next post" or "Keep it up, you seem so happy."

I always reply back saying "Thanks, I'm glad someone actually reads them!" I really feel like that. Like...wow...people care.

I think I am not a good blogger or even a writer! I never had a journal or diary. I've always used photographs as my memories. I write what I feel and I write when I feel like I need to write. I remembered how awkward it was to write my first few blogs, I didn't know what to say. My brother persuaded me to have a blog when I refused. I consider myself a private person, but I'm glad that I have continued to write and not give up.

I thanked my brother, dad, mom, and close friends for supporting me. And now I want to say thanks to whoever reads this. I appreciate you all following with me on this epic adventure. Although, even without support I'd still be doing this trip.

Anyways, design work for EMW is going well, designing a new website, and can't wait to find out which design we're going to end up using. Teaching English at the Hanoi school is good, the kids LIKE me! The other day I was on my motorbike going to work, another motorbike passed in front of me and a little boy sitting on the back turned his head, removed his face mask, and said "Hi Teacher!" and then ride away. :) It's also nice to run into my students in the city center and meeting their parents, the child would say "This is my teacher," and the parents would have huge smiles, then we would shake hands, and I'll tell them their child is a good student. They love that.

My colleague from work, Huong, invited me to visit her family in Phu Tho. It's a 3 hour train ride from Hanoi. The family was so welcoming that I fell in love with them. It's funny that when you enter a family's house in America, you are still distant to not over-stay your welcome, even when they say "mi casa es su casa." But this family, BAM! You're part of the family. I napped with Huong, her baby, and the grandmother in one bed...I slept well! I loved the grandmother and she made me miss my own grandmothers in America and China. I helped her out of the car one time and walked with her for walking support, she sniffed my hands. I got paranoid and asked Huong why the grandmother was sniffing my hands. Huong said that it was her way of showing affection. Awwwwwww!!!!! She liiiiiiiiiikes meeeeeeee. After that, whenever I saw the grandmother sitting alone, I'd sit next to her and hold her hand. Even though we couldn't communicate to each other (because I barely knew any Vietnamese), we had a bond. That's what I miss, I miss that kind of love. When the grandmother left, she sniffed both sides of my face. DOUBLE SNIFFS! YES!

Grammy on right.

Huong's father seemed to like me a lot too, if I got married (ha!), he wants to come to the wedding. They will come to my house one day.

On another note, I got a new mattress cause the old one had bed bugs. BED BUGS!! Haven't been bitten by bed bugs since sleeping in a shitty hostel in India! Uhhhhhh.

Today I feel...

2010-10-22T16:34:00.000+07:00

I'm happy I found this song. It speaks to me. Makes me think of life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8aPyBr-_S0

My misery
And how it lost me all I wanted
Those dogs that love the rain
And chasing trains
The colored birds above there running
In circles round the well
And where it spells
On the wall behind St. Peter's
So bright with cinder gray
And spray paint
'Who the hell can see forever?'

My Folks

2010-10-14T10:41:00.000+07:00

"YOU ARE SKINNY." That's what my pops said to me when he saw me picking him up at the Hanoi airport, October 4th. Followed by "A year and a half and 4 days." For me, it didn't feel long. For him, it was. He and I talked about my whole time in Vietnam while we waited for my mom to arrive. (they flew seperately from different countries). At this time beginning of October, it was 1,000 year anniversary of Hanoi itself. So it has been crazy packed in the Old Quarters.

My dad was emotional seeing me and I knew he was going to be like that. Seeing my mom was casual as ever, as if she was a buddy I saw yesterday, "hey" my mom said when we saw each other. We grabbed a taxi and headed to their hotel. It was late in the evening but all the lights of Hanoi was still lit. Been a while since I drove in the Old Quarters late at night, so it was nice to see it all decorated without the normal chaotic traffic.

The next day I met up with them and we walked around the Hoan Kiem Lake. I grabbed a couple cyclos (I can't believe I did it a second time) for my dad, and the other for mom and I. Rode around for 30 minutes and had lunch, and walked around some more around the Old Quarters. Went back to the hotel and took a nap. Dinner came around and I took them to Quan An Ngon. One of my favorite restaurants. My parents ordered 7 dishes! Turned out that my dad wanted me to be full, he thinks I'm starving myself to save money (maybe).

Wednesday, my parents left in the morning to Halong Bay. A 1 night and 2 day trip. I had to stay in Hanoi to work.

Thursday.

Friday, I worked and taught class. I met up with them in the evening before they went to bed. They said they enjoyed their time in Halong Bay and had great food. A few ups and downs with the tour guide and hotel management, but overall they enjoyed it.

Saturday, we had lunch with the owner of the school I am teaching in. The restaurant was a HUGE buffet and once again, I was stuffed. I think I did gain a few pounds that week. Anyways, after lunch we went to ceramic village and silk village. The whole journey should have taken about 3 hours, including shopping time, but because of traffic due to the festival, it took 5 hours! Not to mention, our taxi driver hit someone on a motorbike. The driver flew off his bike. I did not want my parents to see that when I had JUST told them that I bought myself a bike. The taxi driver gave the injured motorbiker 300k dong ($15) and we left. Good thing we were tired, my parents forgot about the accident and just relaxed when we got home.

Sunday, I was supposed to be at my parents hotel at 8am, and take a tour bus to Hoa Luu (Old capital) and Tam Coc. I woke up LATE! I can't remember what I did Saturday night...I woke up at 7:40 am. I brushed my teeth, grabbed my backpack, and drove as fast as I could to their hotel, the streets were so busy at that time! But I made it to my parents hotel on time.

I fell asleep the whole way to Hoa Luu. Hoa Luu was nice but Tam Coc was AMAAAAAZING. Way better than Halong Bay. My mom is silly, she's sooo silly.

Tam Coc

We got back to Hanoi early evening and I took them to have BBQ. Afterwards, we had dessert called Che, it's just a bunch of different stuff mixed together and crushed ice on top, my parents like that kind of stuff. We headed back to the hotel and I spent the night there with them. My dad had to leave back to Taiwan the next early morning.

Monday morning, my dad left at 7:30am. He told me not to come with him to the airport. I couldn't go anyway cause I had work, but if I didn't, he would force me to stay in Hanoi. My dad is too proud to cry in front of me, I'm the same way. I left my mom at the hotel until lunch time. I picked her up at noon, put her in a taxi and followed me back to my house, 15 minutes away.

Tuesday, I forced my mom to cook for my friends and I. It took us 2 days to shop for all the ingredients, and it was the first time I rode a motorbike with her on the back! It was a lot of fun and she didn't seem scared or paranoid being a passenger. That's good. About 10 people showed up and my mom and I cooked so much food! The left overs lasted a few more days. Anyways, it was a good night of my close friends and it was nice to eat her cooking again. She's the best Chinese chef!

Dinner

Wednesday, I was late coming home in the evening. I had to attend a ceremony where a Vietnamese 'celebrity' was handing over donations to people suffering from disabilities. I had to take photographs. It was crazy traffic and was so worried my mom was waiting for me to eat dinner. I got home quickly and I open my bedroom door, my mom is laying there watching her Chinese DVD's. She did eat without me cause I was too late, but we went to the Old Quarters to go shoe shopping. Ate a little food cause I was hungry and we both shared a fruit smoothie.

Thursday, I came home from work at noon, we had lunch and went to a hair salon. We got our hair washed and had facials. We both relaxed until her taxi came at 4:30 pm, and she left to the airport back to America.

I think my parents liked Vietnam. I also think that my dad understands why I like it here and more acceptable that I'd rather be here than America. I needed my dad to visit me cause it's good for both of us. I like seeing people I care about and I miss a lot of people, and he needed to see his daughter. It was a good trip, many laughs and hugs.

my folks.

sleeping to dream

2010-10-07T14:12:00.000+07:00

Spiders, sharks, motor accidents, and losing people I love. Some things I am afraid of. But now I have this annoying habit that seems impossible to get rid of, and I can only worry more if it gets worse...

When I was in Europe for 9 months in 2004, traveling through 15 countries and 160 cities (so imagine how many hostels I've slept in). I developed a sleeping habit of waking up abruptly, kind of scared, took a minute to realize which country I was in and why I was there. I'd wake up and think "where am I?" A minute is a long time to think which country I'm in! I was completely clueless. That habit eventually faded when I went back to America.

The past few months that habit is creeping back again, but more fearful and almost violent. I'd wake up with a big kick (as if I was falling in my dream) in the middle of the night and I would be really really scared. I'll look around my room and still be confused on where I was. I'd think "Am I in India?" Then slowly I would remember that I am in my house, Hanoi, Vietnam. Lately, I'd wake up and think I'm in Los Angeles, that I was sleeping in my old apartment, and this was all a dream. Everything...Nepal, India, Vietnam...the past 1.5 year was all a dream. I was dreaming the best dream I ever had and it never actually happened, I'm in reality. I told my brother this problem via skype and he said "Mei, if this is a dream, then I would be dreaming too."

It's a realization that I am living my dream and I fully understand now how important this trip means to me. How precious time is. I'm going to be 28 years old. How long can I keep this dream going for?

Currently in Hanoi

2010-09-06T22:52:00.000+07:00

So far so good in Vietnam. I moved into an awesome house in Westlake with really cool housemates, and a great view of banana tree farms. Started teaching over a month ago and I love my students. Graphic work is going well, I'm enjoying the projects I have been working on. Also doing separate design projects on the side to make more money.

I recently responded to an ad I found on the internet. It needed volunteers to teach English to a high school outside of Hanoi, Thach That district. I visited the school a few weeks ago to understand their knowledge of English. I found out during my visit that I was the only person that responded to the ad and was willing to travel 1 hour to the school and help out. The teacher that was organizing this program desperately needed my help. After all this time being in Asia, I am ready to take on this program. I've met with the director and principal of the school and they agreed that I can take charge. So I'm facilitating! (for free) But at the same time, I'm doing this alone. Teaching 4 classes with a total of 250 teenagers isn't easy. I definitely need to find some foreigners interested in doing this. Anyways, this morning was the first day of teaching. I woke up at 5:20am (ughhhh) and got to the school at 7am. Wow...it was really tough getting the kids to say Hi or Hello. I knew it would be difficult for the kids to speak cause I know they're shy, and most likely embarassed to speak in front of me. It was frustrating because a lot of them were lazy, like ALL teenagers, but I know they have potential. This will be a good challenge for me.

Phung Xa Commune School

The school I'm teaching in Hanoi is great! The students I teach are 8-14 years old. I have been asked to teach at other schools for more pay, but I refused cause I was already attached to my students. I didn't want to leave them. They're so clever. For example, I was teaching them what strange and normal meant. I drew a picture of the sea on the board, they called out that fish, shells, coral, and sharks were normal in the sea. Then I drew rabbits, horses, and ants, and they all said it was strange. After I drew a car with a person driving in it, all said it was strange but one boy, he said "Normal!" I gave him a confused look and I asked why? He said "...in the future." Come on! Isn't that cute!

Hanoi School.

Because I'm taking on so many great projects, I'm not even sure if I'm doing too much. I barely have any free time, I'm always tired. BUT!!! I like it. I'd rather be busy than not. I am doing what I came here to do, was work. My work is important...and I'm doing it, I'm happy. I like that I can still do voluntary work while I'm here. It keeps my mind in-check.

In one month, my parents are coming to visit me. :))))

Anything you can spare...

2010-08-14T03:12:00.000+07:00

Friends & Family,

If you have the time please take a look at this website. I volunteered at one of their hostels in Kathmandu, Nepal, and taught English at the lama care center. They have another school located in Kailash, which is on the border of Nepal and Tibet. They're in need of sponsorships or donation. Currently, they are afraid that they will not be able to continue all 3 schools because of insufficient funds. It would also be helpful if any of you could spread this message around. Thanks.

Limi orphans, took them swimming, they never went swimming before.

Lama care center.

If you're interested in volunteering or knowing about their projects, please contact: kailashzone@gmail.com

www.kailashzone.org

D'sLG

2010-08-12T01:17:00.000+07:00

I think my dream came true. In my previous post, I wrote about a dream I had of my father. I had dreams about my family before, but this dream was so surreal, that it got our father-daughter relationship on the dot.

Growing up, I was a stupid kid. I did stupid shit: I stole, I lied, I was careless, hung around with the wrong crowd, I got into fights, I was horrible in school...I guess you can say a normal kid. My parents did the best they could to help me find the right path, but of course how can they do that? I would never listen to them. My father and I, did not have a good relationship. Most of the time, I was always crying. This goes back to me being dumb, getting into trouble, and being punished. I was so use to crying in front of my father that it became a routine. When I turned 16, that's when a lot of things changed. ME. I hated my life. I didn't know who I was or why I existed. Then I discovered art. I saw a painting in the Pasadena Norton Simon museum, 'bust of a woman' by Pablo Picasso. The painting was my reflection. I related to her facial expression, she looked lost. That's when I knew I love art. It was the first time I felt something. I felt alive. Then I went to art school and my life was getting better and better.

Since then, there were less arguing between me and my dad. I changed. He was waiting for me. My parents supported everything I did and I thank them for that. However, I still can't say I love you to my father without wanting to cry. The crying happens because I don't know how to act emotionally around him. Whenever I am emotional, it's because of all the arguing we had in almost my whole life. It just happens, even when I try not to.

Christmas of 2002, I wrote him a letter as a present. I told him that I loved him and I thank him for everything he has done for me. Where would I be if he wasn't so protective? Who would I be if he didn't teach me to be independent and take care of myself? My strength comes from him.

Our relationship is very quiet. We don't talk much. I'm positive that we NEVER had a deep conversation before. I think if we did, both of us probably can't take it (emotionally), and stop the conversation. We're too much alike: strong, reserved, doesn't like to show weakness. We talk about normal things, but never something deep. In my dream, there was barely any dialogue, but you can feel the love in the relationship...I think. You can feel that we loved each other, father and daughter.

I have seen my father cry 2 times in my life. One of those times was when his grandmother was dying. Third time I saw him cry was when I left United States to Nepal, at the airport, outside of the security gates. He knew I didn't want to come back. Since then, he cries at almost every Skype video call. Tonight, I skyped them. They told me they wanted to come to Vietnam in October to visit. This is one of the best news I've had since Stephaney came. My dad said he read the blog post shortly after I posted it. I asked him "Did you cry?" my dad changed the subject and continued to show me around the new house they moved into. After he put the laptop down, I asked again, this time my mom answered "YEAH! He cries at night in bed, WAH! WAH! WAH! I want to know why you didn't dream about me!" We were all laughing.

I hope they come.

A Story for my Dad

2010-08-04T21:07:00.000+07:00

I'm walking on a dirt road by myself, I'm carrying a small backpack, wearing boots, a scarf wrapped around my head, and wearing sunglasses. I must be in traveling mode and finding a village to stay for a while. It's mid-day I think, hot, but not humid. I see a trail off the road into the woods and I look up and see a hill pass. I guess I wanted to go over it, so I take the trail off the road up the hill.

There are trees everywhere, they fill around me more and more where I have to take out a machete to cut off the branches. (I have a machete?) So I'm cutting my way out of the woods Crocodile Dundee style and I see a clear valley coming up. I break away, put the machete away in my backpack, and walk up a hill. I get to a cliff and I stop to look at the view.

"Very nice view," I turn around and there's my dad. He's standing behind me and looking at the same direction I was looking at. He has his hand over his eyes so the sun doesn't reflect off his glasses. He's wearing a red and black checkered button-up shirt, blue jeans, and white sneakers. His hair is very gray, but he still looks the same, a 6ft asian dad with a beer belly. I smile at him while he's looking around. He then looks at me and puts his arm around my neck and kisses me on the cheek. He pats me on the back and pulls me away from the cliff and we continue walking up the hill. I worry about him walking, I don't think he can handle a trek like this, it isn't flat, mainly up-hill rocks and dirt. But I'm remembering that this is a dream. My dad is like Superman. He's jumping over puddles, tip-toeing across a log over a stream, climbing boulders without sweating or huffing and puffing like a former smoker.

"Where's Mom?" I ask him.

"She's in China, visiting Po Po, (Po-Po=Grandmother) Mom told me to come with you."

"That's good."

We continue silent walking, my dad jumps high over a stream. He lands perfectly on the other side, turns around, waiting to watch me jump. I take a few steps back, run, and jump. I land right in the middle of the stream, water all over me, and my boots soaked. My dad is laughing his ass off. Hearing his laugh again makes me smile. I stomp out of the stream and I tell him to shut up. He pats me on the back, catching his breath, takes off his glasses to wipe his laughing tears.

"I think this is the top." He says. I look further up and he's right, we're at the top. We stop around a few boulders. I take out my water bottle and I give it to him. He takes 3 big gulps and hands it back to me. I lay on my backpack and I see my dad sitting with one leg crossed over the other. His hands are resting on his crossed leg, he's looking at the view, smiling. I rest my head back and put my scarf over my eyes to nap for a few minutes.

After a few minutes, I hear him say "Mei, I'm gonna go now." I say "okay," and I hear his foot steps walking away. After a few more minutes, I lift my scarf up, and he's gone. I pick up my backpack and I start walking again.

I miss you. Mom too.

"I am here to search for beauty"

2010-08-01T14:18:00.000+07:00

(disclaimer: emo) I recently met a Brazilian traveler that I connected with very deeply. The title of this post was quoted by him and I loved how he said it. I have a hard time explaining how I see 'beauty' in the world. Like my left arm tattoo; a beautiful world. Originally, I wanted it to say We live in a beautiful world, inspired by Coldplay's 'Don't Panic.' But it was like 4 lines long in Tibetan script and I had to trim it shorter. Anyways, he's the first person that I met that sees it the same way as I do.

If you take out the madness, the hate, the things that man has made for the world to be corrupt...and just look at where we live. It's so beautiful. If you have never cried (not baby-balling crying, but just enough to shed a tear) at seeing something beautiful, then I feel sorry for you. Not happiness or fullfillment when you see something beautiful, that doesn't count, I mean...real crying.

My first experience of crying beauty, I was 19 years old in China, I can't remember what city or what temple I was in. But when I walked in, there was a 30 ft (10 m) golden Buddha. Around him were hundreds of smaller golden Buddhas, or Gods, or other statues. They had intricate carvings and extravagant facial expressions, but they were all around me. It felt like I was inside an egg and these statues were alive, enclosing on me. The interior art of the temple overwhelmed me, to the point where I was crying, I was balling my eyes out cause I never seen anything like it.

Another story, I was in Kathmandu, Nepal. It was Nepali New Years, myself and other volunteers walked around a hill near our house that had a stoupa on top. At the entrance, there were stairs that led to the stoupa, there were thousands of lit candles everywhere. There were monks everywhere and people handing me candles whenever I was empty-handed. Being a part of something so sacred, cultural, and meaningful...I thought I would never see something like it again. That's when I realized that simple things can affect me.

Nepal.

Back to the traveler I met. He told me a couple emotional incidents where he felt the same way. He told me a story from Thailand and Cambodia, but I won't share the story because it isn't mine to tell it. Anyways, I told him a humbling story of some Indian village girl being nice to me and giving me candy and rupees because I didn't have any to give her. He asked me later "How can we find this beauty? And how can it find us?" I thought about it for a little and replied "We can't find it, it finds us. But, we have to step out of our bubble first, being away from it, far away, and then it finds us." He had an interesting way of guiding himself in his trip and even though I'm on the same passage as he is, I am still surprised and inspired by him. There are other people in this world trying to find beauty, looking for the answer which we never asked the question, and we still change.

I 'found' myself a long time ago during my solo Europe trip so I'm not looking for answers on why I exist in this world. I'm here because I want to be here, I know what I want to do with my life, I know how to make myself happy. I believe the world is beautiful, I don't care if you don't agree, but I will have to say that it's because you haven't seen it yet.

Your soul mate can be your best friend

2010-07-15T20:07:00.000+07:00

I'm lucky. So is Stephaney. (yeah yeah, same name) We've known each other for 20 years. We went to different high schools, different colleges, different countries, yet...our friendship is still strong. This is what I needed, all of my travels were with people I met, but I never spent it with someone I knew well and cared for.

I met up with her in Saigon (South Vietnam). I emailed her to meet me at the hotel I picked. I knew she would arrive around 11pm, I was an excited little puppy and couldn't wait in the room, I had to stand outside of the hotel to wait for her. Numerous of taxis went by and I saw a taxi pull over near me but I saw within the tinted windows there was a group inside the car...Stephaney can't be in that car I thought, but who do I see come out? Stephaney looking confused. It's HER!

First day in Saigon, we went to the history museum, reunification palace, and met up with my friend Margie whom is a volunteer that I always wanted to meet. That night we went on a night bus to Phnom Penh, Cambodia. On the bus Stephaney was whining about her Vietnam visa, she said she made a mistake by getting a single entry on her visa, so...that means she had to get a new visa after we're done with Cambodia, back to Vietnam. Sooooo...that means she only used 1 day on her visa...I couldn't help but chuckle (hence my bad luck with visas). In the morning we reached Chau Doc and from there we took a speed boat along the Mekong River (I think we slept the whole way). Arrived in Phnom Penh in the afternoon and looked for a cheap room to sleep in. We visited the national museum and per my request we went to the Killing Fields. I had to know more about the history of Cambodia. I learned a lot and I also felt a 'fullfillment' when I visited it. This is the 2nd time being in Cambodia for me and it was special. I was happy to be back and sharing this experience with someone I loved. Stephaney got to see my happiness being in Cambodia.

Took a day trip to Sihanoukville, 5 hours away from Phnom Penh, we got there in the afternoon and went straight to Serendipity beach, we got bombarded by sellers of bracelets, keychains, crab, fruit, necklaces, and threaders. Stephaney got her bottom legs threaded (hair pulled off (don't kill me Stephaney for mentioning this)) and I got 2 free bracelets from little girls. I think Stephaney and I took 50 improv photos of us jumping in the air catching the timer on her camera. I was surprised how tired we were after the 30th shot. Later in the evening caught a sleeper bus back to Phnom Penh, Steph's first time on a sleeper bus!

Sihanoukville, Cambodia

Next day was a bus to Siem Reap (my favorite place in the WORLD). When we got into our hotel we arranged a horse-back ride around the village. That was fun cause it was Steph's first time on a real horse, I liked mine because she was wild and crazy and tried bucking me off whenever we trotted, her name was Madonna. Temple day was great, the weather wasn't too bad. Last time I was in Siem Reap 3 years ago it was HOT. Thankfully it was cloudy. Stephaney said Angkor Wat was amazing, and I said "Yeah, it's OLD," touching one of the ruins with my finger. We had great posed photos around the ruins (America's Next Top Model Style). We also donated blood at the Jayavarman Children's Hospital, I donated blood there 3 years ago and had to do it again, I convinced Stephaney that it was safe and she did it with me. She isn't evil after all.

Ta Phrom temple, Cambodia

Arguement #1: On our way out of Angkhor Wat, Stephaney stopped by a stall that sold paintings. She asked how much a 30x10 painting was and the girl thought for a while and said "Thirty-hundred thousand dong," I knew she meant 300,000D ($15), so I corrected her English and said "You mean...three hundred thousand." Stephaney yelled at me "STEPHANIE!" and giving me a look to shut the fuck up, as if I was telling the woman we did want to buy it for 300,000D. I yelled back at Stephaney "I'm CORRECTING her English!" Stephaney tried to get away with 30,000D ($1.50), but either way if she did get it for 30,000D I would feel bad and be honest and say that we can't rip this girl off cause she's ignorant. I left cause Stephaney annoyed me and after 10 minutes I came back to the same painting stall and I see 10 locals surrounding her...what did Stephaney get herself into now?

Arguement #2: Stephaney was on holiday, she can spend whatever amount she wanted and had a good job back in Cali, so it didn't matter how much she spent. For me...I'm a total traveler-budget-on-a-shoe-string. We understood each others views but it was difficult to accept them. It was hard for her to bargain something that was $5 more than it should be, because it didn't matter to her, and it was hard for me to accept a $350 plane ticket from Siem Reap to Danang, Vietnam. I know Stephaney had a tight schedule and didn't want to waste time traveling for 2 days when we can get there in 2 hours. I was upset cause I didn't want her to spend that much money and also to pay for me, cause I would feel so guilty. She was annoyed because I should have been more appreciative that she would pay for me. We both had to adjust and we ended up meeting in the middle. We took a night bus to Saigon (slept on chairs that didn't recline in the BACK seat of the bus) and take a flight from Saigon to Danang. She saved about $600 and we got to Hoi An, Vietnam the same day. We were both happy with the outcome.

Arrived in Danang and took a taxi to Hoi An, Vietnam. We both loved it! It was a charming, cute, old town. Also Stephaney found a sweet hotel for $25 that had a pool, a bath tub (I haven't had a bath in over a year), with robes, and a balcony. I told her I felt like Cinderella, a poor girl that hasn't had any luxuries. She then looked in the closet and gasped, I said "Are there robes in there?" she responded "Yes, so now we can feel like REAL princesses!" AND we had a mosquito net around our huge bed with a mattress that was at least 7 inches thick! It was the softest bed I slept in so long.

Hoi An, Vietnam

We shopped and shopped, took a couple bicycles and rode to the nearest beach and relaxed. After we rode our bikes around the town, almost crashed into 3 motorcyclists, ate, drank, and explored. That night we reminisced about everything: unforgettable embarassing stories and funny moments. Next morning we woke up at 3:30am to catch out 4:45 am train from Danang to Hanoi, Vietnam (Stephaney was flying out of). Duration was 15 hours. Stephaney slept most of the way and I didn't, I always had a hard time sleeping on buses and trains.

Yes, I made a u-turn and Stephaney waited to take the perfect shot while I gaze.

I almost LOST MY BEST FRIEND. Seriously. All the bathrooms on the train were padlocked. So we had to get off the train and use the station bathrooms. Stephaney missed the last stop and waited for the next. We stopped at Vinh and she got off first to use the bathroom while I watched our belongings in the cabin. An old man came into our cabin and his berth was on top, he sat down and we had a weak Vietnamese conversation. At that moment I felt the train move, I looked out the window, and we were moving. The train was leaving the station! I freaked out and ran to the exit door and told the lady conductor that my friend got off to use the bathroom and wasn't back. We were in coach 12 and I ran through the hallways, pushed people out of my way to Coach 5 (the conductor wouldn't let me continue on) to see if Stephaney might have hopped on from the back of the train. I saw no black girl. I moped back to my cabin and the conductor asked if I saw her, I said no and sat down on the berth and conjured up ways how Stephaney could survive: She had her purse on her so she had money, she had a Vietnamese phrase book so she knew how to get around, she had my cell number to tell me she was okay. Another conductor walked by our cabin and the lady conductor told him what happened, he looked unconcerned and looked to his right, and pointed. The lady conductor screamed in delight and Stephaney walked in. Turns out that while Stephaney was passing by the train to the station, people were yelling at her to get back on the train because it was moving. Apparently she managed to get on the last coach of the train while it was moving, picked one of the locked doors and used the bathroom in one of the coaches that I might have passed by when looking for her.

Later on a boy came into our cabin and had the other top berth. His English was good and was translating between us and the old man. The old man told the boy something and the boy laughed. The boy said "He says that you both lost each other, but he could see the bond between your friendship because she was so scared, like an older sister." We were all laughing.

There was one special moment on the train before losing her: We passed by a rain storm, I could barely see outside of the window, and I could make out the mountains, valleys, and rivers. Stephaney was sleeping across of me, she was dead asleep. I crouched with my knees up to my chest and gazed out the window. Even though I couldn't completely see outside I knew it was still beautiful out there. I was thinking: When will I ever see her again? When will I share this experience with someone? Why would I go back to the States when I can have this adventure over and over? Why would I leave a country this beautiful? When will this be over? It was a good train journey.

Stephaney officially admitted that she likes Hanoi, better than Saigon, HA! Best way to explain the difference between Hanoi and Saigon, is San Francisco, CA (Hanoi) and Los Angeles, CA (Saigon). I'll always love L.A., but I love Hanoi. The past 2 weeks went by so fast. We didn't waste any time at all and made sure we did everything we could. I told her that I haven't drank beer and ate so much food in a long time. AND, she conformed me to buy a $5 fake Louis Vuitton wallet and to ride on a cyclo in Hanoi. Couple of the things that I vowed myself to never buy or do.

This has been the best trip I had by far and I have never laughed so much in a long time. Bon temps. I'm very thankful for Stephaney as a friend and her visiting me. I'm sure in the future we will share our stories about this trip and all the funny random moments.

Looking back, now, and forward

2010-06-30T20:36:00.000+07:00

I went through my photos on flickr. I started to think of the things I've done in the past 15 months. I miss home...but where is home? I use to consider Nepal being home because it was so easy to fall in the Nepali lifestyle. In Ladakh, I had a nice room in a perfect location, with big windows where I could sit and watch people walk by, that I considered home. Hanoi is great to me so far and it's my home now, for the time being.

It seemed that I have left my mark in each place I've been to. I want to go back and visit the people that I have bonded and shared tea with. I want to go back to Nepal, visit the boys and monks, and see how tall they've grown. I want to go back to Ladakh and see if the classroom murals I painted had faded. I want to go back to McLeod Ganj, India, just to be in McLeod Ganj, I want to feel what I felt the first day I arrived there...butterflies.

McLeod Ganj.

I think I have accomplished what I dreamt of -for so many years- already. Being a wanderer is cool. I can easily pick up my backpack without saying Goodbye and go to a new country tomorrow if I wanted to. Knowing that I have that freedom makes me happy. I love change so much that I can't think what I will do next month.

I really encourage my readers (or whoever actually reads my entries) to be inspired by my experiences. Like, who do you know that has seen the Dalai Lama 5 times...driving or walking by you randomly? That doesn't happen. Occasionally, I would get emails from random people saying they found my blog and have been reading for a few months, and then telling me that they bought a plane ticket to South America or India to volunteer! Can you imagine how that makes me feel? Even writing this post makes me emotional. I get emails from people asking me where to volunteer and how to find a good organization, and I'll write back with tons of references, advice, stories, and personal destination favorites. This is why I blog, to inspire and help other ordinary people like me to get up and go.

One thing I learned during my trip is that appreciation and my relationship with the people I met are essential, those are the reasons why I am still here and continuing for who knows how long. For example: If my students can't fully understand the use of modal verbs, it's okay...I don't feel that I failed in teaching them. I know that one day they will understand which modal verbs to use. Even so, because I had a close relationship with them, I still feel that we both learned something: was each other. They share their lives with me and I share my life with them. That bond will never leave my memories and I hope to meet more people that will leave a mark in my heart.

First impression of Laos wasn't what I expected

2010-06-22T21:36:00.000+07:00

I like it when that happens. You have an idea before you jump into it and it's completely different...and gay. It was a very very fun week and I had a very entertaining host-ess. Guy (Somvang) or it's Somvang (Guy). I love you bitch.

Monday, June 14th I started the day early finishing the projects I had left to do in the office. For 6 hours my heart rate was uncontrollably high, to the point where I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack. I've worked under pressure many times back in L.A. But I haven't had the feeling of stress in the past 15 months. So yeah, around 2pm I had to leave the office to go back home and pack, exchange money, eat, and pick up my bus ticket. The travel agency said they lost my ticket and there weren't any space left, not even sleepers. I stared at the girl and said "This is your fault you know that?" she nodded yes and apologized. She had my cell number and could have called me but didn't. So I continued to stare at her and said that she will find me a seat because my visa will expire the next day. She started making phone calls. Okay so, I'm not a nice person, I'm really not that nice. I can be a real bitch when needed. I sat there and watched her every move so she knew I was serious and that maybe, it wouldn't be a good idea if she had to say again that there were no seats left. Oh and guess what? She found an available seat. So that wasted 20 minutes of my lunch time.

Usually I carry my knife in my pocket whenever I travel. Always. I'm always the target on the bus for being a foreigner, but when I got on the bus, no one noticed me. Duh! I look like them! Anyways, I get on the bus and it was crowded. The guy next to me asked if he could have the window and I obliged. After a while I knew why he wanted the window. We picked up hitch-hikers along the way and sat tightly in the aisle. I felt sorry for them to endure 24 hours of sleep-sitting and I let one girl rest her head on my lap to catch some snooze.

Arrived in Vientiane, Laos on Tuesday 4pm. I called Guy and told him that I was in town and we planned where to meet. So when entering in a new country, sometimes you don't have a clue on how much things are suppose to cost. Such as tuk-tuks. I didn't know how far Nanphu (landmark fountain in the town center) was from the bus station that I was dropped off at. So I negotiated with a driver and he started out with 60,000 kip (8,000 kip to our $1). I said 10,000 kip. He laughed at my face and said 50,000 kip, I said 10,000 kip. He laughed at my face and said 40,000 kip, I walked away. I found another driver and he started with 30,000 kip, I said 10,000 kip. He gave me a sad face and said 20,000, I agreed. I got on the tuk-tuk and more people got on, I asked them what the price should be from where we were to Nanphu, the locals said no more than 10,000 kip, dammit! The driver dropped everyone off (they paid him 3,000 kip) and I was the last sitting in the tuk-tuk, after a couple turns it was Nanphu. So I decided to give him $1 and a 2,000 kip, which comes out to 10,000 kip. He stared at me and said 20,000 kip. I said "Yeah I know, but then my friends told me that it should be 10,000 kip, and I think that's what I should give you. Because I'm new to this country and you're taking advantage of my ignorance, and that's really not fair." I know this is mean, but I knew he didn't know any English. He smiled and tried to put his hand down my jean pocket to find my notes. I grabbed his hand away from me and said "What are you doing?" with a smile on face. I noticed from afar that a foreigner was going to come to my rescue, but stopped and watched the whole time incase things got heavy. The driver tried to do it again and I swept his hand away, I smiled and said "I'm not going to give you another 10,000, okay thank you, bye." The driver surrendered and went back in his tuk-tuk and drove off. I saw Guy and he introduced me to his couch surfer, Michale from Italy, the foreigner that tried to save me. Michale said he was watching the whole spat and said "You handled that very well, like a professional." Gee thanks!

We went back to Guy's mansion. So here's the deal: Guy is Laotian descent but from L.A. and teaching in a university for 3 years in Vientiane. We clicked. It was like being back in L.A. with the girls! We got to his house and the last season of Ugly Betty was in the DVD player, my eyes lit and we all knew it was t.v. time. We bonded for 4 hours watching Ugly Betty until it was time for us to sleep. I slept.

The next morning Michale left to travel throughout Laos. Guy and I went out for lunch and met with a couch surfing German couple. They were a good looking sweet couple and we all clicked. I told Guy that if he liked Ugly Betty, he would probably like Glee. I saw a few episodes when I had cable t.v. back at my old guesthouse and was in love with it. Anyways, I didn't have much time to plan where I wanted to go and realized that the places I wanted to visit were too remote. Plus it was HOT to take a motorbike. Vang Vieng was the closest, I knew Vang Vieng was a party town but I didn't want to make pre-judgements. I was at a bus station and it was taking forever. It would cost 50,000 kip for a 5-hour ride, plus waiting another 2 hours for it to depart. I met a family outside of the station that was going to Vang Vieng, they said I can ride in the back of their truck full of rice sacks and a canopy cover for 20,000 kip. So I jumped in the back and fell asleep the whole way. I think we got there in 3.5 hours. They had to make a turn and dropped me off 3 km from the Vang Vieng center and I walked the rest of the way.

I past through some villages but still...I think the whole area lost it's soul. It was way way too touristy for me. It was full of Aussie kids wearing board shorts with their cracks showing, carrying water tubes. I past by many sports bars that were playing Seinfeld and Friends and blasting 10 different songs at once, like they were trying to out song each other to get customers. It was still beautiful, the scenery was nice and I had a good cheap hotel room with a nice view. But I didn't come to Laos to party or to hear Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance," Ice Cube's "You can do it," and 50 cent's "Hey Shorty" playing at once all the way till 4am. I left the next morning back to Guy's house. I would rather watch Ugly Betty over and over than to stay in Vang Vieng for another night. BUT, I will say this...if I come back to Laos, and I do go back to Vang Vieng, I will be more prepared to do the outdoor activities, I love exploring: rock climbing, caving, and swimming. It's just not what I felt like doing at that time. I wanted to relax and be at peace.

Vang Vieng

I got to Guy's house and saw his car in the drive-way. I shouted his name and I heard "What the hell?" in a high pitched voice. He was happy to see me. The German couple was still there and what do I see on the t.v. screen? GLEE!!! They got the season 1 Glee and was having a marathon.

That night we went out. There was a soccer game, German against Siberia? I don't know, Guy and I weren't interested. We were the only ones sitting away from the t.v. blabbering about Ugly Betty and being 2 obnoxious Angelinos. We met an Aussie lesbian and a young Dutch boy that thinks he knows everything. We went to a bar that had a rock 'n roll band that was performing cover songs. At the bar...the Aussie lesbian asked if I was gay. I said no and I thought maybe it was because I was so bestie with Guy? The Aussie lesbian didn't talk to me much after that. I got into a real bitch-out (2 arguing bitches) with a gay Austrian dude, that was fun...I won. And Guy and I pretty much got kicked out of English pub because some guy really wanted to see the soccer game and we were in his view...we bitched him out to relax.

Later in the night, Guy has been trying to get into the Dutch boy's pants the whole time, but the Dutch boy was trying to get into mine! I threw out obvious signals that I wasn't interested and actually had to confront him that he wasn't gonna get any of this. We all slept in separate beds.

The next morning the German couple left to Vang Vieng and I woke up to see Guy over me with breakfast. I had 4 hours of sleep and had a small hangover. I ate the pineapple but couldn't eat the eggs with mushrooms and bacon, I so wanted to! Afterwards, we dropped off the Dutch boy somewhere...thank Goodness, and Guy and I got massages. After lunch we planned on what to do that day: Snack binge, Glee, and Cycle 14 of America's Next Top Model. Oh and picked up an couch surfer Aussie bicyclist.

After one more massage, singing Glee songs, snack binges, Glee again to educate the Aussie bicyclist, my week had to end. I missed Hanoi. So I got my new Vietnam visa and went on another 24-hour journey back. I'm going to enjoy this year very much.

Officially an Expat, no longer a Nomad

2010-06-08T10:32:00.000+07:00

I've decided to stay in Hanoi, Vietnam for a YEAR. Before you even think, it's not for a guy, okay?! The thought came out of nowhere, I asked my boss from the organization if there was a way for me to stay long-term and bada bing bada boom, year contract. I'm happy and scared at the same time. I love change, but this is more like a commitment. I'm scared of commitments at the moment, but I'm always up for a challenge.

I'm so use to moving around after a few months, living out of my backpack, and now I'm going to live here. I'm already set up with an awesome house and a bicycle, and I just can't wait to be officially admitted to East Meets West organization.

I like Hanoi a lot. If I like a place and I'm able to get a visa without complications, then yeah...I'd love to work there for a year. For example: Nepal or Cambodia, if someone asked me to work for them for a year, to be paid that is livable, and the ability to get a visa whenever I want, why not? That's exactly what I'm doing. It's totally spontaneous and I love it. I like my friend circle, we're all so similar; artsy. They all come from different countries. Lots of them just came to visit and ended up staying for 5 years. Could that happen to me? (Don't be scared dad, it's just a thought). Some of them had told me to not leave them and that I should stay in Hanoi. I hear something like this all the time wherever I volunteer at, however it was never easy to do so. But since it's easy to get a visa by neighboring countries that is a 16 hour drive away and everything I need is right here, then it fits. It makes perfect sense for me to stay.

I'm going to be part-time with EMW but paid more and I'm planning on finding a teaching job part-time as well. I really think I'm going to enjoy this a lot and the funds will be enough for me to survive in the city. I love what I'm designing for EMW and I will be teaching English, 2 of the things I wanted to do during this trip. Yeah yeah, so I'm not teaching for free to unprivileged orphans in a village, but I'm still helping. I'm supporting the disabilities of Vietnam and teaching English to people who need it. Yes I admit that I'm also doing this for the money, I've been surviving on my savings (that I earned on my own) for the past year and 3 months, who has that kind of money to begin with? Plus, I want to stay in Asia still after my year contract is over...I'm going to need the funds then. This is the perfect time to have a paying job. I have enough experience to deserve this.

I'm glad that my parents are happy for me. My dad sent me a secret parcel to my office. He read one of my old blogs that said I was craving Spicy Nacho Doritos, so he sent me a box of junk food, all flamin' hot flavored, also one tank top, 3-pack teriyaki beef jerky, and a letter from my financial aid reminding me how much I owe (this was 'dropped' in the box by my Mom I know it).

I'm leaving next week to Laos to get another 3 month visa. I think I will stay there for a week to travel around, then I would have to go back to Hanoi to finish up a few projects.

That's it guys. I'm going to do this and I'm happy. VISIT ME!

Asian Tourist! And a few other things...

2010-05-30T12:33:00.000+07:00

I finally did something touristy, I wore a hat, had a Nikon SLR camera tied around my neck, and followed a man with a flag. I went to Halong Bay with a tour with a Thai family which seems to me that was a family reunion, and one other solo traveler from Korea. Halong Bay was beautiful, but getting there was tiring, I almost forgot how tiring it is to do a day trip. I miss going back to traveling mode.

My Vietnam visa is almost up, so I'm soaking in my last 2 weeks here. I got plenty of fun and work to finish. A little nervous on getting my design projects done by the 12th, but I think I can.

My mind is changing a lot. For a while I knew I was going to go to middle of Vietnam because I wanted to be back into the country side, no more cities for me! But now that I have a good circle here in Hanoi...I kind of don't want to leave it. I'm making new friends just about everyday, it would be so sad to leave. Ugh! I don't know what to do!

Oh, I'm feelin' boy crazy now, found a good one recently...gonna go with the flow.

Paul! I know you're reading this, come back for che poufias!

I am in Vietnam

2010-05-10T10:18:00.000+07:00

It's 8:00 pm and I'm laying on my bed in my underwear like a pancake, under the fan on high. It's hot, humid, and sticky. But I'm not going to complain because this is the beginning of the hot/wet season and the weather will get worse, in all aspects. I finally get up because my eyes start to get sleepy and I should get something eat. I contemplate every night where to have dinner. I can afford to eat at street vendors but I'm really picky which one. I've eaten at many many pho (noodle soup) stalls and there is only one vendor I like. It's out of my way, I would have to walk through a sea of tourists and mingling locals in the busy part of the Old Quarters. But I decide that I really want to eat pho.

I put on my shorts, tanktop, grab my bag and room key, and I set off. I step 4 flights down the building and walk through a 30ft long dark narrow hallway, and the only thing that lights up the hallway is the outside street lights. I pass by a kitchen of a household and I smell home-made cooking - garlic and cooked pork - I think of my mom. I pass by a tattoo shop and there I see the friends of the owners watching t.v., and smoking cigarettes. I reach outside and there are children playing badminton on the sidewalk. I take a right to get me to the main road. I passed by a fruit seller laying on his hammock that is tied between a street sign pole and a light pole, he is a sleep, I can easily take a pineapple without him noticing, but of course I don't.

I say chao (hello) to my usual xe-om drivers that chill out on that corner, lounging on their motorcycles waiting for customers. They always say hi to me, even when I'm across the street walking a different direction, they shout "Hi May!" I wave back and this probably makes their day. I take a left around the corner and I pass by a bakery that I go to almost every night to get a tiny cup of chilled caramel that costs 30 cents. But tonight I don't feel like having any. The bakery owner is sitting on the steps drinking tra dang (bitter ice tea), she sees that I'm coming and she gets up and walks to the back of the dessert display, I quickly tell her "khong, khong" (no, no) she realizes that I was just walking by and didn't want any caramel. When she sits back down on the steps, she says "Hen Gap Lai." For the longest time I had no idea what that meant, I always smiled and said bye. I've been taking Vietnamese classes and realized that she was saying "See you again." Then tonight, I said it back.

After the bakery I make a right, I have to pass by maybe 3 blocks until I make another turn. This street is full of hand-made decor, wooden furnitures, brass statues of buddha, straw baskets and tables. When I cross an intersection I constantly look left, right, left, right, so I don't get hit by moped. I look left, right, left, and then right, I take 2 steps a time, and still look left, and right. I let one moped go by and take 2 steps, let one go again, and when I thought I was in the clear; a moped sniped me from the left, my left hand hurts from the snipe, but I get over it and continue walking. I get to the end and I take a left, at the left corner there is a well-known bia hoi (cheap beer) stall, sitting in tiny plastic chairs for toddlers and chatting over plastic picnic tables are locals, drinking, smoking, and laughing. In another table are 2 foreigners eating cha gio (spring rolls), and the last table are 4 girls drinking tra dang, gossiping, and playing with their babies on their laps.

After that corner I make a quick right and I know I'm getting closer to the center...tourists in cyclos. Cyclos are kind of like rickshaws, but these aren't for convenient transportation purposes, they go really slow, and can only fit 1 person. The whole point of them are for lazy tourists to look around the old quarters instead of walking, so ridiculous. Anyways, on a Sunday night, there is an open flea market on one long steet. Packed of cheap trinkets like sunglasses, baby clothes, hair accessories, and purses. I'm a fast walker and I can't stand girls (usually 3 or 4) that lock on each others arms and walk slowly on the sides of the stalls. They block my path and I get annoyed. I go to one side and I say xin loi (sorry or excuse me). I go pass and I'm almost to my favorite pho vendor, 3 more blocks I think to myself. More dodging mopeds, more refusals to ride on a cyclo, and I turn into a dark street that is usually a fresh food market in the day. At night it's dark, secluded, wet, with scurring rats. I get to the pho vendor. The workers recognize me, they probably know me as 'the girl that looks Vietnamese but isn't', and that likes pho ga without green onion and mint. I sit down without ordering and my bowl of noodle soup with no green sets in front of me. I pick up wooden chopsticks from a tray and check if it has the same width from one end to the other, pick up a spoon, clean it with my fingers, and I dig in.

I am sweating now, the hot soup and the weather is not a good combination, but I still love it. I wipe my forehead after I am done, give the owner $1 and we both say Goodbye. I take a different route to get back home. More dodging mopeds, refusal for cyclos, and refusal for bootleg dvds, I see a bubble tea stall. It's really hot and I thought that maybe I should treat myself to an iced coconut drink with tapioca. I have my 80 cent drink in a to-go cup and I walk to the main round-about of the Old Quarters. It is packed. A lot of people coming from their walks around the Hoan Kiem lake or coming from the open market. Scattered, are local vendors selling boiled corn cobs, sliced pineapple and watermelon, carved coconuts with straws, sweet breaded buns, baguettes, and tiny plums, all sellers wearing cone-shaped strawed hats. I decide to walk on the street because the sidewalk had too many people. I felt a drop on my neck and I thought it was my sweat, then I realized that it was rain. One by one, a drop, drop, drop. Lightening strucked, the sky was clear today, and seeing the lightening above me was so cool, it was huge. I continue walking and glancing at the black sky hoping to see more lightening. Kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, thunder. I walk slower. More drops are falling and I notice some moped drivers stopping to put on their rain coats, people are running past by me, stores are hauling in their street signs inside, food vendors are covering their breads, and products by plastic tarps.

The rain is falling hard now, but I still stay on the street. The rain felt so good in the heat. I think I was in my own element. Everything felt so good, the rain dropping on my face, neck, shoulders, and chest, the air-con wind as I pass by an open door of a hipster clothing store or cell-phone shop. More and more people are frantically running past me to either get home, or under any overhead from being wet. Vietnamese shirt-less men are sitting on their haunches, or on tiny chairs drinking tra dang, smoking cigarettes, watch me as I walk by. I think they're wondering why I have this dreamy look on my face. Stores are closing; they pull down the metal sheath that crashes down to the bottom, and secure it with a padlock. A moped driver comes out of nowhere from a building with his wife on the back, she is holding her baby, she puts a hat over the baby's head, and she holds it tightly before they ride into the busy street. I wanted to do something drastic and cliche; I wanted to stand still, close my eyes, lift my head up, and exhale. My body felt like I was on drugs. I don't do what I want, but I wish I did. I continue walking and I see people under tarps afraid to walk into the rain. They look at me like I'm crazy, like Who is this person walking in the rain, not caring at all? That is exactly who I am. I pass by the corner that had the xe-om drivers and the sleepy fruit seller. The xe-om drivers are gone and the fruit seller was still sleeping on his hammock. I think he woke up from the rain, put a plastic tarp over his fruit and himself between the 2 poles, and went back to sleep, he looked so peaceful. I went through the long dark narrow hallway, the only thing lit are the doors to my guesthouse at the end, the tattoo shop is closed, I pass by the house-hold kitchen window and the mother and daughter are cleaning the dishes. I open the doors and I see one of the female workers watching t.v., she looks at me up and down...smiles and says "mua!" (rain). She did a hand gesture of falling rain and we were both giggling about my drenched hair and tank top.

I climb 4 flights of stairs to my room, turned on a low light, took a cold shower, and laid on my bed. I listen to the heavy rain hit the roofs of the houses below my window, I can see lightening blinking through my curtains, I finish my coconut drink, and I turn on my laptop. I begin to type. I am in Vietnam.

Love Story I

2010-05-03T14:44:00.000+07:00

I wasn't ever going to blog about my personal relationships because I wanted that part to be private. I didn't want to display EVERYTHING to public. It was hard enough for me to even have a blog to begin with but I'm sticking to it. Anyways, I thought about it; this travel blog wouldn't be real if I didn't include my relationships, it's all part of my experience.

First off, I'm here for volunteering. It's my #1 priority and no guy is ever going to get in the way. I DO NOT want a serious relationship, I'm not looking for it. But, if I meet someone so amazing, and my feelings are uncontrollable, then that's a whole different love story, I'd go for it.

A tiny story before I begin my real story, last year in India, I was leaving Rishikesh on an hour bus ride to Haridwar to catch an overnight bus out of India to Nepal. I got to the bus stand and the public bus was already leaving, I ran after it and yelled for it to stop. I got on and walked to the back and there I found another sole traveler...a Portuguese. After 10 minutes of talking, instant attraction, I thought to myself hmm...maybe. One great hour of laughing and not wasting a minute had passed, we arrived in Haridwar, I had a couple hours to get to my bus and he had a few for his train to Delhi and Goa onwards. We had little time for tea and I had to leave. Honestly...there was chemistry, we both felt it (I know this because he told me). He kissed me on the cheek and we exchanged emails. Karma baby. If my Indian visa needn't to expire, I would've ran away with him to Goa after knowing him for one hour. See?? I can be romantic!

Ahem...as proof that my work is so important and not here for bootay, I didn't have es-ee-ex in one year. I know (staring at the ground) I know...I know. Don't feel sorry for me just yet, the seal is finally broken, frustration won.

I have been unattached for 3 years because of my dream volunteer trip. More than half of the guys I dated wanted a committed relationship. Results: being a heartbreaker. I have never been dumped before and someone once told me that it will happen one day, everyone will know what it's like to have a broken heart (egh). I admit I have a fear of commitment, maybe from being hurt or falling in love. Either way, my purpose being in Asia is my boyfriend, my relationship, my love.

Now I'll share my actual love story. I met a guy over a month ago for 2 seconds at a music performance. Let's call him Smirnoff. I was with my friend Paul, after the show we were about to leave when Smirnoff came to talk to Paul. They were talking and I was standing near them, I saw him and there was something interesting. The way he spoke and how he glanced at me a few times, was HOT. Then Paul finally introduced us after their conversation, Smirnoff and I shook hands, and didn't take our eyes off each other until I turned around and left. I wanted to know what he was about but I walked away (damn!). I woke up the next morning thinking about him, in my mind I was like 'oh well, never going to see him again.' I told another friend (Hi Cheeky!) that I saw a cute guy the night before, she asked me to describe him and what his name was. It turns out that he's HER EX-BOYFRIEND! Good thing that conversation was all through instant messaging, she didn't get to see my mortified face! I apologized profusely, I felt so dirty, and almost Denise Richards. But she said it was all fine and they are good friends now, she actually messaged him that I was interested and gave him my mobile number. I was back in high school all of a sudden. So he met up with me at a coffee shop where I was working, it was really awkward because it felt like we were forced to meet up. The meeting went fine, but I felt like nothing was there, and as he was leaving, he stuck out his hand for a handshake....a handshake! That hurt my ego.

I didn't talk to him for a week and I was surprised to receive his text before the weekend. We met up and hung out in the afternoon. He's a smart man, very mature, and very interesting. I was intrigued by him, it kept me wanting to talk to him more. We got into a deep conversation about what we wanted in the next few months. I was going to do my own thing and follow where my next job will be. It can be in Laos, middle of Vietnam, or Saigon, wherever. He was going to Danang (middle Vietnam) and continue teaching English. I thought there and then, that we were on the same page; it will never work out, what's the point? (I was not going to adjust my plans for anyone).

We continued to see each other, not much though, he and I were very busy, especially him. Anyhow, I'm a 'go with the flow' type of dater. But Smirnoff...was committed to having me, he moved quickly, physically and mentally (I was not). He told me to run away with him to Danang (whoa). When he said that, I think I did the whole nervous chuckle and fake smile, did he think I was The One for him or something? He kept telling me how beautiful I was, the perfect type of woman for him, etc. It freaked me out. I'm not a girly girl, I think like a guy. I'm always the guy in the relationship, my past 2 serious relationships I was the one that wanted to avoid being serious, the one to be yelled at for not 'appreciating' or showing enough 'affection.' I got bitched at a lot and I was always like 'oh my god, shut up, stop complaining!' I'm not going to change, possibly someday someone can change that (pffff). So yeah, it was too soon for me to hear all that. It was hard for me to believe what he was saying because we didn't know each other. I didn't feel the same, he managed to convince me that he knew me and what I was all about, but I didn't know him.

If he slowed down...a lot, it would have been great. But friday night at dinner I told him that I didn't think I could handle having a partner right now. (I think I said it too bluntly, I know I need to work on the way I speak my words, it always sounds too harsh). He playfully threw his crumbled napkin at me and said he hated me. It was hard looking into his silent smiling eyes. We ended the night (Vietnam's Liberation Holiday) with a walk around a park, watching fireworks, deep conversing, and smooching. I couldn't stop thinking that he would have adjusted his plans for me, he would have moved to wherever I was going. I wasn't ready for that. I thought that if I was able to have a serious relationship, the guy would have to be doing what I was doing (volunteer, expat, etc.), someone who understands and respects my priorities. Smirnoff was doing that, he can teach English wherever he wants, apparently I couldn't hack it. He came over the next morning and brought me a gift. He got me a bottled beer (aww, he knew I liked beer) and a small sketch book, with a coal pencil and eraser. I was surprised by the gift. I rejected him and he gave me gift. Guilty much? Same day, that afternoon, I received a text that he was okay with having a friendship and not continuing any further. I appreciate him taking this maturely and not dramatically. Sometimes I feel like I do want to be with him, but if my feelings or attraction aren't moving deeper, then I'm just wasting both of our times. Or maybe my dreams and goals are preventing me from having a partner. That's okay I guess.

Chasing Dreams.

'I can't fight this feeling anymore' by Reo Speedwagon is literally playing inside the cafe as I'm writing this, no joke, and no it's not Smirnoff holding up a boombox over his head.

Boom Boom

2010-04-29T18:41:00.000+07:00

I hate this term. I hate it. I think I was watching Dateline several years ago about child prostitution in Cambodia. The term Boom Boom is used meaning sex. The term is used here in Vietnam as well.

One of the first facts I learned being here was that men are very flirty. Apparently it's normal. I didn't think it was normal back at my old guesthouse when I saw a peep hole in my bathroom and one of the staff constantly asking me to join him in his room, but really?? When that kid asked me such a question to join him, I stared at this little kid, skinny, baby features, wearing skinny jeans; I just gave him a look that said ' are you serious?' Like...does that really work for him? Has a guest ever said Yes? It's like I was in India all over again.

Anyways...the other day I was waiting for my friends outside a restaurant. A boy stopped near me on his motorbike, he whistled and I continued to look the other way. He whistled some more, no response. He started clapping and shouted 'em oi! em oi! OI!!' I was still staring the other side of the road. He got off his motorbike and I thought 'Oh no, he is not going to come up to me.' He came up to me and asked where I was from. Lazily I said USA. He stared at me and said 'You like to Boom Boom?' Okay, there is no other meaning for this term! I know Boom Boom isn't used for an energy drink, do drugs, or to disco dance, he meant what he friggin' meant. I gave him the look. Every woman has one. The look that gives the Up & Down that translates to puhhhhleeeeeze. He then goes 'ok,' hops on his bike and rides away. The nerve!

Okay, enough of booming and onto a positive note. I recently got a new design project. I'm helping out with an organization called Just Massage. This lady, Thanh, trains women with disabilities (blind or hearing impaired) massage therapy. This is great for the students because many people with disabilities are unable to get a job of any sort. These women are from outside of Hanoi and gets to learn and live free of cost while they're in training. The massage center opens end of this summer, so I have enough time to get the website, and all the corporate branding ready then. AND!! I get free massages as a practice dummy. I had one today by a sweet girl named Lan.

Today I saw a bug that looked like a centipede-millipede whatever, snail-like antennas, and a furry mouth. In my room, NEXT TO MY BED!! I'm not going to sleep well tonight.

Tattoo #4

2010-04-25T17:53:00.000+07:00

Heehahaheeheehaha...uh...so tattoo #4. This was very spontaneous. But most of you know that I am spontaneous. I wrote it myself and I think I got it because the tattooist charged me $5 for being a bad ass chick. It didn't hurt, it tickled. yup.

I went with my friend Lan Anh. She got some cute birds flying around her bicep. I drew some birds for her if she needed some inspiration, I drew them the way I imagined them to be, chubby fish birds. But I'm glad she didn't tattoo the birds I drew, I don't think I can live knowing someone actually tattooed something I created. I think graphic artists and tattoo artists are 2 different forms. Still cute though. I like them.

tweet, tweet, tweet.

The past week, work has been slow. So I've been trying to find new work to do while the company is on downtime. (Maybe that's why I got the tattoo?) Anyways, I've started a new blog post about helping volunteers look for legit organizations from the internet in South East Asia. In a couple days I will post it on all travel/job sites, hopefully this can help other people like me find a good volunteer job instead of being ripped off by money-grubbing NGO's. I know, I'm so nice.

Speaking of 'nice.' I'm writing this blog post on my new Vaio laptop. Stephaney got it for MEEEE. Also thanks to Zac and Sal for adding tons of new music on it. Best gift ever, what does YOUR best friend give you??

P.S. I'm craving Spicy Nacho Doritos.

Living in Hanoi, Vietnam

2010-04-18T13:46:00.000+07:00

Man, it really feels like I'm back in L.A., it's cool...but not that cool, but still cool. I'm working in a huge NGO, I have my own xe-om (motorbike taxi) drivers, happy hour after work, attending music/art shows, and then dating?? Been a while, but I still got game, I think it's the tattoos.

Past few weeks I have been designing all the signage for an exhibition campaign in Ho Chi Minh City (South Vietnam, I like calling it Saigon), incase you forgot, I am living in Hanoi (North Vietnam). Flew out of Hanoi with two co-workers to Saigon for five days preparing the campaign. This campaign is to help promote awareness and raise funds for the disabilities in Vietnam. We feature 10 organizations from around Vietnam. We had celebrities, ambassadors, and sponsors coming in, so it was a huge success. The communications team seemed happy with the outcome, and with me. As a result, it was good for me to network on finding volunteer opportunities when I come back. Good hook-ups. These people can give me contacts all over Vietnam.

Face for Handicap International Organization

East Meets West Booth

This helped plan my future in Vietnam but also my career; I had an exhibition class in art college, but never got to do it professionally. So I learned a lot, worked hard, and I got to see my art displayed. I'll admit I wish I could have change the whole art that was already chosen by their old designer, oh well...I think I made it look better than before. All in all, we (Chau, Lan Anh, and I) worked our asses off, little sleep, ate food late in the night, worked so hard to the point where we were talking stupid.

Finishing up Saigon; flight delayed again! Went to the War Museum, ate at the best sushi bar in the city, went to Wrap 'n Roll for the first time, attended an Art Talk featuring Tuan Andrew Nguyen, had a French dinner with French people I didn't speak to, noticed on FB status's that Coachella was this weekend...as a replacement I went to MTV Exit concert featuring our organization, music sucked! Who the hell is this American band The Click 5??

What I learned so far in Hanoi:
-A lot of Vietnamese people here think they're awesome and important than you, and try really hard to show who's a better person in everything (mainly alcohol tolerance and fashion)...sounds like L.A.
-If you have an argument with a local trying to rip you off, it's pretty much a 'who can yell the loudest?' situation. So 'hanoi-ing.' Thanks bro.
-Hanoi is a big city, but small, seems as though all the expats know all the other expats. And those expats know a lot of cool Vietnamese people that are also friends with the other expats. So it's one big circle.
-No one knows English and I'm having a hard time learning it.
-They all eat with their mouths open...do not give a Vietnamese person chewing gum (smacking, sloppy sounds...pet peeve).
-This is the first country where I eat street food everyday and have not been to 1 western restaurant yet.

Soon I will write a blog about volunteering in Vietnam. Because it was so hard to find a legit organization that doesn't rip volunteers off!! For example, I visited a temple that helps raise children with disabilities that have been abandoned by their parents. The organization that funds for this is a huge company with plenty of volunteers all the time. But...the volunteer has to pay $270.00 a month (basic food/dorm accommodation). On my own, I spent $230 this month, and that's including drinking nights, dinners, splurges, transportation, and my own room. Yeah, that's what I mean by rip-off. I'm going to keep helping the world and other people that wants to do the same.

-sigh- I love what I'm doing.

One Year Anniversary

2010-03-31T18:05:00.001+07:00

I've fallen in love, with Vietnam. Ha! You thought I meant a man huh? Shaaaaa, like that will ever happen. Anyways, Happy Birthday Daddy!!!!! OK, back to original note, one year...since I left home. It's been a year, and I'm in my 3rd country.

Before I left the US, I told everyone that I would be gone for about a year; 3 months Nepal, 3 months Vietnam, 3 months Laos, 3 months Cambodia=1 year. Look at what happened; 5 months Nepal, 7 months India (India wasn't in the plan!) and I'm lovin' Vietnam. I want to stay here for maybe 6 months, there are a lot of opportunities here, and lots of great food.

When I arrived in Vietnam, it was like culture shock. I mean, I traveled to South East Asia before, and I knew what to expect. But I think being in India/Nepal/Bangladesh for a year, with the same kind of culture and atmosphere, the change was difficult to adjust. I was also extremely tired, I had an early flight to Hanoi from the Bangkok airport so I slept there...in the airport, but the lights were too damn bright to sleep. The first day was raining, hot, foggy, and humid. I had never seen so many mopeds in my life. Oh, and they're Asian; asian asian. I blend.

Currently I'm volunteering for East Meets West Foundation, I am the "Creative Consultant and Graphic Designer" volunteer. This foundation raises money for people with disabilities, 11% of the Vietnamese population are disabled. This is cool because now I get to work on my professional experience, which I haven't done in a while.

Here's my budget plan: $5/room. $3/food. So $8 a day. I live on pho, egg rolls, and kebabs, the cheapest food here, and I'm allowed to splurge one day a week (I found a Pinkberry-ish frozen yogurt shop). However, if I travel to work on a xe om (motorbike taxi) then that's $2/roundtrip. So then I spend less on food, I would eat plain pho, or a pastry. Sounds poor, but I am poor. Not sure how long I can stay here, Hanoi is pretty expensive, compared to India. I think on my second part of Vietnam I will travel to the country side and find an orphanage (I hope there isn't frozen yogurt there). BUT!! I can have a beer in the afternoon, like a snack. It costs $1, it fits in my budget.

Alright kids, my crazy adventure continues. Miss you all. By the way, which one of you unemployed are going to visit me in South East Asia? I have a few hopefuls planning already.

India...Over it.

2010-03-10T22:32:00.000+07:00

I'm so happy to leave. I don't think I can handle India for another 4 months. Not happy to leave like...leaving Bangladesh. Bangladesh I pretty much stuck up my middle finger towards the country and shouted "Fuck You Bangladesh, Fuck YOU!" I don't feel that way for India. I had good and bad times, I'm still glad I went to all the places I wanted to visit, met great Indians, and had valuable experiences. But it isn't my country. 6.5 months is enough.

After my family left, I went straight to Jaisalmer, Rajasthan. I rode on a camel, a camel! Not a smooth ride though, my butt hurt so much afterwards, I even got blisters on my buttocks. Slept on the sand in the Ganga desert, stared at the countless stars, and saw 3 yellow (very poisonous) scorpions under my pillow.

camel trek

Jodhpur, nice place, didn't stay too long. Udaipur, LOVED IT. There's something relaxing and chill about this city, I like the small streets guiding to different directions and finding yourself on some ghat to the lake. In Bundi now, and I have about 2 days until my flight to Bangkok, and then Hanoi Vietnam.

One of the biggest quirks of India is the sexual and racial harassment I receive. The whole "Hey Japan girl, come here!" "Ooh, sexy Korean" "Hi, I loooooooooove you." "Mushi Mushi!" "Chingo!" Not to mention, the accidental 'boob bumps,' the 'passerby butt grabs' and them staring directly at my tits and ass. Oh my god, I can't stand it. For the longest time I had the patience to ignore them, but the past 2 months I have been either cussing them out (most popular), punching them in the chest (love this one) or lecturing them that to some foreigners it can be offensive. Most of their responses are like "You are all the same, Japan, Korean, same." This pissed me off, but I said in return "Same same, but different." So, first off: I'm Chinese. Thanks. I wished that I could walk around with a mask. Even if I wear non-skinny jeans, a sweatshirt with my hoodie pulled over, I still get catcalls. I get hassled 20 times a day, everyday. By now, I'm sick of it. What I like about other Asian countries like Nepal, or around South East Asia; is that I look like them, I can walk around without being noticed.

I know I know, it isn't their fault. I am from America, where a lot of us are sensitive to racial issues, and TRY to be politically correct. However, it can still ruin my experience. I've grown to deal with it for 4 months, but now I just don't have any left.

Things I will always hate about India:
-Blasting horrible Hindi music from their cell phones, sometimes 10 phones at once. Somehow, they like to play them on overnight trains and buses at 3am. "Noise Pollution"
-The honking, this is the worst I've heard in my experience in traveling. Especially those motorbike jerks that hold the horn down the entire time.
-Men scratching their balls in front of my face on the bus.
-When I want to get away from India, but realize that I can't and am still here.

Things I will always love about India:
-Their faith, seeing the pilgrims devote their spirits in the ghats, or temples. Watching them touch cows with their fingers and then onto their foreheads. Numerous foreheads with tikka dots.
-Walking through non-touristy villages and families offering me chai.
-Bargaining with rick-shaw drivers for 5 minutes and having them yell out "Why like this?"
-All the friendly people I meet on trains.
-Women wearing saris.
-Not being able to use the head-waggle, it grows on you!
-The curiosity and interest people have of where I come from.

India has truly been the most toughest country to travel in and I will never forget it.

Fambam in India

2010-02-28T20:23:00.000+07:00

It went by too quickly. It felt like I just saw my brother for the first time coming out of the train station yesterday. When I did see him when he came to Goa, I was emotionally overjoyed. I've been having a hard time saying Goodbyes and seeing my brother Brian, the closest human being to me, was one of my best moments. That definitely prepared me well before seeing my mother short time later. The past 2 weeks were wonderful, good times, classic one-liners from my mom, and hilarious videos to post.

Goa...is alright. It isn't 'da bomb!' It was relaxing and kind of romantic. But I did want to go there for the Headphone Party, I heard so much about it traveling. Basically, you go to a club and they give you wireless headphones with 3 LED stations on the sides, and you can click to choose which of the 3 DJ's you want to hear. You can also see what other people were hearing by seeing the color of the light on the headphones. I think they do this so people can dance till 4am without closing the club down cause of the loud music? Who cares, brilliant idea, great music. However...there was a terrorist attack; a bomb went off in a German Bakery in Pune, 13 hours north of where we were. The club had to close at 12 am. My brother and I were already drunk when we got there at 10:30 pm!! So the party was fun while it lasted.

Goa headphone party

Delhi - Brian and I got to our hotel in Connaught Place, way too expensive but I didn't know where else to take my mom. I wanted her to feel comfortable on her first day in India. I knew she wouldn't freak out, cause I think China and India is pretty much the same, but India with Indians. Anyways, she did well throughout the whole trip, but I feel like she didn't like it much. She liked the Taj Mahal, she liked Pushkar, and was very happy when she bought 40 mini door knobs for less than $10. I think that was all of her highlights of India. And seeing of me of course.

mommy

Jaipur - Not so great, didn't like it at all. It was actually the most aggressive place I've ever been to in India. All the touts were crazy...all the rickshaw drivers following us for a ride, it's like 'No! I don't want a rickshaw! I want to walk!' or 'I do not want a peacock feather fan!' or 'I don't want a Pashmina!' Not to mention I am EXTREMELY protective over my mother, but she handled herself well with the aggressiveness. One night walking 2 blocks to a restaurant, about a fazillion rickshaw drivers stopped us, she held on to my brothers arm and said "Are we rabbits in the jungle?" Yes mom...we are, we are rabbits in the jungle, they're going to eat us alive!

Top 10 highlights of the past 2 weeks:
1. Huge lizard in the toilet
2. Brother fainting...you can't hydrate with alcohol!
3. Motor Bike Day "Brian! You have to use your horn!"
4. Great Wall of China sand castle
5. Dirty smelly sock fight with mom
6. Discovering mom will only eat banana pancakes than Indian food
7. The mysterious stolen 20 Thai Bhat from our room
8. Mom getting a really bad henna tattoo
9. I was worried about my bladder infection at the hospital while Mom and Brian were happy to buy 6 prescription glasses for $6 each.
10. Mom letting Brian and I have a Bhang Tea.

Top 10 lines from my mom:
1. "How much does it cost? 10 pesos?"
2. "But I haven't seen any monkeys." - she thought Jaipurs' City Palace was the Monkey Temple
3. "Wow, there's a lot of dogs here too."
4. "This is the NICE city of Delhi?" While walking around Connaught Place
5. "You know, Indians look like Mexicans." while watching t.v.
6. "You look Indian now Mei!" when she saw me at the airport with my dark tan.
7. "If you give me a bad massage, I will kick you." she said to the massagist in Pushkar
8. "I liked to bite your butt when you were little, it looked like...a tiny...cookie."
9. "Where is Brian? I hope he didn't pass out somewhere." Moments after Brian and I taking Bhang Tea.
10. "You're going to look like me!" After I told her she's starting to look like Grandma.

Me & India

2010-01-26T14:33:00.000+07:00

Been in India for a few weeks now. Crossed the border by foot, so far so good. I'll recap the cities:

Varanasi: Way cool, cold and foggy. It was still nice, the mist made the whole area mysterious. Visited the burning ghats, saw dead bodies being burnt, smelled gross. Slipped on cow poop, not so great. If you like to walk aimlessly through narrow streets and get lost, this is the best place. Overall enjoyed it!

Kolkata: Met a sweet Bengali family on the night train. The daughter, Ambika called me sister and wanted to sleep with me on my berth. The father didn't mind and he treated me as if I was his daughter. He gave us ice cream! He even dropped me off by taxi to make sure I got to my hotel safely and wouldn't let me pay. OH YEAH...Can't make it out alive in India without traveller's diarrhoea!! Got sick for a few days and missed my 2 day train to Trivandrum, Kerala. Spent 4 days in Kolkata vomiting, pooping, body aching, chills, and fever. All I did was went to the Indian museum and visited Mother Teresa's house.
ambika and taxi driver.

Hampi: WOW! Love this place. It was awesome to get away from the honking, or any street noise. Also, got my first mosquito bites in 5 months, good 5 months it was. Took a day tour around the temples, climbed up a hill, sipped coconut lassis, and read books. A great place to relax and read a book.

OH YEAH, one day I was walking towards the Monkey Temple, which was quite far but willing to walk it. An auto-rickshaw driver passed by me and offered me a free ride cause he was doing deliveries there anyway - sometimes this happens, there are NICE Indian people out there that do give me free rides in the day time when my stop is a long their route.- So I made sure that it was free and that I was not going to give him money, he said Yeah Yeah. Before I got in I told him I was married -I always do this with Indian men, my husband is American, his name is Mark, and we manufacture clothes in Delhi for 6 months.- He then asked where my ring was, I told him that I never wear nice jewelry when travelling in India, he nodded in agreement. Anyways, he takes me to the temple, and then offered me a ride back to where he picked me up, I made sure if it was for free again and he said yes, on the ride back, he asked "You know fucking?" I gazed from outside of the rickshaw towards his eyes and I said "I know what?" he turns his head around and asked again, "You know fuck-ing?" I blurted out "Yes I know what it is, WHAT ABOUT IT!?" He turns back facing to the road and says "Well, I mean...I give you a free ride and-" I cut him off and yell out "No no, stop...STOP!" He stops the rickshaw, I get out, and walked back. What a Madachudh! (Motherfucker in Hindi, ma-da-chood, I love it, gives me the same feeling when I say the English version).

Kerala, Cochin: Another place to relax. But damn it's fucking hot. I arrived at 4am and I was already sweating and getting bitten by mosquitoes, no bueno. I also like the locals, they stare at me in a friendly way. Not in a 'I want to have sex with you' or 'you look like an alien,' type of looks. The food is good, it's by the seashore so I'm eating seafood, Keralan style. In the mornings I eat Masala Dosas, famous South Indian dish, they're like burritos but instead of a tortilla, it's wrapped in a crepe, with curry sauces on the side. In a few days I'll travel through out the backwaters and in the villages, should be grand.

Anyways, got another couple of weeks until my brother comes! Yay, brother!

Nepal Prt 3. Emo Time

2010-01-08T20:57:00.000+07:00

I got my visa! Phwoar! It's about time. Now I can start traveling. I wasted a couple of weeks, but oh well, all this is an experience and part of traveling. I'm leaving in a couple days to Varanasi.

So I was a bit emo the past few weeks. Mainly leaving the boys and knowing that I won't come back to Nepal. Nepal is my #2 favorite country. (Cambodia being #1) When I came back I couldn't see the boys. I was told that it would be too difficult to handle another Goodbye when I was there for only a week. I completely agree because it was a tough Goodbye last week. The kids kept asking me if I would come back again, and I had to tell them No. A volunteer from the same house said that the day after my departure, the boys were sad and were in bad moods. I was surprised. Before I came to Asia I was worried that I wouldn't effect anyone. As in, making a difference, even a small one. I remember writing something like this in my cover letters; I'm not trying to change the whole world, if I can help ONE person, inspire them, make them happy, or to even share a friendship, that would be enough for me. One person is good enough.

Now that I'm back and hearing how the boys were when I left. It touched me. I always wanted to know if my time there mattered at all when I left last summer. I thought they would forget me. Now I know...that I had effected most of them, and it became emotional. I was afraid of that part. Saying Goodbye to them was very sad, I felt like we were all trying to fight back our tears. I'm just so glad that my time so far was meaningful to me and to them.

Goodbye Bangladesh

2009-12-31T14:00:00.000+07:00

And good riddance. My India visa application was rejected. I'm a tourist! I'm not looking for a job in India! What a douche. I tried calling the foreign visa officer personally and he hangs up on me, not willing to hear me out. The US embassy can't help me because they have a week holiday until Sunday. I'm not waiting anymore.

I could have gone to the Banderbans, the border of Burma, which sounds amazing where there are Burmese tribes. But I couldn't go because of this stupid visa issue. It was either apply for the India visa and wait 3 days to get it and bone out to India right away, or buy a tour package to the Banderbans and wait for my permit (required) in 4 days, and then I'm allowed to enter the Banderbans for an extra few days. But the India visa was more important so I waited out for the visa. Bada Bing Bada Boom, no visa. But no time to go to Banderbans.

I'm going back to Nepal to get my India visa, find a bus/train to Varanasi and that's that.

Bangladesh...okay maybe I should say - Dhaka, the capital. What did I learn in Dhaka? This country has 89.8% Muslims. The people of Bangladesh are called Bangladeshis (Bandladesheeze) and the language is called Bangla. The Bengal Tigers are widely known around the world because they are from the Sunderbans, south of Bangladesh. And the currency is called Taka, US.68 to their 100.

This was a tough city to get around. Primarily because there are no women. I walked down a busy street full of hotels, restaurants, businesses, and a college! I saw an guess-timate of 200 men outside for lunch and a total of 5 women. 2 of them were beggars and the 3 were probably someone's wife and sisters. Even the florist has male employees! So imagine an intersection with 600 men, and 15 women. That is how I saw it.

I can actually count the times that someone was nice to me; The old man fruit seller that gave me 2 extra oranges, and was cool that I didn't have 30 more taka on me to pay for all of my food and water. One rickshaw biker actually watched the road and tried his best to not scare me when crossing the middle of the highway. My hotel manager gave me a new towel and toilet paper without me asking. The representative that helped me get my air ticket back to Nepal, he gave me my first Bangladeshi red tea. And the female security guard at the India embassy, telling me that I was beautiful.

So, I wish I went to the Banderbans and then I could say that Bangladesh ISN'T the worst country I've been to. But it is indeed memorable. I bought a can of Bavaria, non-alcoholic beer, and I will crack it open midnight tonight. Cheers to a dry country!

Family in Nepal?

2009-12-23T14:10:00.000+07:00

Receiving an email from my mom telling me that I have a cousin in Nepal was a shock. I was in Nepal for 5 months...how could I not know this?

For real, I found out a few days ago. My first-cousin is 17 years old. My youngest aunt from my mother's side, married a Tibetan and their son grew up in Nepal. His name is Tashi and I was surprised to know that he lives 25 minutes away from me. So it was quite odd for me to call him, tell him who I was and to tell him that I can come visit. He likes basketball, art, and soccer. He wants to be a stock broker, because he's really good in math. I feel so bad, he's in way more shock than I was. He grew up thinking that he was the only child from his mother's side of the family, I told him that he had 5 other cousins living in the US. We got really close and I wish I knew this earlier, I had so much time in Nepal, and he and I could have hung out more often. At least I got to meet him. He calls me sister.
tashi and me.

Nepal Part 2

2009-12-17T11:39:00.000+07:00

So it's been 3 weeks already in Nepal and it's been great. I have become closer to the boys than I did when I was here. I'm just here to hang out with the boys, I have no desire to go back to teaching anytime soon. Considering how intense my last months in McLeod Ganj was, I deserve a break, and this is a great place to do nothing and chill out.

few of my boys and his sisters family

Some problems, my main reason coming back to Nepal was that I needed to renew my India visa but my last one expired November 25th. Problem is that I didn't know I had to wait exactly 30 days to get a new one, that means...I can get my India visa December 25th, but that's a holiday, the Indian embassy re-opens the 29th, my Nepal visa ends 23rd. So I can't get the visa! Now guess what? I'm going to Bangladesh, I don't know too much about what's there, but I know it's similar to India. YES DAD, I WILL TRY TO STAY SAFE. I'm only going there so I can get my damn Indian visa. It's so funny to me, I'm so free...to do what I want, but it's not that easy because I don't have any other options to choose from.

Anyways, I have a week to enjoy Nepal, next blog in Bangladesh!

Yoga & Thoughts

2009-11-15T22:46:00.000+07:00

I am in Rishikesh. Yoga capital of the world. I left Dharamsala last week and am taking a couple weeks off before I go back to Nepal to renew my Indian visa. Yeah! I'll admit, I'm excited to go back to Nepal. Many things I missed.

Yes yoga, I might as well get into it. It's like going to Saddle Ranch and not riding the mechanical bull...okay that was kind of dumb. I start a Hatha course tomorrow and will do it for one week. Auuuuuuuuuuuum.

What else, some thoughts...I guess I can say I'm lucky, beacuse I'm not working anymore! Many people have told me that I'm lucky. But I see it as me working hard getting what I want, and that's what I did. I worked very hard to be where I am now, plenty of patience added. However that doesn't make me lucky. I'm just like everyone else, with debt to pay, and future career goals. And I left it. Gone. There are moments collected during my trip where I had felt lucky. For example, yesterday I sat on my balcony during sunset and peeled an apple (still can't peel an apple with one long strip) and I was looking at the river flowing. I was just sitting there eating my apple and looking around. That moment, made me feel lucky. To see this, this beauty. It's hard to explain how I feel when I see beauty. The smallest things move me. Which was why I had it tattooed. Take out all the famine, war, and hate...everything man-made. Look at the world, it's so beautiful...and I know I will never see it again.

27th B-day in India

2009-10-30T14:57:00.000+07:00

I'm 27. Fucking shit. 27. I'm on the border of mid-late twenties!! Oy! My birthday, day, was great. When I came to McLeod Ganj, I wasn't expecting to meet anyone that I would be close with and celebrate, considering how many people just come and go within a few days. But, I feel really lucky to have met these 4 people. My time here is almost to an end and I will miss them A LOT.

Let me flash back to the past on my 22nd birthday-my first bday away from home- I was in Prague, Czech Republic. (Karl, can you believe it was 5 years ago!?) I remember not remembering anything. Just woke up on my bed with all my clothes on and oblivious to how many drinks I had consumed the night before. Here's a sample of my bday drunkness; there was a free-use computer at the hostel I stayed in Prague, and I must of had time to write an email to ALL my friends in black-out mode.

"its my birhtday... i'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo drunk that i have free intermet and i have no idea what i'm doing...but though....l i have free intenet. i fridcking miss all you guys and having the ball o fmy life."

Some of you may remember this and I'm sure it is still in your email archives, October 29, 2004. Checking my email the next morning was quite interesting, cause I couldn't figure out why I had so many replies with the same subject line. Anyways, good times.

Okay, back to present time. My birthday, day, was great. It started with breakfast on our balcony (I share a double bedroom with my co-worker Jay, we are FRIENDS, that's it. Stop laughing Przemek) with a candle next to my eggs. Jay and the guesthouse owner was singing me Happy Birthday. Spent the entire morning waiting for the internet connection from all over McLeod Ganj to come back so I could Skype my parents. After the Skype conversation with my parents I relaxed at home, enjoyed the view, and read my book. Drinking/Dinner started at 6pm, at a nice roof-top restaurant Carpe Diem. It felt nice to laugh the whole entire time, have bday hugs with people coming in and out to see me, my tattooist, and ex-neighbor.

Erica, Przemek, Jay, me.

Also, adding to the celebration, we finished the website! LOOK . After a few miserable weeks, we are finally done. We all feel good about it. Jay (England), Przemek (Poland) , and I were working on the website, and Erica (Ireland) was the assistant at the organization. We are all completely different people, but we click so well together. When we're in the same room, it is non-stop laughing, there hasn't been a day where we don't talk about balls and Bruno. I'm really going to miss them. At the end of the night, I had a few beers, a powerful flashlight as a gift from Erica and Przemek, and a paper-mache notebook gift from Jay, and a beaded bracelet from my student Pema. -sigh- good times.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes everyone!

Some new things...

2009-10-19T13:46:00.000+07:00

Dad...you can't be mad at me. It's done, it's pretty, and forrrrrehhhverrrrrr. I've wanted this a couple years before, so I was very well prepared. It didn't hurt, I enjoyed it. My tattooist is bad ass, his name is Tamding. If you ever come to McLeod Ganj and curious about getting a tattoo, go to Tamding's Studio. There are 3 studios here and I think he's the best.

My right arm: Follow Your Heart, my left arm: Beautiful World. In Tibetan script. Yes, it's red.

I started to do a 2.5 hour Power Yoga class. It isn't like the power yoga back in Cali, which was extremely intense and physical. The one I went to was slow yet challenging. My instructor was great, however he reminded me of someone...remember Dhalsim from Street Fighter? Yeah, my instructor was like that, instead doing crazy knotted yoga poses, he's bendy.

The past few weeks I have been working on Volunteer Tibet's (non-profit organization) website; designing the layout, filling in new information and content, which takes me all day and all week. It also seems that I'm doing other office work as well, such as finding placements for new volunteers arriving everyday. I'm still tutoring in the morning and every now and then I'll attend the conversation classes. I gave my teaching class to another volunteer because I had to spend more time on the website. Which is good, it's beneficial for me and the new volunteer. I don't know when we'll finish the website, hopefully by November.

All in all, I'm fine and loving life. Miss you all.

High Fidelity

2009-09-29T14:39:00.000+07:00

(disclaimer: this has nothing to do with volunteering) I saw the movie ages ago and I didn't GET it. I knew it was a guy movie, had guy issues, with guy jokes, which is probably why I didn't understand at the age of 18 maybe. But now I am reading the book and I GET it. It makes me feel so happy that I'm a woman and not a man, and I feel sorry for you guys! I'm so sorry!

I decided to make an ode of this post for the BOOK, High Fidelity. I had encountered a little squabble (I have no idea how I got that word) a couple nights ago and it made me think that I shouldn't entirely bag on men but also on my fellow female race. One night, I had dinner at a small restaurant that consisted only 5 tables, fitting 2 people in each. I sat in the very back and was facing the wall and reading my book, High Fidelity. Anyhow, an Indian couple walks in and decide where to sit, the man immediately sat next to my table, facing me diagonally, the woman snapped something in Hindi, and the man gets up from the chair, then moves to the chair across of him and was sitting next to me and facing the same direction. I resume reading and in my peripheral vision I could see the man's head turn to face me, I don't look. I could tell by the sounds of the woman that she was frustrated with something, I pretend I don't know what's going on. A few times I could still see him turn his head to me and then the woman abruptly said something that translates into the English word 'enough,' (I know Hindi!). In my head I thought 'Dude, you better turn away before she kills you, turn away! Turn away you Idiot!'

She started to mutter something and then got louder and louder, the dude just sat there and was taking every bit of word. I couldn't help but look because it was amusing, and how could I not look! I looked at her first so she knew that I didn't care about him at ALL!! We looked at each other and she had a normal blank stare, we both glanced at him, and he was staring at me, the woman and I looked back at each other and she had the worst Stink-Eye look I have ever seen. She grabbed her cup of water and threw it in his face, who was still looking at me. She looked at me again with frustration and grabbed for his cup of water, she attempted to throw it at my face but the guy pushed her arm and the water flew onto the empty chair across of me. All 3 of us stared at the water dripping from the table. I remained in my seat, calm, not upset or annoyed, but calm. I stood up so I could address the issue that I was there minding my own business and should not be bothered at all - the woman looked like she wanted to punch me in the face - that was BEFORE I stood up from my chair. I stood up and was clearly bigger (even though I'm skinny) and taller than her...and him. She gasped before I could say anything and she turned and stormed out of the restaurant. The man said he was sorry and ran after her. I looked around the tiny restaurant and no one was there to see this! What the hell just happened?!

This is what happened...the guy was being a boy, a stupid boy to look at a girl with his woman in front of him. The woman was being a woman; jealous, dramatic, whiny, throw-her-drink-at-another-person-because-that's-all-she-can-do-to-make-herself-feel-better- type of girl. It's interesting how basic we can be. From reading this book, I've been able to 'read' guys just by looking at them, I never tried because I never cared, it's so simple! I can flag guys down the street and announce their flaws towards women:

Hey you! - a muscle guy wearing a muscle shirt - You have a small wiener!

And you! - a nerdy guy with highlights in his hair - I bet you still don't know where IT is.

Ah Hah! You! - a skinny guy wearing hippie clothes, with brand new short dreads and a hemp headband- YOU...POSER! Stop telling women that you've always been a hippie and was a hippie before it became hip. I feel good...saying those in my head.

Okay now, I will start bagging on the female gender. I was buying momos as a snack and I was waiting by the food stall for it to be ready. This American white girl came next to me and waited to buy some too...her voice was so annoying. Everything she said sounded like a question; I would like to have 3 momos please?? I want the vegetable kind?? and no hot sauce?? it's too hot for me?? hee?? hee?? Jesus, I had to look at her, fucking shit...she LOOKED more annoying than she SOUNDED. She was wearing suspenders, suspenders! SUSPENDERS! With skinny jeans and a belt! I even catch a glimpse of one of her 'flares' - a freaking flare - it said 'ROCKSTAR.' This girl deserves a kick in the ass. I bet this girl is from Salt Lake City, Utah. Studying graphic design because it's 'cool' now, loves The Doors when I know she was probably born in 1990, and traveling here because she wants to 'find herself.' The momo Lady asked Suspenders "Where are you from?" Suspenders replied "Ohio, USA??" Close enough.

So if, I said my thoughts out loud; there is a possibility she could be a witty keen girl herself and reply back to me "Why are you wearing that skinny scarf then???? It's quite warm, you don't even need it!???"
"Au Contrare honey, it is warm and my hair gets frizzy! When I put it in a ponytail, I use the scarf as a headband to keep my fly-aways from sticking up! I hate using the plastic headbands because they're too tight. It's a personal-comfortable issue, not trying to be TRENDY! Big difference Suspenders!" And then there, I would stick my fingers underneath one of her suspenders and whip it back onto her shoulder, a flick. That would be the finisher.

I LOVE McLeod Ganj, D-Shala

2009-09-23T17:35:00.000+07:00

I love it here, I love it, I love it, I love it. I feel like a little bouncy girl that had just received a pretty pony with pink ribbons all over. *squeel*

Okay I'll stop that, anyways I had a long Gmail Chat with my brother and I told him about Mcleod Ganj, it's not far from Dharamsala, and it's the home of The Dalai Lama (but I already saw him in Leh so I'm not here for that). Anyways, I arrived around 5:30 am from Manali -not Manila you Filipinos- and it was barely sunrise. I was walking around the narrow streets and I had a glimpse of the infamous landscape. It was beautiful. More beautiful than Manali, but of course...I've seen places similar to this; Taormina-Sicily, Switzlerland, and maybe a little bit of Nepal. But the FEELING that this place gave me, is rare, and difficult to explain. I feel comfortable here. I could stay here for a long time and not be bored. I also like the fact that there are MORE Tibetans than Indians and Kashmiri.

Recently, I sent my parents an email that I won't be coming home next year. Pretty hard, for them mostly. They're going to be in China end of this year and asked if I could visit. I checked flights and it would cost less than $800 for a week trip. I can live at least 3 months here in India spending that much! It would be best if I was in Southeast Asia, then it would be cheaper to visit if they were in China. It's hurting them pretty bad, mainly my father, knowing that their daughter is crazy. But they should know that they're not losing me to Asia. I will come home, only when I'm ready, but it won't be soon. I'm happy here, let me be in my happy place!

Currently I am tutoring a Tibetan girl -Pema- English, I meet with her every morning. Then I have 2 conversation classes in the afternoon. I think that's good enough. The past 6 months was just teaching-teaching-teaching, that's all my mind was about. In Dharamsala, I feel that I can 'let go.' Not be so adamant in finding a teaching job. Doing small work here and there and just ENJOY where I am. I learned a lot in my conversation classes and heard many horror stories about refugees fleeing from Tibet. Most of them WALKED to Nepal from Tibet in the freezing snow, they say it takes a month to reach Nepal. The hardest while traveling was climbing the icy mountains without ice picks or proper shoes. One monk told me that he had to pull his jacket sleeves over his hands, breathe hot air onto the end of his sleeve, and that will immediately freeze when he rests his hand on the icy ground, to pull himself up. Also, sometimes they would walk and walk without food for at least 4 days, and a few of them lost a lot of people on the way. So sad. They all want to go home and visit their families.

I trashed my sneakers -not my chucks- I stepped in a major soft pile of cow shit...quite normal in India. I will finish my post...here.

Jule, leavin' Ladakh

2009-09-18T20:35:00.000+07:00

Jule (pronounced joo-lay, written in the Lonely Planet’s India) means Hello, Goodbye, Thank You, and Please in the Ladakhi language. All I learned in the past 7 weeks is Sit! Stop! No! Come! Write! Speak! Do you understand me or not? That’s all you need to know when you teach Ladakhi kids. When I meet locals from Choglamsar and tell them I teach at the primary school, they think and ask ‘they’re naughty aren’t they?’ I roll my eyes and give them a look that read ‘uh…yeah.’ They understand me.

I met 3 Ladakhi men, Ompo, Dorjai, and Tsewang (I call him Sam). I feel really lucky that I met them. They helped me in so many ways, they treated me as their younger sister. Dorjai helped me find the teaching job, there was no way I would have taught at the school if it wasn’t for him. Ompo gave me good laughs and forced me a lot of times to drink and smoke. Sam is just funny, just funny to look at sometimes. Anyways, lots of thanks to them for making my Ladakh trip memorable. I don’t know if I will come back to Ladakh during this trip, but if I do I will travel more. I barely visited any famous sights. I was too focused (and chose to be) on teaching. But to me, I’m glad I was; I painted an entire classroom, bought a mini first-aid kit, created a math system for the older kids by painting small stones in different colors, and drew extra learning charts and flashcards. Most of all, I got the kids to LIKE me. On my last day, they were running after the car I rode off in, screaming “Goodbye! See you tomorrow! I love you!” Mmph.

A Muslim man asked me out, on a date. I didn’t realize this until later on. You see, first off he asked me to lunch and I didn’t get any vibe that he was interested, so I said Yes, after all he was also Dorjai’s childhood friend, so I knew if the guy did anything, my psuedo big brother would come and hunt him down. So anyways, I never spoke to that guy again cause I was busy teaching, then after one month, he came to the school. He came to the freakin school! And asked me out again to reassure that we had a lunch to go to. I felt a little annoyed because he did this in front of the kids, but I brushed it off cause it was my own irritants. He said he’ll come on another day and we’ll go to lunch, I was like Yeah Ok Whatever. I was very clear that I wasn’t interested. 2 days later, he came to my school and said “Hi, so when are we going to dinner?”
“Dinner? What happened to lunch?”
“I’m Muslim, and during this time we fast in the day and eat at night.” SLICK, I thought.
“Well, I guess so.” He then told me he would come the next day to my hotel at 7:15. Ok Whatever. The next day came around and I dreaded my ‘date’ that was going to happen, everyone was making fun of me, Dorjai, the teachers, they were all saying that he might propose to me, lavish me with all the expensive food and compliments. Ugh. Anyway, I wanted to upload some photos online and didn’t want to wait around at the hotel, so I told reception if they see a Muslim guy walk in looking for me, tell him I would be across the street at the Traveller’s Paradise (Dorjai’s tourist agency that I hang out at everyday). 7:15 comes around and I didn’t feel like going to the hotel to see if he was there, if he was there, reception would definitely had seen him and told him that I was across the street. 7:20, 7:30, 7:45, 8:00 pm. YES! No one came to the office for me.

I came to a conclusion that…he didn’t come at all. But EVERYONE KNEW he did come, but not all the way to the reception, and saw that I wasn’t waiting anywhere and he left. So…I stood him up. My first date in India…and I stood him up. He didn’t come to the school the past 3 days, and everyone was disappointed because they wanted to hear juicy details of the things he might have said to me to persuade a marriage. Ew.

When this day passes, I will be on a 16-ish hour bus ride to Manali, then a 10 hour bus ride to Dharamsala, we’ll see what awaits me there. New morning, new night, new place.

Currently in Ladakh...

2009-08-27T21:22:00.000+07:00

My Ladakhi students are insane. Probably the naughtiest kids I had ever taken care of. When they stand up and walk around during my teaching, I tell them to sit back down (with my “I’m serious” face expression). Instead of obeying, they smile at me and shake their heads ‘no,’ and start to run out the classroom, and when they see me chasing them, they run faster! Our school property is big, so imagine me chasing a little kid in circles, not to mention that I’m pissed off and the other kids are laughing at me through the window. I know they’re chanting his name “Stenzin! Stenzin!” I am officially the teacher they like to mess around with.

Ah hah! Not anymore! I figured out a way for them to listen to me without hitting them with a stick (very normal here), like the other teachers. By the way, I am completely against the idea of abusing children in school, especially someone else's kid. Anyways, I use an empty water bottle. Sometimes when I play with the kids, I use the empty water bottle and bop their heads for fun. But when they’re being rude, or hitting other kids, I bop their heads just a bit harder. The look on their faces is priceless, a confused expression like “hmm...that kind of hurt.” Now, they do their work, less screaming, less violence with other kids, but still…they’re untameable. I only use the water bottle method when they punch their classmates, which I have grown to not tolerate at all. Also, their farts smell horrible.

I saw the Dalai Lama 4 times. I went to one of his teachings not too far from Leh. The rest of the sightings were of him walking out of mosques, or drive-bys. I carpooled with some people to his teaching session and got to sit in the front of the stage, which is reserved for foreigners. I know…it doesn’t make sense. But anyhow, it was a great view and learned a lot. It was freakin cold in the morning, even raining, then around 8:30am, it got HOT. All in all, it was an interesting experience seeing the Dalai Lama, I saw a living God, I SAW GOD!

he's so adorable.

Just to add something little to this post, and a shout-out to my homie Sal (send me a scan of those polaroids) , is a mini-feed of our gmail chat.

Sal: HOT WINGS! i passed by it yesterday and thougth of you

haha

me: oh god, i'm having great food here, but i miss it so much

Sal: i was like...when steph gets back, we're going straight to hot wings from the airport

me: i'm eating REAL indian food, kinda cool

DalaiLamaSightingFoundWorkTemporarilyRacist

2009-08-14T15:04:00.000+07:00

There were 3 people in my life that I always wanted to see: Michael Jackson, Oprah Winfrey, and the Dalai Lama. Guess who I saw yesterday? Come on, take a wild guess. YEAH! I know, THE DALAI LAMA! The Dalai-freakin-Lama. I'm in Leh, the Ladakh region in northern India. It's a close resemblance of Tibet. I didn't go to Tibet because it is completely closed off and the only way to get there is if you book a tour (not my style) and pay over $100 a day. I decided to go to 'Little Tibet,' instead.

I found out a week ago that he will be here to do teachings and I thought 'how lucky' I was. By chance I woke up early yesterday morning, walked to the markets and noticed a big crowd along the streets. I knew he was going to drive by. I waited for another 15 minutes in the crowd and there he was...in the passenger seat of a car driving by, slowly. I couldn't believe it, the Dalai Lama was literally 3 ft away from me, I waved, and he waved back.

Leh.

I've been here for a week, pretty much resting because it's so peaceful here. A while ago in Srinagar I met up with another volunteer from Nepal, Ingar face (Dutch). We've been hanging out this whole time. It took 2 days to travel by bus to Leh.

Ingar face.

A few days ago I started researching for volunteer opportunities. I went into one travel agency and they helped me find a teaching job in a village called Choglamsar, 15 minutes from Leh. This school has 4 rooms, extremely small with 20 or so children. There's only one table in 2 of the rooms and the other rooms are completely empty, and we sit on the floor. I teach nursery and Class 2, age 5-8. In a week or so I will live with a Ladakhi family, I have to experience living in a village. I plan to be here for 5 weeks. By the end, I hope to paint inside at least one of the rooms. Most of these childrens parents are farmers.

They only look sweet.

Okay, what I'm about to say might be offensive, if you are offended...fuck off. There are sooooooo many French and Isrealis. I mean...A LOT, to the point where I can't stand them anymore. It's like being in a club full of mentally challenged people with whistles and bag pipes, you don't want to hate them but you just can't stand hearing them.

Crazy night in Delhi

2009-08-07T13:23:00.000+07:00

Okay so, for my going away party in Nepal I had one hour of sleep prior to my departure to India. It was a great night, good times. Oh yeah...Delhi. I got in around 11ish am and took a taxi to Connaught Place. Good thing the taxi driver took me to a tourist agency without telling me, cause there I met Ranbir the boss, that made my first impression of Delhi 'not so bad.'

I wanted to get out of Delhi fast and get to Northern India and find volunteer work. Found out that it would take 4 days to travel by bus to Leh (Ladakh region). Fuck that, I was hungover and had one hour of sleep the night before and I wanted something quick. So he recommended me to take a flight to Srinagar and take a bus from there to Leh, which is cheaper and shorter. I took it.

That night I couldn't sleep, it was so fucking hot. HOT I tell you, I probably had 3 hours of sleep that night. Next morning I went on a day trip to Agra, where the Taj Mahal is. Got there, took my tourist picture, and then left back to Delhi. Now...I know you're waiting for me to talk about it...here's where the craziness starts...

I'm in my room watching the Discovery Channel (in Hindi) and the assistant from the tour agency knocks on my door to tell me that Ranbir wants to see me. (the agency is across from the guesthouse) I walked inside and Ranbir goes "Hiiiii, how was your trip to Agra?! Good yeah?" Let me tell you that Ranbir is about 5"5, mid-30's (but looks older), nice belly, really long chest hair, and has a big smile.
"Yeah it was nice, it looked like a postcard."
"Good Good, want a beer? I work late and I don't like work."
"Um nah, I'm really tired."
"Okay, juice!" he tells the boy to get juice from the market. Ranbir gets on his computer and he turns the monitor to face me, I see a list of women's names and age and what they look for in a man. He tells me, "I'm on Yahoo Personals, I have many girls, see? 30 matches out of 50, very good."
"You're on Yahoo Personals?!! Have you met any of these girls yet?"
"Only on the phone, but one time, I called and her mother says hello, then she ask who I am, what job, this, that. Then I say 'oh okay thank you' and I hang up, just like that! Ha!" We get our juice and I gulp it down immediately because I'm not sure how long I wanted to stay at the office.
"Have you seen this Arch yet?" Pointing to one of the over-size posters on the wall, was an arch with the word INDIA etched on the front.
"No, I haven't seen it, only the fort."
"Let's go! Around this time, what time now?" he looks at his watch, "9 o'clock is now, is when couples, families, and friends go to this arch to drink, eat, and just have fun. I'm alone here and I don't want to work, why work? Let's go, for one hour yeah?" After a long thought, I said "Sure, why not?" His assistant had already started Ranbir's car to get the AC goin. We got in and went to a liquor store to buy a couple of beers. We started drinking and he showed me around Delhi, I saw the largest temples, and the business sections.

During our ride, he plays around with his stereo, Hindi was mostly played. Then he was looking through his CD collection and told me he had a very good English CD with great songs. He found it and put it in. First song, was "Singh is King," a Hindi rap song featuring Snoop Doggy Dogg. No joke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dpQJPvplTk

I knew this song when I was in Nepal, they would play this video all the time on tv. Just to make Ranbir feel more comfortable, I sang with him, and did the Arsenio whoop whoop arm movement. The next song I knew right away just from the first 3 seconds. I laughed so hard. The Macarena. The CD kept skipping and Ranbir was tapping on his stereo with his fingers to make it work, as if he was punishing a toy poodle on the head when it peed on his Kashmir carpet.

Second round of beers, we go to another liquor store, and this time he got peanuts! We drank while driving, and every now and then he would grab my beer and hide it whenever he would cross a toll or if he saw a police car. He got phone calls coming from the agency saying that there were people at the office wanting to do business, so we had to go back. At the agency, the assistant told him that he took care of everything and his customers left. Ranbir said,"OK, everything is fine, we can still party yeah? He then reaches in his pocket and takes out a baggie. I asked what it was, and he said it was charras, natural hash leaves.

"Ooh, I want to try it!"
"Yeah, okay then!" He calls his assistant to make us one out of a cigarette. The assistant came back with the cig and we smoke it. We talked for almost an hour about NOTHING, I can't remember what we talked about. The only thing I remember was telling him that I couldn't feel anything from the charra, but then 20 minutes later, I told him that my face started to tickle. Then he started talking about nothing and mid-way, he said his face was tickling and we started laughing hysterically.
"Want to go see tree?"
"What?"
"Tree, of what we smoke now." I look at the clock and it's about 1am, and next to it shows the temperature. 39C (102 F). "It will only be 15 minutes, we go get, and come back."
"Sure, why not?" We drive about 15 minutes to a deserted area, he finds the plants and grabs them, all of a sudden it was raining hard. He opens my side of the door and screams, "It's raining! MONSOOOON! Come out! Much cooler!"
"No!"
"Why?"
"Mosquitos!!"
"Aiiiyah, mosquitos everywhere!" He closes my door and comes back to the driver seat, he puts the plants in the back seat, and the aroma of charras bloomed.

that's his hand playing with the stereo.

He said he lived near by and asked if I wanted to check out his house, I say 'sure, why not?' Another couple of minutes and we approach a driveway, I see this old man laying down on a cot inside the opened gate garage.
"Opp, that my father." Ranbir says, he immediately goes into reverse very quickly, "I am drinking and smoking, can't let my father see me, nope nope nope. Let's go eat, I hungry now. I know a good Indian restaurant."
"Okay yeah, let's go." We went to the liquor store again to get more beers, and listen to more cheesy music. This time we bumped Venga Boys We like to Party. The CD was skipping again and he says "play play play play play play, pleeeeease play play play, ha...he's sleeping...come on..come on...play play play, play baby." The song resumes and we continue to sing and dance to the restaurant.

When we got there, I was wasted. We eat and went back to the guesthouse and I look at the temperature, and it was 34 (93 F) at 3AM!!! I spent 6 HOURS with this man. 6 hours. We said goodnight and I went to sleep. Results the next morning: hung over and sick, I am not smoking dried leaf hash again.

Namaste Nepal Namaste

2009-07-31T11:34:00.001+07:00

I can't believe it...I still can't believe it. I'm leaving tomorrow. It feels so weird. The past 4 months flew by like it was nothing. I'm very proud of myself of what I've done here. I can say though, that I am ready to leave Nepal. I did everything I wanted to do. I taught monks, helped out keeping street kids in school, and shared my life with orphans.

Last weekend I went rafting with a few volunteers, that was the last touristy thing I am going to do. Great fun! Then, I had a momo (nepali dumplings) party with my boys at the house. I was really surprised how all the boys participated. I bought all the ingredients to make the dough and the meat, they mix it up at the butcher shop, and then we started folding the momos. We made small momos, big momos, chinese momos, nepali momos, and different shaped momos. I was really impressed how they came out, I think it's the best momos I tasted here.

I love what I'm doing now. I waited for so long for this trip to start and now I'm going to my 2nd destination. This is why I like traveling; staying in one country for months, learning the language, building friendships; with the bakery shop owner, the restaurant busboys, the bar keeper, the cooks and didi's at all the houses, and my neighbors. What I will miss the MOST, are my boys, my monks, Daryan (kaaraazzzyy bitch), Caroline (miss you!), Conor (you're such a DICK), Indu Didi, and the rain in the late afternoon.

I'm going to miss Nepal. The only thing special about Nepal that will make me want to come back is the people. I will miss my boys and will be hard to say goodbye to them tonight. But we all know that there has to be an end. It was hard to say goodbye to my monks, but I know I will visit them in India the next few months. India is very close to Nepal, I can't see why I couldn't visit, even as a holiday. I'm making a promise to myself that I will come back.

This is only the beginning. It really is...my first stop and the beginning of something extravagant. I feel like something is waiting for me in India, something big. How long will I stay in India? The answer is I Don't Know (sorry dad). I am absolutely free.

By the way, Namaste is a respectful way of saying Hi, Hello, and sometimes...as a goodbye.

Good times with my monks

2009-07-21T11:11:00.000+07:00

Last thursday was my last day of teaching the Tibetan monks. They went back to India yesterday. I have been teaching them for 7 weeks. I will miss them.

It took me by surprise when they told me the last day of teaching would be a week earlier. I only had 2 nights to prepare for their exams. On the day of the exam, it was hot, muggy, and tense. The kids were really nervous taking the exams. I saw some of them PRAYING before class started. They did very well on their exams and I was extremely proud of them. During lunch, I walked around the school and one child came up to me, and handed me a folded piece of paper. I opened it and it was a letter, thanking me. So CUTE! Then more kids ran in and gave me their letters, it was so great to read, I will save these letters forever.

After the exams it was playtime. Yay! No more class! Few of them were playing football (soccer) and most of us talked on the porch. The younger boys sang and danced for me. For dinner, we had Thukpa, which is a thick flat noodle soup with vegetables. After dinner, all the kids gathered in the big classroom. Tashi, the owner of the school, told me the kids had something to say in English, they all said "Thank you Miss for teaching us!" Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Then, Tashi gave a speech, appreciating me for volunteering and going through the awful transportation to teach his monks. He pulled out a Mala sash and put it over my neck. Then presented a Buddha statue as a gift (definitely sending it home cause I cannot travel that heavy thing in my backpack), a gray pashmina (to wear when I visit northern India), a DVD about Limi (a town where the monks are from), and a thank you letter with all the monks signatures and a photo of all them. I wasn't emotional, there were smiles everywhere. As I was leaving on a motorbike back to home, all the kids were screaming on the top of their little lungs "GOODBYE MISS!!!! GOODBYEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

Mala Ceremony, any type of thank you gift always includes a sash (called a mala).

Sunday morning, Tashi called me and invited me to a pilgrimage. They picked me up at my bus stop and traveled for 40 minutes up north into the mountains. We went to a monastery that once belonged to Pema Simbawa, from the 7th century. In history, it was said that Simbawa was an Indian monk that brought Buddhism into Tibet. We walked up a long flight of stairs and reached to the top of the hill. All the monks gathered in a circle and started chanting.

Myself and a few others went further up the hill to hang prayer flags. After an hour we had a picnic and did more rituals. One of the rituals, each of us grabbed a finger-full of flour, lined up in a circle, and looked at each other. Tashi raised his arm slowly and said "ohhhh," then everyone else copied, after 3 more times all the older monks released their flour and went "Aiiiiiiiiii!" and then the rest of us screamed "Aiiiiiiiii!" and released the flour, the flour was blown away onto the people facing east and was covered with flour. Everyone was laughing hysterically, I will not forget that moment.

monsoontoenailsfallingoff4monthslovingit

2009-07-02T04:00:00.000+07:00

I finished the book "Everything is Illuminated," by Jonathan Safran Foer, I deeply enjoyed it and was fond of his eccentric writing style. The title of this post is inspired by him. Anyways...

So yeah the monsoon is here, it's no longer friggin hot, humid, muggy, sticky, annoying, sweaty, polluted, and dusty. It is now overcast, rainy, muddy, cloudy, sticky, humid, muggy, annoying, polluted, but cooler. I don't know which I would rather deal with. Either way I am dirty and have to take a shower in the late afternoon. Okay wait...I made up my mind, I prefer the hot days, the reason for this sudden decision is because I take an hour bus ride at least 8 times a week to teach in Bouddha, the rain slows down the roads, which makes my ride sometimes almost 2 hours. 2 hours in a microbus (minivan) filled with 15-20 people (sometimes people sitting on your lap, or the other way around), hot, sticky, damp, stuffy, annoying, cramped, and sweaty. But hey, I'm paying 20 cents for this bus ride.

Teaching is great, the monks are actually learning from me! But they're learning so well that it is hard for me to prepare each day for a new lesson. The past month I was working on a major photo album that took a lot of my time, I had to have EVERY child in this album (325 kids). However, it was a fun project to do because I was able to take artsy photographs and the chance to meet every single child of Umbrella for them to sign their name in it. So it was quite difficult to balance teaching and my work here at Umbrella organization. But I finished the album! I was proud of myself, I even finished it right when Jacky (creator of Umbrella) of the organization said 'goodbye' to everyone. I couldn't have finished it without some help from other volunteers, but still...I was so relieved. When I handed the album to him he said he would look at it when he gets home, him and his wife (both created Umbrella) have been very emotional the past week. I left shortly after to have dinner with my boys and found out that night that Jacky called a few minutes after I left to say 'thank you from the bottom of his heart,' and he was emotional on the phone. Exactly what I was aiming for.

3 of my toenails are dead and I ripped them off. This is what trekking in rented shoes will do to your toe nails. I painted over the healthy ones and left the others un-painted...primarily to disgust people when they look at them because it somewhat pleases me when they are disgusted, and besides it's their fault for looking at them in the first place.

I extended my visa for one more month and currently looking for flights to China. I have nothing to go home for...I can stay anywhere as long as I want. There is a high possibility, which I am positive, that I will come home a lot later than I said I would. Who knows...I may come home in a year, 2 years, fuck...5 years, I may even be a volunteer for life, we will see. I am not ready to leave in a few days (my original plan), it would be too weird. Plain and simple: I am not ready. I just began teaching and it would be too short of an experience, and I also feel like my boys at Umbrella really like me now.

The past few weeks has been the most busiest. Past couple of days I needed a retreat to the mountains. I went to Nagarkot with a couple of other volunteers, Daryan (American) and Doc (Irish), a few hours above Kathmandu, it was rainy and cloudy, but I didn't care, I just had to get out of the city. I spent the whole day napping, listening to music, played Irish Monopoly, didn't even finish Monopoly, reading, sitting outside of the balcony watching the clouds hover the mountains as if I was living in slow-motion, smoking (sorry people...everyone here smokes, can't help it) talking about nonsense, talking to the dog, played home-made Scategories, sipping milk coffee, and looking through photos in our cameras. Now I am back in the city, writing this late blog, and I'm about to see my boys and have dinner with them. Cheerio.

I got another piercing

2009-06-12T17:05:00.001+07:00

My nose. It's a Nepali thing, almost every little girl or woman has one. Divya took me to get it done. $3 fools.

Sorry Dad.

Hello Miss!

2009-06-06T11:46:00.000+07:00

I have been teaching young Tibetan monks English for over a week in a district called Bouddha. I was really nervous on my first day. To get there, I take an hour bus ride, then a 20-minute walk. By the time I get there I'm either sweating when the sun is out or wet from the rain. But the frustration is immediately gone when I see the young monks greeting me "Hello Miss!" The monks are extremely respectful, obedient, and shy.

I had a chance to meet the owner of the organization, Tashi. He called me the day he arrived in Kathmandu, we arranged a meeting to plan my opportunities on teaching 20 newly arrived young monks from India. So here's how it is; all of the new monks are Tibetan but live in India. There are 17 monks that live at the Lama Center permanently, from Nepal. I teach 37 young monks from age 5-18, and 5 older monks from age 19-30ish.

I met up with Tashi at the orphanage and we walk to the Lama Center, 12 minutes away. His English is very good and he seemed glad that I wanted to volunteer to teach his monks that are visiting for 6 weeks. We talk about America, Tibet, India, the monks, and my time table. We agreed on this respective schedule: come to the center 4 times a week, 4 classes a day, 45 minutes - 1 hour each class. Afterwards I ride back home to see my boys for Tiffon (tea & bread). I stay at the boy's house for a few hours and come back home to work on a photo project for the organization. The owner of Umbrella Foundation is leaving Nepal back to Ireland, so I am creating the photo album and getting all the children and volunteers involved. Basically I work 8:30 am-7:00 pm, 2 different locations, sometimes 3.

The monks are so cute! Sometimes you can't take it on how stupidly cute children are and you want to hug them, hold them, or pinch their cheeks. But with monks...they're not allowed to be touched by females. Okay that's fine, I gush and make funny faces at them to get a laugh.

Bad news on my third day of class, I found out that the secretary of the organization, Pachung, mother passed away. When there is no power, there will be no gas to cook. Pachung's mother used Petrol to light a fire and continue cooking. They decided to get a lot of Petrol just in case and put it in a bucket. There was an accident and an explosion occurred. Fire burned bottom half of her body, but then a random woman that was around the area grabbed the bucket of Petrol, when she thought it was WATER, poured it over her. Her body was completely burned and was taken to the hospital. Bad luck. Two days later she died. Hospitals in Nepal are not great and they think she would've been alive if she had proper care. Half of the monks are gone because they are mourning, praying, and chanting at Pachung's house. During lunch I spoke with one of the teachers. His name is Kunchok Mingyur, we were talking about death. He believes that if you do bad in your life, then you will go to hell, if you do good, you go to heaven. He isn't Christian, but this way of thinking is similar to Buddhism.

"Everyone dies at some point! This was her destiny, so sad...everyone was crying. I am not going to worry about death because I have done good in my life, I am not afraid to die," He says.

"Me too." I responded.

God isn't in me today

2009-05-23T10:25:00.000+07:00

I was in Kalimati (the slums) to help out at another orphanage and found out that the neighbor was a fortune teller. One of the teachers (Divya) from the orphanage said she'll take me that day and was curious what her fortune was too. When she asked the Spirit Lady if we can see her that day, the Spirit Lady responded "No, God isn't in me today."

Since the Annapurna trek I was able to finish my website and logo designs for the organization. So I've been filling my time at another orphanage that's about 15 minutes from where I live. I get there by tuk tuk and most of the kids have already gotten dressed and waiting to walk to school. I see the other volunteers and we talk about work that needs to be done that day. Around 9:30 we start walking, holding hands, dodging cars through traffic. I drop off the kids and see Divya so we can get our fortunes told.

Before visiting the Spirit Lady we had to buy a bag of dried rice, when we do, we put any amount of money in it to pay the lady. I put in 25 rupees, 25 cents, Divya says that is enough. We walk into her home and there is a woman inside getting her fortune told. We were allowed to come in and sit next to them on a mat. Spirit Lady's room was very interesting. It was hot, dark, and tons of ants. One side of the room is trash; empty water bottles, rags, and plastic bags. On the other side were 2 mats (for her and her client), candles, incense, rice, and goblets. I realized that the 3 volunteers and I were sitting on her bed. Sorry for no photos, I wasn't allowed to take any.

First off, I'm not sure if I believe in this stuff, and I never visited a fortune teller, but this lady was creepy and for real, we were freaked out. We were watching her as she was doing the woman ahead of us. She had her eyes closed and was jerking her body around like she had Tourettes. She opened her eyes wide and told her to turn around. The woman turned around and the Spirit Lady grabbed a huge bundle of weeds like a brush, sprinkled rice on it, and mixed it with smoke of incense. She then dabbed the woman with the bundle and mumbled words that Divya couldn't understand. The woman turned back around the other direction and I was able to see her face, she looked sad and sick. Spirit Lady grabbed a few incense, lit it, and gave it to the woman to hold awhile. They pray together and Spirit Lady tells her that she had evil spirits in her, after this meeting, she should pray all the time. 1 volunteer (Sushil) went first, she closes her eyes for a calm 15 seconds and started telling him who he was in the past, who he is now, and what he wants in the future. Sushil kept nodding his head in agreement and kept looking at us like "oh shit." To me, Sushil seemed like he wouldn't believe in this stuff and was only doing it because of us. Afterwards his opinion was completely different.

My turn, I was kind of skeptic but we'll see yeah? I sat down, gave her my bag of rice, and told her my first name. While she was preparing, pouring rice around us and into a plate, lighting new candles, collecting her money and putting it away. I was thinking that she wouldn't be able to read me, I'm a private person, and I think it's difficult for people to know what's going on in my head. She fills my rice into the palm of her hand, webs incense into her fingers, and closes her eyes trying to read me. It took her 2 minutes, lots of jerking and heavy breathing. I sat so close to her face to face that I thought she was going to slap me and shout "There are EVIL spirits in you, get OUT of her body!" in Nepali. Instead, she calmed down, opened her eyes and started speaking. Divya translated for me and said that I have been having lower back aches for a very long time (since I was 14). I've been thinking a lot of things lately and unable to sleep (yes, true). I have so many things to do, I have to do work at this place, work at another place, work here, work there (so true). Another 15 seconds, she looks into my eyes and says that I'm a good person, my reason to come to Nepal is good. What I chose as my career back at home is the right path and I will stay along that path for the rest of my life, and be successful. I have no major obstacles and will be happy, and said that I had no bad energy in the future. She asked if I had any questions, I went ahead and asked it...what about my love life? (you would ask the same question too, so shut up) IMMEDIATELY she responded "I can't tell you anything about your love life, because you had never fallen in love." Whoaaaaaaaaaa...haha...heavy shit.

She then takes another half a minute to read me and asks if I was a Christian. I said no and she looked confused, she asked if maybe a Buddhist, I said no. She tells Divya that she feels there is something about me that is religious, she sees a pastor, priest, or some sort in my life. I tell her that I don't see either of those kind of people. Then she asked "Are you sure there is no one in your life that is like a priest? Ancestors?" Then I told her "Wait yeah, my grandmother is a main nun in South of China, she has her own temple." Spirit Lady said that I was thinking of visiting her since I'm so close to her, and that I should. She said to follow my grandmother, anything my grandmother says, I should listen, visit her and take her advice with me when I continue traveling. I won't know what it's about until I get there.

There are more things she said that I will not mention, things are just meant to stay quiet. At the end she tears a piece of newspaper, puts a dab of rice inside, and wraps it into a square. She wraps it again with a torn piece of black plastic, and wraps that again with a string. It looked like a piece of crack. She tells me to carry it with me all the time and I will get good karma, and if I change as a person, it will change for the better. After the fortune reading, I felt refreshed. To have someone you JUST MET tell you everything about you and your past is trippy. I'll admit that while she was telling me who I was as a person now, almost made me cry. Everything she told me was what I needed to hear, to help me stay motivated with this volunteer trip. That I had a reason to be here in this world and this is what I am suppose to do in my life. I pretended the incense was burning my eyes.

Annapurna Trek almost killed me

2009-05-15T16:00:00.000+07:00

Literally. The longest I had ever hiked was one day in Yosemite. It took me 6 days to get to the Annapurna Base Camp, 4130 meters high, 10th highest mountain in the world. The main reason to get to Annapurna is the sunrise view. The basecamp is located in the middle of all the mountains on the Himilaya's. I was on the fucking Himilaya's.

1st day Caroline (Holland) and I met up with our guide Pradip, he's the most adorable Nepali guy ever, he's about 5 ft and the biggest smile ever. We took a short bus to Phedi and started our trek. It was a steep staircase uphill that took us an hour to reach Dhampus. From Dhampus there is a view point of the Annapurna mountain. Caroline and I knew that it was going to be tough. But we made a goal, that when we reach the Base Camp, we will have a beer.

Behind those clouds is the Annapurna mountain.

We trekked 6 hours that day to the village Tolka. I ran out of bottled water and bought a chlorine filter water droplets. I took 2 swigs and felt my stomach stir. I ignored it and went to bed. About an hour later during my sleep I felt there was something wrong. I walked out for fresh air and that's when my fried noodles decided to come out for fresh air too. I vomited ALL NIGHT. I ran to the bathroom (located outside of our bedroom) more than 10 times during the night, a few times I just stayed outside. The next day was hell, I couldn't move, I couldn't eat, if I did, I would throw it back out again. Found out that the chlorine filter water droplets makes some people sick, luckily there was a health clinic near Tolka, Caroline went to get me medicine. I tried to walk for 5 minutes to keep my blood circulating, but that just made my body worse. I slept the entire day and was paralyzed. I couldn't even move my arm over if I wanted to sleep on my side.

Third day, I had to start walking. I didn't want to waste another day. I couldn't believe that I climbed 7 hours in the mountains, UP HILL, that day with no nutrients (other than water) in my body. I only ate 1 apple and drank 1 bottle of flat coke. That day, confirmed that trekking to Annapurna is the most physically challenged activity I ever done in my life.

That night...Caroline got sick. She had food poisoning. We knew then not to eat anything fried. She wasn't as sick as I was the night before, but she was weak. We had to split our schedule and make our destinations each day shorter, I wish they did that for me! Anyways, it's in the past, glad I did it, not going to complain.

6th day, the day we reached Annapurna Base Camp. Probably the best feeling ever. It was snowing really hard and it took us 4.5 hours to get to. It was so cloudy that you couldn't see 20 ft ahead of you and the back of you. Everytime I thought I saw the Base Camp I would get excited, but then I realized that it's just a huge rock. But when I really did see the Base Camp Lodge, I started yelling "I think I see it!! I think I seeeeee IT!" so Caroline (20 ft back of me) would know. I started walking faster and was just too excited. I even did a little victory dance when I got to the lodge.

Base Camp

It was fucking freezing. -5 degrees. Caroline and I stayed in the dining hall with layers of blankets, our cold beers, and our books. Awaiting for tomorrow morning. We woke up at the scheduled sunrise, at 5:23 am. CLOUDY! We couldn't see a thing. We accepted the fact that it's the weather and there's nothing we can do about it, we would have to go back down without seeing the mountains, but still proud. About 10 minutes later we heard squeeling that the sky was clearing. Our guide Pradip is knocking on our door telling us to come outside and that the sun was coming out. We ran out in our flipflops, 30 in. of snow, and starting taking pictures.

It was beautiful. I never thought I would get to a place like this. To be in the center of the top ten highest mountains in the world. It was a beautiful day and we were so lucky that the sky cleared up. It took 2 days to get back down. I think it's cause we were so happy, we were practically running down the mountains. The trek is over, we got to our lodge, and I laid my torn up body down, like a pancake.

Sundance Music Festival

2009-05-14T18:47:00.000+07:00

I was almost done with this blog entry and it didn't save when the power cut off for 10 minutes. So I'm going to make this short and sweet without cussing too much in the middle.

What a great weekend with the girls, Zara (Ireland) Caroline (Holland) and I went to The Last Resort to attend a music festival that is located on the border of Tibet and Nepal. People from all over Nepal travel for hours to attend this event. The bands are from India and Nepal, kind of folk/rock type of music. BADASS.

hanging out

The Resort is also well-known for it's Bungee Jumping, Canyon Swing, and Rafting. But FIRST...drinking. It took 3 hours to get there by bus, the girls and I rode on top of the bus because it was packed inside. When we got to the resort we immediately got our drink on before the music started. All day was eating, drinking, listening to good music, and at night it started to rain. Life is so much better when you are drunk and dancing in the rain. That is until you smoke some bad weed and throw up. Yup, that's what I did. I was walking to the bathroom and some Nepali guys were sitting on a bench smoking, they offered me a hit and I took one...no ramro (no good).

I went to sleep in our tent (yay for camping!) and Caroline came in a little after. Around 4 am I think, we heard some fighting and running NEXT to our tent. Then one of the guys was yelling hysterically "Patrick!!! Come back here so I can fuck you up!" for an hour. Yeah okay...like Patrick is going to come back after running his ass off and say "Hey man, I'm here, come fuck me up." He kept yelling and crying for so long, some other people came out of their tents and started threatening him to shut up. All night Patrick was in my dreams.

Next morning, no one was at the tent next to us. EVICTED. Too bad for them, time for Bungee Jumping and Canyon Swing! This bridge is 160 meters high and ranked the 2nd highest bridge to Bungee Jump in the world. The Canyon Swing came first, the bungee is attached to your waist and you just fall off the bridge, when the rope ends you swing across the river to see the views of the waterfalls. The jump master wouldn't let me jump whatever style I wanted because I was a first-timer, so I had to jump forward instead of a flip...fucker. Oh man, I jumped off a fucking bridge, it was AWESOME! What was not awesome is that I had to hike up that mountain back to the bridge hungover. I was so tired. Yippee, bungee was next. The jump master let me do it backwards because I had bungee jumped before, so excited. It was great however backwards wasn't as thrilling than forward style but still intense. The fall is 7 seconds long.

They filmed both jumps and put it on a DVD for me, I have to find a way to scratch it and post it online. I also got 2 free t-shirts. (yay for new shirts!)

Okay so alot has happened the past week and half

2009-04-29T11:26:00.000+07:00

I can't believe it's almost a month. I have a hard time figuring out what day it is.

Let's try to re-cap my week:

The children are now back in school, this is their second week. But BEFORE school started I wanted to do an activity with my boys so they have one last day of fun. I created a "Photo Scavenger Hunt." I brought 3 cameras with me (yeah yeah) and had 2 groups of boys participating, 12 boys on each group. I made a list of things that the boys had to take a picture with; monkey, temple entrance, taxi cab, monk, volunteer from Umbrella, 2 dogs, swings, a buddha, Sugar Loaf House, and boys in a tree.

They didn't seem interested in the activity, that is until I told them that I would take the winning team to the cinemas. Their response was like "mmm...nahhh...I'm tired...oh...oh...uh...ohhhh...ahhh, cinemaaaaaa?? ahhh...yeeeees...yeeeees!!!" I got them locked dowwwwwn. So they're getting antsy to leave the house and start this game. I thought it would take them the whole day because a lot of these destinations are far away from each other. So I went back to the volunteer house to do my laundry. I got on the roof to hang dry my clothes and I heard a lot of boys yelling. I looked over and saw some of my boys running to each place, I even saw one of them limping. 20 minutes later, both teams came back to me at the exact same time. The winning team got 6/10 right, and the losing team got 4/10, mainly because they were missing one boy in the picture. So Team 1 triumphly won the activity and were jumping around the volunteer house.

photo with a monk.

Watching a Nepali film with the boys was an adventure. We walked to the bus station and rode for 15 minutes, and another 10 minute walk to the theater. Bought our tickets and waited for another hour till they open the theater. The line was crazy! I mean...these people are aggressive and eager to get good seats. People are pushing and cutting in front of each other to get into one single line. One stupid bitch tried to shove me and cut, and I was like "Oh hell naw," so I shoved her back at the end of the line and she shouted something Nepali to me. I turned to my boys and said "What did she say?" she then noticed that I was a foreigner and not a local and walked away. -sigh- I love my boys, they're so protective over me. After that shove and yell with that lady they formed a circle around me so people wouldn't touch me. It was like having an orphan boy bubble.

I saw a typical Indian film dubbed in Nepalese. The actors can't fight Van Damme style, so when they do an elementary round-house kick, the victim backflips to the ground and agonizes in pain. All of sudden it jumps into a 15-minute bollywood sing & dance segment. They do this sing-a-long 3 times during the movie. All and all, the film sucked, in need of an editor, but the kids loved it and they love me for taking them.

This is the line at the cinemas.

A few days ago I met a Nepalese guy named Sushil. He was an orphan since he was 6. He is now 19 years old and creates films, music videos, and helps street children stay out of trouble. He invited me to his little school located in Kalimati, 15 minutes from Swoyambhu. We walked into a square and he unlocks 2 rooms, inside was a classroom and a rack of clothes and shoes. He told me that it took him almost 2 years to get this organization happening; he wants to help street kids that live in slums to have an education. There are 22 rescued children, before they were picking plastic bottles in the slums, where all the city trash is. Now they spend half the day picking bottles and the rest at the learning center. All this is paid by Sushil. I also met Divia, she is a Nepali school teacher that is donating her time to this organization.

I didn't get to meet all the children but I was able to help the organization prepare for the 2nd week of school. We moved furniture, brainstormed how to paint the walls, and hand-washed their school clothes. Sushil is a very interesting Nepali country boy. I mean, the way his mind works and his goals are so not Nepali style. I think he is the only Nepali in Nepal that is independent and follows his own dreams. Hopefully I can visit this orphanage again.

Past weekend most of the volunteers and I went on a retreat to Begnas Lake, Pokhara. It took 5 hours to get there by bus. I paid $15 for 2 nights of camping accommodation, dinner, lunch, snacks, BEER, and transportation. Score. A great relaxing weekend. Appreciating beauty each second.

Begnas Lake.

Between those days I work at the volunteer house, creating a new logo, and layouts for the new website for the organization. Also I visited another orphanage in Bouddha that my family friend's own. If you can remember my second post, I visited a Tibetan temple in San Francisco, and the monks there told me about their friend Takaihashi that owns a Lama learning center in Nepal. I phoned the secretary Pachung and I met up with him in Bouddha. He took me to one of their orphanages that had 17 children, 8 boys, 9 girls. He leaves me there for 20 minutes so he can grab his motor bike and take me to the Lama learning center. These children speak Nepali, Tibetan, and good enough English. We played a game of tag and they seemed to enjoy my presence.

Pachung picked me up and we rode to the Lama learning center. Currently there are about 20 young monks in the school with 2 teachers. In May they will have 40 more monks attending and will need more teachers. I'M GOING TO TEACH TIBETAN MONKS! This is what I want to do. I'm already living my dream, and now this is a dream on top of another. I will start in 2 weeks.

I would like to blog more often and upload my videos, but electricity here SUCKS. 8 hours a day we don't have electricity. So it has been technically difficult. But please check out my flickr, I've been uploading low-res files.

love you guys.

Nepali New Year Week

2009-04-19T19:25:00.000+07:00

Okay this week went by quick. Last Monday was Nepal's New Year.

The other volunteers and I were working hard. We had to set up a festival and party for the new kids that were arriving from another orphanage in the city called Gongabu. These kids used to be in a orphanage that was in poor condition. The country director of my NGO visited Gongabu and was shocked on how these kids were living, so he paid the owner to take the kids here in Soyambhu. So anyways, it took weeks to build another orphanage for 20 new kids, it's called Sugar Loaf. All of us were running around buying supplies and setting up drawing competitions, talking to sponsors, and playing with the children. All that hard work deserved a night of drinking, but we were so tired we decided to stay home and drink.

We bought bottles of Vodka, Gin, Whiskey, Juice, and Soda. We started playing drinking games such as Kings. It was annoying because I made up a rule that everytime you say the words 'yes' or 'no,' it had to be in Nepalese, which is 'chha' and 'chha-na.' But I kept getting it wrong. Results: Piss drunk. We even made the kitchen room the new dance floor.

The next morning was unbearable. Nobody went to their children's houses cause we couldn't afford them seeing us half-awake, and dizzy. Didi the house keeper ran out and bought a bundle of cilantro and she showed me how to make 'miracle' tea. She boiled water and rinsed the cilantro. She then takes a sifter and pours the mixture through it. She poured one cup and tried to run away, I brought her back to make her and the other volunteer Benji to take one too. Benji told me to down it, so I started to drink and I thought to myself "oh, this isn't so bad," then I got to the bottom and I thought I was going to throw up. I downed it and I just sat there with my eyes closed trying to keep it down.

Later that night most of the volunteers came back from work and walked around the Soyambhu Monkey Temple. A volunteer named Doc from Ireland has been here for over a year and told us that the temple was lit up with candles and we should go and check it out. We walked around the opposite direction so we would hit the entrance at the very end. Immediately we felt a warm energy and knew we were close to the entrance. Candles were lit everywhere! I must have stared at one monk catching each melting candle drop on the palm of his hand for 20 minutes.

It was so beautiful it could make you cry.

Are you smarter than a Nepali 5th grader?

2009-04-15T20:10:00.000+07:00

I am not smarter than a Nepali 5th grader.

Yup, I said it, and I'm suppose to tutor these kids. I couldn't answer more than half of their science exam. I'm very impressed with the education system here in Kathmandu. I'm also very proud of my boys that recently got their exam results, they're all over 80%. Here are some examples that were on their exams:

What is crystallization? Next question please.
True or False: Vitamin A improves Night Vision. Can I cheat?
Is irrigation important in Nepal? Irrigation...irrigation...what the hell does that mean?

I'd like to share more examples but I'm already embarrassed in front of my boys.

First week felt like 2 weeks

2009-04-11T20:04:00.000+07:00

I arrived in Kathmandu about 11 pm. It was raining and a guy name Gwenvaal picked me up. This whole time I thought Gwen was a chick. Anyways he gets me a taxi and meets me at the monastery, we stayed the night there and I woke up to roosters cock-a-doodling, dogs barking, and children playing. (My favorite part arriving in a new place at night is opening the curtains the next morning). I see prayer flags hung around the monastery, young monks tending the garden, and miles and miles of houses.
Kathmandu is a BIG city. It's not a good city, the pollution here is horrible, that's why everyone here is always sick because there isn't any clean air to breathe. Electricity comes and goes as it pleases, 4 hours in the day and night it's off. There are candles and mini flashlights everywhere in the house. Dogs and monkeys everywhere.

I walk down to the garden and that's where I ate breakfast. As soon as I sat down, I sneezed 5 times. (Not a good sign) During my breakfast I meet JuJu (Jullian) from France. He introduced me to the organization and the city Soyambhu and told me everything there is about Umbrella organization. Later that day I met the other volunteers. There's about 20 of them from Ireland, France, Holland, and Italy. I move my stuff into the volunteer house that is situated in between all the children houses (8 houses that hold 50 children) I am currently living in a room with 2 guys and one girl, thank goodness they don't snore. But the dogs bark constantly throughout the night....I think I would rather hear snoring.

I am assigned to a house of 48 boys age 12-20. I'm glad that I am in this house because not only is it a challenge to take care of older boys, but they also teach me Nepalese language, now I don't have to take classes. They call me Sister May, or Bimlee (nepalese actress). It's so cute, they have crushes on me; they make me bracelets, they get all shy when I say Hi to them. The boys teach me to play Marbles (I suck) and Futbol (I rule). They even have a game where they play dodgeball with hackeysacks, so when I have more time, the boys and I can make hackeysacks and play. The boys love Akon...I know right?! I told them Akon is not a great musician in America and they think I'm crazy. Everyday they watch tv for a good hour of Indian drama, Tom & Jerry, and Indian music videos (I laugh my ass off whenever I see Indian Hip Hop music videos) Beyonce, Shakira, Chris Brown, and Akon is HUGE in Nepal.

Few days ago, some of the boys took me to a monastery on top of a hill that took over 2 hours to walk up and down. I taught them how to use my camera, I think they have an interest in art and photo taking. Soon I will print out the photos they took and give it to them. Hopefully this will attract interest to the other boys that are private and would want to come out of their bedrooms (I'm not allowed in) and talk to me.

imagine them screaming Garden State Style

It's been 1 week and it felt like 2 weeks. I do so much in one day. I already know where the supermarkets are, how to bargain with cab drivers, using the tuk-tuks into town, and I pretty much know everyone that walks pass by me and we say "Namaste" all the time. This is why I LOVE traveling, staying in one place long enough to fully adapt to the culture, living the life of a Nepalese person.

My normal day goes like this:
5am- Roosters cock-a-doodle-doo, try to go back to sleep.
7:30 am- I wake up and drink coffee or tea with the other sleepy volunteers.
8-8:30 am- walk to the boys house and have breakfast with them. We eat Dahlbaat, a dish with rice, lentil, and potatoes. It's really really good. On some days they add chicken or buffalo.
9:00 am-Walk the boys to school, I alternate on some days because the boys go to different schools and they all want me to walk them.
FREE TIME until 3:00 pm. On my free time, I will work in the office, creating a new look for their website or preparing a photo book for the organization. I think I will be working at the office 2 times a week. When I'm not in the office I can shop at Thamel which is a 20 minute walk from Soyambhu. Or take day trips to other sights around Kathmandu.
Soon I will visit another orphanage that my friends from Tibet own. I already spoke to the owner and he said that he needs someone to teach Tibetan monks English that will be here in Nepal for holiday. I will start next week when the kids go back to school because now they are on Nepalese New Year Holiday.
3:00 pm- Pick up boys from school and play.
5:30-6:00 pm-Dahlbaat.
7:00 pm- Back to the Volunteer house. Sometimes we hang in the kitchen and talk, play card games, listen to music, smoke, drink beer or tea in the dark with one candle. Sleep around 11 pm-12 am.

I met Tibetans...in SF

2009-04-01T15:13:00.000+07:00

It was semi-emotional leaving my parents at the airport. I tried really hard NOT to cry, cause I have been majorly emo the past couple weeks and the day I left. Happy, sad, excited, nervous, family drama all mixed in. So...I'm there, about to walk through security and I hug my dad. I know my dad isn't going to cry so we hug, when I pull back there are tears in his eyes, and he's doing that weird thing with his mouth that babies do when they're about to wail. GREAT! So he's about to cry and now I'm going to cry, my mom sees me about to cry, and she starts to cry. Dammit! You know what happens.

I am now in San Francisco staying with my brother Brian for one night. Recently, Brian has started pro-bono work for a Tibetan Temple located in SF, there is a nun named Taoroung there who is my Grandmothers God Daughter. My grandmother is a nun in South China, she has her own temple. My brother told them that I was traveling in Nepal, Tibet, and India, also finding volunteer work. They said I can come visit them while I'm in SF, and they can tell me what I need to know about those countries. When I got there Taoroung was waiting on the porch, with her robe, and shaved head. I walk into their home and take off my shoes. She lifts a door curtain and inside is a tea room with a low table, sitting pillows, and 2 Tibetans internet surfing. We introduce ourselves and they recognize that I am the little sister that wants to volunteer in Asia. I am fed strawberries and Indian Tea. One of the Tibetans, Rinchen (a real Lama), tells me that this is probably my first Indian Tea at the beginning of my journey, and that we should toast.

On and on they tell me where to go, who to talk to, how to be safe, Tibetan phrases (they gave me an old phrasebook). They changed my whole entire outlook in Nepal. One of the Tibetans told me that they have an orphanage in Kathmandu, poor kids, no parents, and no volunteers. Just like the film "Slumdog Millionare." Now I feel that I should visit their orphanage and compare to the program that I already joined. But, it's best if I go there and see how it is. Get use to my surroundings. Understand what's going on and make a rational decision to switch.

I am so grateful that I met these wonderful people. They helped me so much and gave me A LOT of information that is overwhelming for me to take notes. Gondo, the main monk, asked what is my motivation to volunteer. I just froze, my mind went blank for a second, everything that I had told my friends/family prior to this trip on why I want to do this couldn't come out. Instead I said "this is my calling, I don't know why it is, but it is, and I have to do it." Gondo said my motivation is beautiful. This makes me humble. On my way out, I take a quick group photo, and bow to Buddha. There is no word to say 'goodbye' in Tibetan, so I say 'thugje che' (tu-gia-chay) which means Thank You, and a bow.

I am leaving tomorrow at 12:30 pm to Hong Kong. Can't wait.

5 days left

2009-03-28T07:55:00.000+07:00

So...yeah...5 days left. I've been counting down when it was 20 days. I never expected those 20 days to go by this quick. There is nothing else to describe the way I feel other than being overly excited. I was planning this for 4 years. 4 YEARS! it feels unreal that I'm going to be gone in a few days. It's hitting me hard.

My last day of work was yesterday, kind of sad and kind of happy. I've been there for 3 years...I've never even been with a guy for that long. So anyways, at the end of the night I had a going away bar night, lets just say I had a great nap at the bar and didn't get kicked out, AND no hangover the next day! 1 pt Stephanie/8,581 pts booze.

Million little things to do in short amount of time.